|Reviews for All the Western Stars|
| TheFraserFir chapter 60 . 11/7
It's been nearly a year since you finished these four stories, Memoirs 1,2,3 & All the Western Stars, but I just feel like I need to put my feelings to text. When I finished replaying Mass effect 3 on the PC back in April of this year I was left with this hole in my chest, and wanting more out of these characters that I had spent weeks with, I decided to search out what other material existed out there about them. These stories were the first Fan-fiction that I read and they convinced me immediately that this medium could be something really special, that it could tell unique and compelling stories independent of the source material. For some reason I had this notion before reading your stories that Fan-fiction was nothing than fluff and irrelevant short stories, but man have I never been more glad to be proven wrong. Especially with 'All the Western Stars' you have crafted a narrative that has affected me as much as any other great space-opera has, and for that I thank you. I have read many other great stories since reading your tale, but none have had such an impact on me as your original compositions. Best of luck in whatever future endeavors you have, and thanks for the memories.
| DovahCheese chapter 21 . 4/2
will we get any major insight to the Salarian War?
| TheWickedTruth89 chapter 60 . 2/22
Fantastic series, loved the ending.
| DovahCheese chapter 60 . 1/8
my God, I finished it. this is an absolute masterpiece when it comes to fanfiction. there have been very little that has compared, and few of those had the emotional impact yours had on me. this has been a real ride from Therum, all the way to 26th century Thessia. your work is great, and I wish you luck to any and all projects that you will be working on. I can barely describe what an excellent work this is, especially for a rather quiet ship. needless to say that I will be rereading this again in the coming months. Thank you for writing such a wonderful story
| Lokken.8 chapter 60 . 1/5
So, I finally got to finish this superb piece of fiction. You have certainly delivered on your promise of "proper ending". It was a great pleasure to read this story and I am looking forward to your next creation!
| Guriezous chapter 49 . 12/12/2016
I have read the whole series, and it has been one of the best rides I ever made. Damn, now not even the ME games feel soo good to me. You have ruin them for me haha.
The only criticism I can made is to the portrayal of the triad. I actually like the relationship between the three heroes, and they deserve to be happy, and be it together. But you should have give Vara and Shepard a little more room without Liara between them. Maybe you can make it now that you are in the second draft. Just a few hints in some scenes you have already write, that should be enough.
Also, it's a little heartbreaking the ending, not because the chapter itself, which is beatiful, but rather because I know I will never read about them and their children (I suppose, right? Right? :) ), even if it just would be a short story, like Confessions for example.
Anyway, it's a lovely story, and that's the only thing i don't entirely like.
| Hyperion127 chapter 21 . 10/10/2016
There is awhere none belongs.
Rest is fine.
You continue to do good Work with this.
| reviewer7456 chapter 60 . 8/26/2016
I want to preface this review by stating my overall opinion of the story, and the Memoirs series overall, first, since I'm most likely only going to say negative things in the critique, and not mention the good things. This is an excellent series, one that I have read and enjoyed multiple times, and the fact that you took on one of the more underrated pairings in the FF community is deserving of respect, particularly from me since I absolutely adore this pairing. Like I said previously, I most likely won't go into many specifics about things I liked about this story, so assume that if I don't mention it, it was good. I'm also going to sort of veer into a review of the other three stories a little bit, since the problems I have with the series tie into all but the first story.
One of the only problems I have with this story, and the series overall, from TIY on, is the portrayal of the relationship between Liara, Shepard, and Vara. In the Memoirs trilogy, the writing seems to imply that Liara and Vara are basically biding their time until Shepard dies so they can be together. I believe a specific example from the second story in the series is Liara saying something along the lines of: "I'm not saying no, I'm saying not now". I don't know if this is what you were trying to imply, but I find it kind of repugnant.
This leads to a feeling of a sort of competition between Shepard and Vara, with Vara scoring little victories, such as kissing Liara after she changes into her new armor in the third story. Liara doesn't really do anything to discourage this. Again, I don't know if this was intended, but, comparing Liara's views towards Shepard, and Shepard's views towards Liara, it really comes across as Liara not treating the relationship nearly as seriously as Shepard does, despite the profound effect she claims the relationship had on her.
This is sort of tempered by the fact that Liara never forgets about him, but it's sort of an omnipresent feeling I got in basically every scene where Vara is present in the trilogy.
On to All the Western Stars:
Vara, presumably, has all of Shepard's memories, gained from Liara. Even so, she comes across as having surprisingly little empathy for his situation in the first half of the story. Her concern over his return seems to have more to do with the history between Liara and Shepard than with this incredible difficulty he seems to be having with coming back to find himself alone. This, despite them apparently being friends at the end of The Reaper War, and her having Liara's memories.
