|Reviews for X-Com: My Story|
| residentkilla chapter 6 . 3/20/2015
Well- well- well! Thought u left us hanging here for a while. While the chapter lacks description, I've got the imagination to look past that.
So the rule the world guys are finally moving in, huh? Pretty impressive, but I have no idea how these guys are going to pull that off successfully. XD
Don't worry Eric... they can doubt you all they want, although they will regret it later. Speaking of Eric, would you mind describing him more often? Every time you mention him and his cane, I picture Lester Crest from GTA V. :p
For a second mission, I suppose an escort is decent. I only wish the battle was more lively and more well explained. For example: The fight against the green thing. Sure, I played the game, and I know what some enemies look like; however, that doesn't mean you should skip important details. Pretty sad to kill it off rather quickly. It could've at least run off, making an extra chapter or two a type of chase scene.
In the end it's an alright chapter despite feeling a little rushed.
| Quintain Apprentince of Alduin chapter 6 . 2/16/2015
Sectoid Commander? So soon?
| Wingull chapter 1 . 2/5/2015
Poor grammar, clunky and stereotypical characters, all wrapped in a fanfiction written about a series that isn't fit for fanfiction. 4/10.
| NeverisaDork chapter 6 . 2/2/2015
So, as usual, your stories are still bloody fantastic. 3 Nice going, by the way.
| stanford7599 chapter 1 . 12/26/2014
I find it highly unlikely a top secret organization just calls random people to join their organization and there wouldn't be any string pulling either. I can't read this anymore.
| residentkilla chapter 5 . 11/15/2014
Thank god you updated, I thought you were finished for a moment.
Poor Noel... first he loses his ability to walk , and now some have doubts about his leadership skills. Hey... gamers are great strategists! After they die a few times in the game, but they always come up with something in the end. T.J. don't know what he talkin' 'bout. XD
Snap... telepathy... that's gonna be good. Novel's brain's vs Allen's... brain's? Lol, whatever. Just can't wait to see that mind at work! Maybe he can also use it to picture some ladies since the girls locker room is not available, am I right? XD Keep it up.
| Difficulty Tweak chapter 4 . 10/27/2014
update ya fookin wanka
| residentkilla chapter 4 . 6/30/2014
Well the quick note at the end did explain a few flaws, but I'm getting use to those. I find them just about every story I read, so I might as well put that aside. As for the chapter. Pretty good if I must say. I laughed at Eric's reaction to Teddy, and quite surprised myself knowing he wasn't uniform and stepped down from his position to help the newbies out. What really took me by surprise was how only Eric and his friends were chosen for X-COM. I can see why, since they're the protagonists the story is centered around, but there should at least be a more logical reason why.
So... Eric spilled his milk while I assume Peter was still trying to do the same. :P
The first mission was rather quick, to be honest. Usually it's the first mission that really spices things up. It's where you meet the enemy for the first time and give your first thoughts on it through the character. There was also no description (Even though I know what they look like) of the aliens up until they were shot. I can see one reason being that they weren't close enough to actually tell, but when you just mention the classic gray alien, then it should have been obvious how they looked like from the start.
Lol, "Celebrating our first victims?" They sound like serial killers already. Victims are usually the innocent ones. Ones that did nothing wrong. I guess it's a different case with the aliens. Still you could have used something else such as "kills" or "neutralized threats".
I don't think it's smart to scoop up alien goop and the put it in your pocket. Most of the time it is placed in a small zip bag or test tube. Someone's pocket would clearly expose it to different things like pocket lint or other things I can't really name.
Damn! Eric's down. Maybe putting the alien somewhere else, or shooting it again to make sure it was dead would've been the ideal thing to do. Well at least he get's to guide his team through missions. I'm not sure if it was sheer luck that he planned the thing out before the mission or if he really is gifted. Point is, he's not leaving X-COM any time soon. Very surprised again though. They have an ex-sergeant there who should have as much experience guiding their men through. Guess it's Eric's job now... wait... Oh okay. I'm not sure if you were going for this, but the reason for Eric guiding the team is to make it like the legit game itself. The gameplay that's kinda in bird's eye view, and you're giving the team orders from HQ. In that case, bravo. Props to you. That was definitely something I didn't see coming. Hope the next chapter is out soon.
