|Reviews for Shinobi Rising|
| et-reader97 chapter 12 . 12/30/2020
Dang I kinda feel bad for icicle junior. The way you had him act with naruto made him seem like such a cool guy. Also I'm glad that they are finally past giant wall that is Naruto's stubbornness. Keep up the good work.
| StoneTheLoner chapter 2 . 12/6/2020
If they'd forgotten Naruto was even there I bet Naruto would've picked up on that. They weren't talking to him. It doesn't make sense for him to say "I supposed I don't get a say in this then" like they were.
No, clearly he doesn't get a say. They aren't forcing him into anything because at the moment they aren't even thinking about including him. It's another moment where I had to stop and wonder why a character is saying something. It doesn't fit the moment or the others knowledge of the situation. That line of Naruto's belongs in an entirely different scenario.
The other issue I noticed was a straight up lie on your part. "I don't have time!"... Yes he did. Why'd you say that? He clearly had enough time! I think you just wanted him knocked out so you had him say that. It's also why you conveniently said he couldn't teleport horizontally. The scene would be over already if he did.
Also, how is this getting such a rise out of him when he's seen the craziness Orochimaru got up to and other, more general shinobi world stuff? Seems pretty tame to me in comparison. Less torture and horrible conditions. Still bad, but his experiences should've seen his reactions be a little more tame imo.
Also, why would a guy know martial arts not give himself an out? He definitely knows better defense than that. He did something that could directly lead to a knockout if the superman clone was stronger than he assumed instead of testing things out first. The clones martial arts are less than basic, so all Naruto would've had to do is look at his clumbsy swings and shift his mass outside the line of attack and try to grab his fist. If it failed fine, but at least he wouldn't be behind it. Seems like something he'd know how to do. That would be academy level stuff.
| StoneTheLoner chapter 1 . 12/6/2020
This isn't a very solid first chapter.
There's a bunch of little mistakes, like Kent inferring from Naruto not knowing the language he's speaking is Japanese that whatever world he's from ONLY had\s one language. No, he doesn't know that. That's not even a reasonable guess. Maybe wherever he's from has a different name for their language. Why would he say that? It made him feel omnipotent.
Then there's Naruto wanting to save people the moment he's become aware he's somewhere else. While it's definitely true his character is that kind of person, that wasn't the moment for it. You couldn't have done a worse job hiding the fact that you were railroading this story then this. He's in a brand new world. Let your character comes to terms with it first and witness some of this new world before you force feed heroics down his throat. It feels all wrong for the moment and undermines the strength of character the choice could've shown.
It was easy to have that settled so quickly, but unfortunately it also felt easy for a reader. Like Naruto didn't earn that decision, but rather had it handed to him. If that makes any sense. Basically it's hard to feel interested when I know it's mostly happening because you wanted to get it over with rather than a important choice Naruto had to work towards. It's far less entertaining that way.
But I know first chapters can be hard, so I'll keep reading and see if the story eventually started hitting on all cylinders.
| Xyanth chapter 68 . 8/15/2020
I remember enjoying this story but after some time reading through it again I don't see why. Naruto is weak af, you really did hinata dirty and the whole hiruzen/hanabi nonsense was really unnecessary. then the clone debacle seemed pretty damn pointless. I can see why this story is dead now.
| Reaper's Blaze chapter 7 . 7/24/2020
You know I remember liking this fic when I first read it, but after rereading a couple of chapters I have no clue what I saw in this fic, I mean I thought this fic went downhill with the 5 year time skip but no this was just plain bad to begin with, and this chapter is a good example, like the stuff with Hiruzen, and Hanabi were always the weakest parts even when I did like this fic but in perspective it just comes off as far worse.
Like all the stuff with Hinata is unnecessary edgelord shit to justify the existence of a terrible OC, like Hinata goes on a mission alone which is already dumb because when has she ever done that, why would she do that and why would anyone let her do that when she's already so depressed she never leaves her room?
Then she a shinobi who should be Jonin level by this point gets captured by ordinary bandits, which the notion of such a thing is just laughable since bandits are such a low enough level threat that missions involving them are C-Ranked which is just one step above dog walking
Then she's apparently gang-raped for weeks, for really no reason than to give an explanation for why she'd have a child with anyone besides Naruto, a child that she keeps for some reason which makes no sense with how crazy she's described as being over Naruto's disappearance and how obsessed she is with him why would she keep a child that isn't his, much less one who conceived through rape?
And then she commits suicide for no reason than give this horrid OC a motive for hating Naruto a motive that doesn't even make sense considering how Naruto getting transported was completely out of his control and they would have no clue if Naruto was even still alive, and then for some reason, Hanabi keeps enabling and helping them despite knowing Naruto isn't to blame, to the point of using some super-secret asspull no Jutsu to get to the DCU and find him.
And then the lynchpin in this is that to get here you degrade Hinata into being the Naruto obsessed stalker meme just for this to work.
Frankly I'm glad I dropped this, but I suppose I am sad I had to look back and ruin the fond memories I use to have.
| HungerItself chapter 1 . 7/23/2020
The sir who said Superman can solo the Narutoverse. I have one word and one person that counters everything. Itachi. Genjutsu. Good lick luck friend. He will need it...
| K.H. Grimoire chapter 3 . 7/16/2020
Alright. C'mon, it's the DC universe. You don't need to nerf Naruto that badly. Let's be honest here, Superman could solo the Narutoverse.
| Cortax chapter 7 . 7/9/2020
I gave it a chance but for me, it gonna be a drop.
| Cortax chapter 4 . 7/9/2020
Wait wait wait... Naruto's reason for giving up his power was because he didn't want to be an arrogant prick? Are you kidding me? lol
| Cortax chapter 3 . 7/9/2020
Why would M'ganns face "would have made every girl from Konoha jealous"? She isn't that pretty at all and she's green. If anything the girls in Konoha would've been disgusted or at the very least put off. I really hope this story takes off because so far it doesn't seem like anything has changed from the show. Naruto giving up his powers and all that bs was a lousy ploy to have him fit into the young justice team. Next, Kurama and the other Bijuu aren't demons, they are chakra constructs that have the ability to think. If this is the Naruto from the end of the 4th war then he should be able to do one-handed Rasengans. The story has potential but so far it seems to be a rip from the show with no noticeable changes so far hopefully it changes for the better in the upcoming chapters.
| Cortax chapter 2 . 7/9/2020
Well that was... something
| StefAnnie chapter 24 . 6/22/2020
Would Raven be similar to her counterpart in the Teen Titan movies? The ones with Damian Wayne as Robin I mean.
| Makluan overlord chapter 15 . 5/21/2020
rid the world of gate and evil now that's just impossible
| Guest chapter 68 . 5/18/2020
OMG I LOVE THIS SO MUCH
| N2 chapter 68 . 4/10/2020
Please continue the great work.