|Reviews for Harry's Menagerie|
| Simianpower chapter 6 . 9/29
This "story" has some interesting ideas. Unfortunately none of the ideas is ever fully explored, and the writing is absolutely atrocious. I wrote better than this when I was 8. Sometimes it's in first person, and within the same paragraph switches to third. Characters are used who are never introduced or described (Lea), conversations start and stop within two lines, scenes change with no resolution or warning, words and idioms are misused and/or misspelled at random. It's written like an ADHD acid trip. I hoped it would get better, but it's just getting worse. An entire relationship went by in about four chapters, with almost no development, no emotions, and all of the characters, including Harry, are caricatures. In a nutshell, it's unreadable. 2/10 for the ideas.
| hpf2114 chapter 42 . 9/10
Excellent story! One of the best "Catch 22's" out there. Full marks!
| jchangpa chapter 2 . 7/28
Well this is stupid as it could be, it is clear that you only think Daphne is the only one for Harry. That in escense is not the bad part, but always been bashing Hermione and pairing her with the stupid Ron is really bad. So I quit reading this and all your stories, they simple are the same plot without anything new.
| Dionysus013 chapter 3 . 7/9
This is pretty bad. Tidy this fic the hell up, as is it is unreadable and makes little sense.
| GBTtown chapter 30 . 3/22
Guinness is NOT beer! I call Sacrilege!
| Karax2525 chapter 4 . 2/2
Quittage is not the name of the sport
| fadewind chapter 42 . 1/6
I was wondering if it would ever end... I am glad you let us read your fic... it was a fun read for sure.
| fadewind chapter 7 . 1/5
So I think I figured out who Lea is... maybe you did this part and cut it in on the older chapters?
It looks like you are starting over - he gets a redo?
in the last chapter it said he died 3 times. I am guessing here: When he first vanquished Voldie as a baby, then with his uncle, when was the third?
Still a worthy read. Thank you for sharing.
| fadewind chapter 6 . 1/5
not bad - excited to see what comes next
| fadewind chapter 3 . 1/5
Who is Lea?
| Snaggledog chapter 22 . 11/27/2014
I am enjoying your story, it has a good plot and many original ideas. The pace of action is good and it has some very good parts. However you need to understand the difference between first and third person points of view when you are writing. You constantly switch between the two and it is very annoying. The words 'I' and 'we' should never be used except in dialogue which is contained within quotes. First person point of view is when Harry is telling the story. Third person point of view is when the author is telling the story about Harry
You should read the books again. Many of J K Rowling's words are misspelled and there is little excuse for it. I started keeping track for the last 3 chapters and here are some examples:
Quittage - Quidditch
floe – floo
It is ‘avenged’ not ‘revenged’
dam - damn
smyth – smite
dailey profit – Daily Prophet
dinning –dining - or do you mean dinner?
ment – meant
Zambi – Zabini
allert – alert
OWLs after 5th year, not NEWTs, which are after 7th
secrects keeper – secret keeper
port-key – portkey
Bottom of Ch 19 mentions Harry and friends coming back to Hogwarts for final year. They have two years left
Start of Ch 20 - In canon, Grimmauld Place’s kitchen was in the basement
dinning room – dining room
your – you’re
fount – front
conciseness – consciousness
misstates – mistakes
lighted – lighten
Tom Mavol Riddle – Tom Marvolo Riddle
bier – beer
Anyone can miss a few mistakes, it just happens, but if you are not sure of a word it is best to look it up.
| WTF chapter 5 . 11/25/2014
Definitely needs to be 're-categorized' as crack with all the spelling errors in every paragraph. It jumps around like Mexican jumping beans on steroids!
| Makurayami Ookami chapter 6 . 10/29/2014
This is really good. Poor daphne though.
| Makurayami Ookami chapter 1 . 10/29/2014
This was good.
| selenepotter chapter 36 . 10/15/2014
I'm surprised that Harry has not become a Dark Lord who's M.O. is killing Dumbledore and all his followers.