| residentkilla chapter 3 . 6/14/2014
Well we all tire out at some point in running. It was good to see someone so dedicated to being part of the XCOM project, that they'd be willing to push beyond their limits. What really grabs me in this chapter is how the drill sergeant went all soft on Eric. I kinda expected something hardcore like "Are you giving up on me maggot?! ON YOUR TEAM?! ON THE WORLD?! WE DON'T NEED FAILURES LIKE YOU TAKING THE SPOTS OF GOOD SOLDIERS WHO WERE WILLING TO DIE TO BE IN THIS PROJECT!" haha. I know high school ROTC teachers that gave a better pep talk than that, but still it felt pretty menacing when the sergeant told him never to speak of that again. So why did Gabe want to know the sergeant's name to prove himself? Or was it a test for Eric to see if he could take an ass whoopin' and fight? XD
Gyorgy Dozsa? That was some guy who led a revolt... and then caught... tortured... and finally executed, right?
It's understandable to see why Gabe got so much into the fight, but even then he shouldn't be taking his rage on others. (although, I bet 90% of humanity would)
Haha good old jokes and messing around near the end. Comforting to the reader and they get to release a couple of laughs. Hmm, I wonder if they guys are already gonna be shipped to the battlefield or train 1000x harder since the sergeant said they wouldn't be able to celebrate for some time. I'll wait for the next chapter.
| residentkilla chapter 2 . 6/12/2014
Like in the first chapter you do have errors. Here I run into them a couple of times. Like near the end-
"I can't save the world if I'm not even is driving me insane." I'm not sure what he said around the end there. I'd point out a few more, but I'm lazy. :p I recommend reading over the chapter once or twice to find these errors and correct them before publishing. Another thing that could use some work is description. The only area that I can see in my mind is the area where the pool table is at. Other than that I can't picture much, even with this wild imagination of mine.
It's good to see that these chosen men (not sure if there are women) for the X-COM project aren't slacking off, otherwise there would've been no point in specifically choosing them for this mission. Good thing that drill sergeant is there to keep them all in line and to see Eric's dismay when they are all being shouted at and put to exercise. For a first time impression on the sergeant, Eric didn't do to well. Most sergeants would expect a respectful, powerful, and loud "SIR-YES,SIR!" from their pupils, but the raspy voice shows that he's still needs time adjusting to such harsh environment. Alex appeared to take it well, so I'm assuming he's the health nut. Peter... eh.
Oh and I forgot to mention something in the first review. I definetely know the main protagonists attitudes for sure, but I still don't know what they look like. As far as I see them, Peter looks like Peter Parker, Alex looks like a Lion, Gabe looks like that kid from that Disney show, and T.J. looks black... don't ask me why... I already mentioned I had a wild imagination. Do you have a better description of them? I know writing down a lot of details sucks, but it paints a better picture at who we're looking at and the place their at. For the moment I don't expect to see any extra-terrestrials knowing that they're barely getting their training started, meaning that they need to finish that first before getting some action. Seeing all that tells me it's slowly building up and that's good. You're not throwing it all in there so suddenly. Keep it up and don't even think about losing interest whatsoever! :P
| residentkilla chapter 1 . 6/7/2014
So the other day I went over to my friend's house and it just so happened he had the game with him, so I borrowed it, played it a little, and returned it the next day now knowing that it isn't my type of game. Then I remembered- "Hey, didn't EC over here make a fanfic for it?", so I decided to check it out.
I'll admit that you do have minor errors with grammar, punctuation, blah-blah, the usual. Who doesn't have them?
The characters seem to be taking aliens in parts of the world rather well, don't ya think? They're not sh*tting bricks or anything, but then again who would? Those aliens look ridiculously funny to me.
Gabe, seems to have it tough so far, though I couldn't really feel his anger or sadness. Sure you mentioned him having his head lowered and him also grabbing Eric by the collar and pinning him against the wall, but it wasn't enough... at least for me that is. Maybe he could've also been trembling in anger/sadness/fear. I'm also surprised about how he begins to cool down not too long after. Anyone who went through something like that wouldn't have been in such a good mood that quickly and would still be smashing things or trying to go rogue for revenge, but most likely they'd develope PTSD and lose their sanity.
Right now I'm trying to figure out if your group of boys right here are fighting for some organization, or if they're simply a small group of mercenaries, considering that they were "hired to go, cash and all." cause if they did work for the military, they wouldn't be hired. They'd be ordered or drafted.
The story seems a little to forward for Gabe right now, but that's only because I came up with an idea of my own that would have introduced the death of Gabe's loved ones later on in your story... well... actually three. Curse my overactive immagination.
The way each chapter builds up will let us know which direction the fic is heading in. I'm interested in it for now. We'll see where this goes.