|Reviews for Alternate Beginnings|
| Joe Fenton chapter 6 . 9/18
Yes, you nailed a Worm version of The Breakfast Club perfectly. I could tell what it was from the first chapter, but you still managed to keep it from being too derivative. It wasn't just TBC with names changed - it really kept that Worm flavor. Great story!
| Quatermass chapter 6 . 8/28
| Zekuran chapter 6 . 8/14
The breakfast club is one of my favorite movies, and other than the final attack on gladly, I think your really nailed it.
| Mantis FA chapter 6 . 5/12
I love it! I just about fainted laughing a couple of times. I can see why you didn't continue this into a fully developed AU, though; the light tone would be hard to maintain once the realities of gang wars and the divided loyalties Taylor's bound to feel when the Undersiders clash with the Wards crop up. Redeeming the Undersiders early enough in the narrative to avert the bank robbery and Dinah's abduction is tricky to pull off without greater deviations from canon than you have here, due to Alec and Rachel's murder raps, and the fact that neither their powers nor their personalities are compatible with the Wards' code of conduct and rules of engagement. (Brian and Lisa, on the other hand, could have been tremendous assets to the Protectorate - they're both force multipliers for practically any combination of powers you team them with.)
You really captured the atmosphere of The Breakfast Club, as well as hitting most of the high points. The character archetypes don't *precisely* match up, but we can get pretty close:
The Brain: Jason
The Athlete: Eddie
The Basket Case: Taylor
The Princess: Madison
The Criminal: Aisha
The two male OCs don't match their Breakfast Club counterparts as closely as the three girls. Both of them have some elements of both Andy Clark and John Bender's personalities and backgrounds, and neither has much in common with Brian Johnson. I see Jason as the Brain mainly because he was insecure enough to let a manipulative, narcissistic girlfriend's demands push him into joining a gang and stealing from his father, while the jock and delinquent archetypes would probably both be too confident in their ability to attract girls to put up with a parasite like that. Eddie is the Athlete because he got detention by starting a fight, not out of any real animosity toward the boy he attacked but merely for the approval of his clique (a much more sinister clique than in the movie).
Aisha clearly takes the Bender role in the plot, leading the group's escapades and earning herself additional detentions for open defiance - though it's questionable whether she'll actually be serving them after the teacher who assigned them is fired and arrested for possession of child pornography (the way those laws are written, photoshopping the faces of minors onto hardcore images of adult models would almost certainly be enough to get you arrested, probably indicted, and maybe even convicted - especially if you're a teacher and the minors in question are students at your school). Madison for Claire Standish is the closest analogue here, while Taylor has elements of both Allison Reynolds' and Brian Johnson's characters. Ally Sheedy and Molly Ringwald, as they looked in 1985, would make a reasonably credible Taylor and Madison, too.
I really like the idea of Madison's interactions with Taylor and the others during detention pricking her conscience enough to make her come clean about the bullying campaign; she always struck me as the weakest link in the trio in canon. If Taylor had accepted Lisa's help in dealing with her problems at school, I expect Lisa's approach would also have been to find a way of driving a wedge between Madison and the other two so that she'd turn them in.
| Debate4life chapter 6 . 4/23
You definitely succeeded :). String breakfast club vibes here. Very much enjoyed.
| Sebine chapter 3 . 4/18
| The Richmaster chapter 6 . 4/9
That was a great way to finish this off; Taylor's change reaction to having a bit more support makes sense, Emma being laughed at like that would probably cause some change in her and Sophia would definitely go off like that in those events.
Good job; I enjoyed all of this
| The Richmaster chapter 5 . 4/9
I liked the bonding here and look forward to what's coming next
| The Richmaster chapter 4 . 4/9
I liked Taylor's lline at the end and Madison's act was good
| The Richmaster chapter 3 . 4/9
Well, this spells doom for someone
| The Richmaster chapter 2 . 4/9
This look like it's going to be good
| The Richmaster chapter 1 . 4/9
Interesting star; I rather like seeing the various ways Taylor can snap at school
| Zexs chapter 6 . 3/29
I love this story so much.
| Ender the multiverse Detective chapter 5 . 2/18
| Happy1K1nob1 chapter 6 . 1/31
This was pretty darn good. Thank you for this. :)