Reviews for Iron Heart
guest chapter 1 . 7/1/2015
I kinda wish that you kept this story up. I know you wrote a new version, but it still would have been nice to read for those that this story was recamended to. I would have liked to see how they both went about.
reader in TX chapter 3 . 5/16/2014
Pretty good. A few points- if Lilian is 9 going on 10 she shouldn't have almost 2 years til her 11th birthday (It was exactly a 1 year, 11 months, and 3 days before her 11th birthday.)

10 pound weights are heavy for an adult let alone a child even one who has Thor & Loki's gifts. They would cause damage to muscles rather than help build them. Especially as the way you have it written its 40 pounds- 10 per limb. Much more reasonable to start with 2 lbs & increase as time goes on. The ankle weights I use are 1.5 lbs each. Google search says average weight for a 9 to 10 year old is 63 to 70 pounds. So you are having her carry 2/3 of her body weight- not really possible.
reader in TX chapter 1 . 5/16/2014
I like the changes. A bit more realistic (which is funny since its super heroes & magic, but you know what I mean). You did still refer to Harry/Lilian as a 5 year old at one point- "Lilian may be 5 years old in body, but she definitely knows that Loki was trying to provoke Fury, or maybe convince Fury to see his point of view."

Have a great weekend!
Guest chapter 2 . 5/14/2014
l like see new chapter soon
Guest chapter 2 . 5/14/2014
l like see new chapter update soon
god of all chapter 3 . 5/16/2014
Great chapter and story so far please continue this story soon.
hannah.kaho chapter 3 . 5/16/2014
Love it can't wait for more :)
pleasedeletethisaccoiunt chapter 3 . 5/16/2014
Quick word of advice: ANs as a chapter are a big No-no. Drop the AN in chapter 2 and replace it with this real chapter (your story can be booted off by the admins if they notice the AN chapter).
Guest chapter 2 . 5/14/2014
Hey, don't let people like fae dictate how you write your stories. If you want to write it play by play then do that, if you don't want to then don't do it. If its not what they want to read then nobody is forcing them to, and you shouldn't change it for that. I read your story and I liked it.

Good luck.
jasonjkay chapter 1 . 5/16/2014
A few minor problems. Near the beginning Lillith guesses her age to be around 9 or 10 years old, then when she is picked up by the avengers and is on the flying hq she is 5 as stated in the summary which really put me off as she deaged to half her age halfway through the chapter and doesn't notice. Also some he/she problems, don't know if that was intentional but it feels inconsistent and off putting. Finally at the big party in Germany you mention aunt Vernon several times, im sure you meant uncle. There are several places where the words don't quite fit. "JARVIS, do Stark have any sedatives here," Should be "JARVIS, does Stark have any sedatives here," just one word changed to a more fitting one improves the sentence and makes it easier to read. As for the story itself, for the most part I'm enjoying it and the interactions between Lillith and the others, so keep writing and don't take any negatives personally, instead use them to improve. Oh and "flagger basted", im hoping you meant "flabbergasted"
tommyboynv chapter 2 . 5/16/2014
Don't worry over much. Although I would like to see Harry back as a boy as part of the asgardian transformation, it has been an interesting take on the HP/Avengers crossover. Have fun with it and keep up the good work. It would be nice for Harry to have a family, Asgardian even...
Guest chapter 2 . 5/14/2014
I like the story a lot so far! Ignore idiots like Fae Darling, these type of people don't understand that you're not writing a story just for them. And if they don't like it, they can stop reading.
I'd also like to point out that Fae Darling is the one with no balls. Who leaves such a nasty review without being logged in? That's like hiding behind a crowd and shouting insults at a stage, so the performer can't see you- how cowardly.
Unless Fae Darling doesn't have an ff account and isn't not a writer, in which case they have even less reason to be criticizing others when they themselves can't even write.
Either way, I don't think you need to change the story. I haven't seen the Avengers movie in a while and you're writing helped remind me of key scenes. I also like how you added Lillian to them. It's coming along great.
victoria chapter 2 . 5/14/2014
What the hell nore the coments this is amazing you have exceptional talent and its funny. Update soon.
Extended Experience chapter 2 . 5/16/2014
Cool! I await your update! :D
PeonyBird chapter 2 . 5/15/2014
I have received many PM with offensive comments. They didn't bother to go back and read the ACTUAL review so I am going to post what I previously wrote to clear out the confusions.

March 21st
Hello my name is Fae Darling, the real author in FanFiction. A friend of mine contacted me after she read your story and said that I gave you rather harsh critique to the point of being offensive...

I must say I was bit skeptic since I hadn't read your story but now I see that a Anon decided to hide behind his/hers screen and use someones elses name to give offensive critique, and I for one feel personally insulted that they used my name. That being said - I apologize that you had to go through this experiance. It is never pleasent.

However that being said I would like to comment your story. I felt that your baseline was good, and the way you had envision the story was also great. But you should be bit carefull with Lillian. I know that she IS a adult that is trapped in a childs body, hence the Whole being geniues - which i love- but some Things are WAY to adult like. I for example kept forgetting that she was five and kept thinking that she was sixteen and the way you dressed her like a mini Romanoff only enforced the idea.

As for the Avengers, you have to remember love that Captain is old fashioned gentleman, hence he would have had a lot of problems concerning a child - even if the child could kick his butt- going to war and Director Fury is KNOWN for being paranoid as you wrote yourself that his secrets have secrets so there should have been a lot of resistance from them (the Avengers).

Other than that I enjoyed your story. Keep writting and when ever something like this happens Again, then read it and brush it off - dont ever let someone stop you from writting. Everyone has diffrent taste and style.
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