|Reviews for A Glass of Wine Rebuilt|
| Londerland chapter 39 . 8/21
Well. That was a journey.
A hopeful ending if not a happy one, at least.
A few things, but far be it from me to admonish someone else's work.
Kaworu's role in this story felt largely negligible and played for conflict to extend the story. He gave Asuka a wedge to drive between her and Shinji, leaving a wound which still has yet to heal if it ever will.
It leaves a sense of almost but not quite.
Asuka was very well written and very in character , I'd say, but to the point where it becomes pointless to attempt to have her with Shinji. Perhaps it's just my desire for happy endings.
Overall a good story. I just didn't enjoy it.
| Londerland chapter 30 . 8/21
Not fond of the way Asuka is pulling Shinji around. I can only accept so much tsun before the dere isn't worth it.
| hgghowa chapter 39 . 8/5
I haven’t read Eva fanfiction in years, but I remembered getting about halfway through this story before the updates fizzled out. (Somewhere around “I am loving you”) A few days ago, I remembered this story and thought I’d check on it. I always liked the unique take on Eva’s details (like the post battle pain) and your snappy writing. Lots of Eva fics bog you down in description, or are just ridiculously cringy (“Mein Gott Verdammt Baja Shinji!”). Your always felt concise yet sharp, always teasing more information, which is the kind of writing I love. It meant that I was able to forget I was reading a fan published work, and I felt that I was reading something a novelist could have put on the shelves of a bookstore. And as for the story, it delivered in spades. It’s layered, has you guessing at character’s intentions, and is overall just a joy to read. When Asuka was ripping Zeruel to shreds, I felt like I was right there, savoring in victory. My heart even felt like it was beating a little quicker. Afterwards, as the rush of victory gave way to the cold numbness of her actions, I felt myself coming off of the high too. The entire story is just such a well crafted narrative from beginning to end, with very few holes. The scope of the story expanded from two teenagers in love to something so much grander, but the focus still felt the same. Most of all, though, the story was just fun to read. You’re a writer with clear self-awareness, and I didn’t find myself bored in any of the chapters. The plot always moved as it had to. Although this is a tribute to 94Saturn’s old story, the way you’ve transformed it could certainly allow it to stand on its own, what with the relatively dark third quarter of the fic. This should be up there as a gold standard for how a “good ending” Eva story should be treated.
I’d feel like a useless reviewer if I didn’t mention this, though; the choke into kiss in Chapter 7 always confused me. It feels right, because it’s a cool story element, but I could never quite piece together the narrative justification for that. Anyways, that’s it otherwise.
| Guest chapter 39 . 7/10
Thank you for finishing this story. I know the og author would be proud to have his work done by you. I will reread this next year and will continue to read your future projects
| ExperimentFish chapter 1 . 4/15
So, this review is mostly going to be regurgitating things I've already said to you previously, but here goes.
Story is really good, that goes without saying at this point. It's my favorite fic by a pretty large margin. This might have to do with me talking with you and hearing your thoughts, but who knows.
The relationships in this story are really good. I dig the Kenrei stuff, as you know, and my favorite scene in this fic is definitely that final scene between those two. It felt like an exceptionally mature way to end it, to the point where I wish you'd done it the same way between Asuka and Shinji. But what's done is done.
That's really all I have to say on the matter. I dig what you've written, and look forward to the next thing.
| Kumorigoe chapter 32 . 4/15
| Kumorigoe chapter 21 . 4/15
Goddamn, those ending lines hit hard. Love this characterization of Touji!
| ProfessionalBleachDrinker chapter 28 . 3/9
Prior to the introduction of Kaworu, I think you had a story where the good plot points are extremely good, and the more questionable aspects are supported and made acceptable up by the sheer quality of your pacing and speaker voice. I was really looking forward to reading more of your writing after I finished this story, but man, what you did with Kaworu is so revolting and sick that I can no longer continue reading the fic, and it literally kept me up for a few nights afterward. Idk why you thought this could be good for the story, or that having any sort of romantic feeling for someone else when you're already in a relationship can be acceptable for fictional characters or real people, but it's a real shame.
| Naruto Uchiha X chapter 39 . 3/4
It was a wonderful experience reading this. The whole time I was thinking of how it'd come around to a happy ending and to see it play out so wonderfully is outstanding
| Asuka in a Nile t-shirt chapter 38 . 2/12
1. I like your writing a lot.
2. Asukawo is the most disgusting thing I've seen in Eva fanfics but if you actually use your brain, you'll see that this is AsuAsu. Kaworu was her perfect human-sized doll who told her everything she wanted to hear, letting her drown in degeneracy. (this is also why Kawoshin is stupid). Still I vomited.