It, again, is this weird feeling of tension between Liara, Vara, and Shepard. It isn't a problem before they form the triad, since there really should be tension there. You describe the triad as having to be an equilateral triangle, but it comes across as Liara being the centerpiece of the relationship, forming more of an isosceles triangle than an equilateral one. This is shown when Liara dies, the relationship sort of collapses until they realize she might come back.
And then, at the end of the story, these issues between the three seem to be completely gone. Vara and Shepard sort of continue on as a couple before Liara gets her memory back, despite Liara seemingly being the linchpin holding the relationship together. It seems inconsistent, to me at least.
Maybe it's just my bias towards the M!Shepard/Liara pairing, but I find myself feeling as though, by the time of All the Western Stars, Vara is sort of a third wheel that makes the arc of the relationship more nonsensical. I think I understand her main purpose in the story overall, but I find her presence more of a detraction than anything in most of the scenes including her. Her portrayal in the prologue to The Reaper War was very well done in contrast. She's sensitive, genuinely does seem to miss Shepard, and comes across as a good partner to Liara.
Again, this is just what I was thinking as I read through the story. My complaints are very minor, and I wrote a long review complaining about something that is quite a minor issue because I feel it is one of the very few issues with this series. It didn't impede my enjoyment at all, there were just a few things that made me go "Hmm, that doesn't quite fit". I don't know how much stock you put into these fanfiction reviews, but, hopefully, my review will be useful when you write future stories that feature romance, or (if I'm really lucky) you'll keep my comments in mind while you do the second draft.
| Scarease chapter 60 . 8/22/2016
great interesting read keep up the great stories.
| Hyperion127 chapter 5 . 8/3/2016
The point in the middle, you write about kinetic barriers being "polished". I think that would be armor, kinetic barriers would be some Kind of Mass Effect technology.
Codex entry to "kinetic barrierKinetic barriers, colloquially called "shields", provide protection against most mass accelerator weapons. Whether on a starship or a soldier's suit of armor, the basic principle remains the same.
Kinetic barriers are repulsive mass effect fields projected from tiny emitters. These shields safely deflect small objects traveling at rapid velocities. This affords protection from bullets and other dangerous projectiles, but still allows the user to sit down without knocking away their chair.
The shielding afforded by kinetic barriers does not protect against extremes of temperature, toxins, or radiation. If the ship is EM-masked, there should be no kinetic barriers, because to get any effect you have to put electrical voltage to it. This is not new in this redraft, but I have to compliment you for how you used (partially) real astrophysics in your story.
| Hyperion127 chapter 4 . 8/2/2016
Well there is something missing at the end, I suspect that will show up again next chapter.
I am glad that you seem to Plan not only to give Nerylla and the other acolythes some love, but Liaras Children as well. We saw much from Little Aspasia, but almost nothing from little Nerylla.
I am not certain if the bridge description is new, but I enjoyed the mention of Jokers beloved leather seats.
| Hyperion127 chapter 2 . 7/26/2016
I didn't realize Nerylla was this old, thought of her as a matron.
Matriarchs serving younger Asari as acolythes, I imagine that is really unusal
| Devil Rebel chapter 60 . 3/28/2016
Wow. I just read through the whole series and thoroughly enjoyed it. Liara's perspective, the way the translations for asari words ended up Greek, liara's time on illium, the love triangle, the little andromeda tie in at the end, all great stuff.
It's funny that I was actually going through the games again as I started reading this, and everything (dialogue or otherwise) that came directly from the games was spot on (even though I was doing a renegade female shep this time). Not to mention that my first Shepard was also a soldier class war hero from mindoir with a liara romance, so this really felt a lot like an expanded version of my playthrough.
In terms of the Control ending, I also figured that as the new basis of the Intelligence, Shepard would have been able to make a new body for himself. Especially considering all the knowledge accumulated by the reapers during their harvests. Didn't think about a fancy reaper/nanotech suit though. Nice touch.
I personally don't agree with the idea that the Shepard is Mass Effect 2/3 is considered a different person, at least in the original games. But you explained it in such a way that it was the reason for him being resistant to indoctrination (due to his Cerberus implant) and it kind of became a theme throughout the stories (particularly with the valdarii and the old ones), so it's cool.
Well there are a million more things I could say (considering I waited till reading every story to review) but I'll rap up by saying I loved the series and look forward to what you come up with next. Keep it up
| mrosera chapter 60 . 3/7/2016
Thank you so much for writing this series. I've finished all of it now, and it's been quite a memorable journey. A happy ending for Liara, and a link to Andromeda.
One question though. Did the intelligence send the geth everything or just the relay blueprints?
| Antaros chapter 60 . 2/28/2016
It's only now I realized I've been following this saga for literal years and what a ride it's been. I have to say, I've really enjoyed it and thank you so much for writing it!
I see you've left a door open for Andromeda ;)