|Reviews for Deer tracks|
| Maybe2Morrow chapter 13 . 7/26
I freaking love this story! It's perfect and I'm really excited for more. Thanks for sharing!
| Melrose437 chapter 13 . 7/25
This is amazing. my favorite story of the month for sure. I hope to read more when you get a moment to write and update for us :)
| yukinari chapter 13 . 7/25
| Universal Intelligence chapter 1 . 7/24
I wanted to tell you that your story is great. Don't
let a few critics get you down. You have a loyal reader in me as well as others that continue to read your story.
If your critic are so will to point out your errors maybe they should offer to become your beta instead of critiquing every miniscule detail of your story.
Also, I would like to remind people that this is a FAN FICTION and if the author so decides to bash a character or make all the main character's friend "turn on her without a reason, they can.
Anyways that's my peice.
| Guest chapter 13 . 7/24
I keep checking every day for an update! Your story has been great so far, I can't wait to read more :)
| z fire chapter 1 . 7/23
So I'm reviewing because the last two reviews I read have me slightly agitated. I want you to know, I love this story and yes there are a few grammar mistakes, but the flow of your words and the storyline easily make up for it. This story is amazing, and please take reviews from those who dislike it with a grain of salt.
Though, I can never decide if I want the story to slow down or speed up, I just want more haha!
| Ondine de la Mer chapter 1 . 7/20
I'm sorry, I'm not here to tell you how great your story was. It certainly wasn't awful or anything, but I there were a few things that made me uncomfortable reading this story(ch 1 so far). First, and most importantly, this story feels uncomfortably misogynistic to me. There are also lots of logic gaps and things that should not happen, but we are told that they make sense because the author says so.
Okay, so first I would like to examine the marriage law. Who would support it? Why(Like seriously, I don't know why anyone would. In fact unless this was Harry-Specific, there are gonna be lots of people who find this law horrible and unpopular)? Why would Harry need to marry Ron specifically? Why would only witches find this a problem? What are the specifics(Acceptable partners(purebloods?), genders, applicability of age)? Is Harry stupid? Has she learned nothing? Why would she watch people say this type of thing about her and not stop it? Why would she not a) correct Ron's marriage pronouncement as him being presumptive or b) LEAVE THE COUNTRY! She has experience with public opinion, I really can't see her just ignoring it to the point that you said she did. This just portrays her as stupid. And are you telling me that, presuming that this not very well explained law went into effect and there was no way to stop it *rolls eyes*, she goes with the first "solution" she finds? Like, she fled the country easily enough, just go somewhere else. Magic makes being on the run the easiest thing ever. She's done it before, successfully. Like seriously, make some polyjuice and apparently even the sharpest minds and the heaviest of wards cannot detect you(fourth year).
And let me get this straight, Fem!Harry is fleeing marriage to a jerkish childhood friend who wants her as a trophy wife to gain political power... by gaining political asylum by marrying a complete stranger who wants her for her dowery(40% of her apparently giant fortune). Like seriously, a dowery?! That just screams of a patriarchal they apparently want her for her money so badly, I'm sure the elemental nations would have found plenty of reasons that she could be a citizen without marriage should she give them enough of a reason. Like, 40% of her fortune? That's a lot. Donate that and she might just fund rebuilding costs all on her own.
And she apparently learns of who she's going to marry from her LAWYERS, who negotiated with her potential fiancee's lawyers. I get the impression that she wasn't even involved in the procedure. As far as we know. her lawyers pick the best offer based on their opinions. And then when the final offers come in, it's like she just let them pick for her and didn't look through offers herself. She just lets her lawyers pick what they think she wants in a husband, and is informed after the fact. And she calls the offer good because in the wizarding world, it's worse. You do not set your standards to the wizarding world, they're horrible. WTF?! Why is this better? And from what I can tell, there isn't even a marriage meeting to establish compatibility between the two people marrying.
I don't even know why Ron would do what he did. He wants to marry Harry to gain political power... and so ruins her reputation and loses the prestige he would gain through marriage? I don't think the "I'll marry her to protect the public from her" is at all sensible either. You don't marry Voldemort to "keep an eye on him" and "make the public safer". You throw him in jail. Why would the public support him in this? It's very clear he's declaring his intentions, and hasn't gotten agreement from Harry at all. It's like some sort of awkward and amoral campaign promise.
This story is full of plot inconsistencies, faulty logic, and misogynistic ideas. It's also got some serious bashing of like, everyone(you really think that Harry's friends could have done nothing. Please.)On the other hand the English isn't bad and can totally be understood by the common reader. There were a few grammatical errors, but they were mostly minor. I'm sorry if this review is harsh(because it totally is, there were good points that I just didn't go over and this sort of story could appeal to certain audiences) but hopefully if you ever re-write this, this will be taken as the constructive criticism it's meant to be and some of these problems could be fixed(at least the logic paradoxes).
| NouvelleVoix chapter 1 . 7/19
The very first sentence of your fic is definitely a run-on sentence. The second contains a comma splice. The third is very awkwardly worded. As your profile states you are a non-native English speaker despite your functional writing skills, I would highly recommend that you find a beta or two. I can understand what you're trying to say, but the numerous errors make reading even a single complete chapter very difficult.
| Guest chapter 13 . 7/18
Please update soon
| bassoongirl14 chapter 13 . 7/17
awww! I'm so happy for the new chapter! I really, really love this story so far!
| lovelycrazy chapter 13 . 7/17
Ahh, i really love harry/shikaku pairing and it's quite sad that there aren't more of them in fanfiction sites. It's even rarer to find well-written ones with plots a bit more complex that a reader wouldn't readily guess what's going to happen next. Please keep up the good work!
| TimothyB chapter 13 . 7/15
Great chapter. I like this story a lot. Look forward to more.
| Sakihinata chapter 13 . 7/15
I'm so glad this story is not abandoned ;)
| Nicole chapter 13 . 7/15
Stumbled upon your story while looking for some Harry Potter Naruto crossovers. Really like the story so far. I love what you've done for your fem harry. I'm looking forward to the next chapter and hope that it will come out soon.
| Heretogetthestory chapter 13 . 7/14
GREAT JOB! I have been really enjoying your story. Its refreshing and well written. I look forward to future chapters, this again is a great story. Thank you.