3. Thanks mother, goodbye father. Good ending for Gendo
4. Once again, another story proves Kaji to be the coolest guy ever. Best girl.
| Asuka in a Nile t-shirt chapter 27 . 2/11
| MAD Marty chapter 25 . 2/4
excellent chapter, I hadn't really a chance previously to read your fight scenes and personally I love the style. mainly the sense of scale, which is such a difficult task to do correctly but pays off tremendously. to the point the action to someone who has any sort of imagination can look past the words and simply see the fight unfold.
I liked the Aliens reference "then you're not reading it right" line great stuff. Though if I had a criticism it would be that some times Asuka’s scenes would kind of conflict with the desperate tone of the rest of the chapter. Due to her going power crazy and all which I think is a great idea and I am stealing that concept for my story. (you've been warned.)
I may just find that kind of stuff less scary or creepy and more fun and crazy, in a sort of watching Joker fuck shit up in Dark Knight kind of way.
in anycase criticism is minor or non-existent in the grand scheme of things. Shinji getting cucked at the end of his I'm trying to help moment kind of makes me feel bad for the kid but fuck it Asuka is so fun to read going mad with power. (justifiably I might add.)
| daikahieu chapter 26 . 1/31
Nice, can Shinji get a proper gay relationship now?
| Glory-To-Our-August-King chapter 39 . 1/31
I'm gonna try to make this not too dick-sucky.
I'm also not a well learned writer, so I can't give you any useful feedback outside of what made my blood muscle have a funny feeling, or what really tickled my brain willies.
So the following is mostly stuff I observed as I was reading and then went back to stitch together with some coherency.
I think for a grand majority of the fic - this is the truest depiction of Asuka and Shinji from the fandom. Better ones just don't exist. On par ones? Probably. Better? Probably not. The other characters are well rendered. Toji in particular, what an outstanding use of his character in The Stomach.
But these two take center stage without a doubt.
Only exception: even after an uninterrupted read through, I still don't like the fight between Asuka and Shinji that results in the kiss in Chapter 7. I could not give you an argument as to why.
I mean, I like the lead up, and I like the kiss, the actual trying to murder Shinji part I don't jive with.
I really dig how you walked the Commander back from the kitchen scene, and the initial reason he gave for separating Shinji and Asuka. Before I got to that reveal, I didn't quite like the explanation Fuyu gives on Gendo's behalf in the kitchen. Once there, I was like, okay cool, makes sense, everything fits.
Still, that little arc might be the weakest. If there's a bloated part of the story, which you've often suggested there definitely is, then it might be between those chapters. Afterwards, you promptly figure your shit out and tie it all together nicely.
Man's recovered the fumble.
I won't lie, I had me some whiplash from the jump forward and then jump back again tool. I think it might have been used a bit too often. Its use fits the most with Bardiel, but by then feels recycled. Wasn't a problem during the epilogue sequence.
Character stuff: thought it was neat that you use Asuka liking Shinji as her filter for treating Rei better. And then Rei immediately calls her out for apologizing just to alleviate her guilt instead of actually being sorry. So I assume. Otherwise it's just Rei dunking on her, which is also funny.
My gripe at this stage in the story: I think the two resolutions Asuka achieved in chapter 20 needed to be given some more space. I don't know where you could have done that, but settling Shinji and then Kaji felt like we were just checking things off before the BIG DIVIDE.
The Bardiel incident was killer. I really liked Asuka being out of the battle. It was a good setup for what she did next. It was also just neat switching between her POV in the command center and Shinji and Rei's out in the field. Being able to feel the weight of the damage done by Bardiel, despite it being a victory, was awesome. I could feel the consequences of the battle, from all angles, and it's not something often done.
Especially well rendered through Misato's pov. Also, using it as a catalyst for unifying the Misato/Kaji/Ritsuko Triumvirate was a great idea.
Anyone who says the Zeruel fight was underwhelming is a mega-neckbeard who jerks off to Nobody Dies quotes. It had such an awesome set up and involved multiple perspectives that gave us a really sick overview of an Angel battle and the raw devastation they can result in, especially with this particular Angel. Your ability to write action sequences really shines here dude.
And then again in the final battle.
Also Shinji has some great development in this chapter. As he progresses, Asuka regresses and inevitably just takes longer to progress by the end of the story.
Segue. I'll say it sucks no one talks more about the Rei/Kensuke stuff. How she feels out of place after Bardiel and then feels like she can't talk with him, and then thinks more on if she actually likes him. That's a really cool thing and a good way for her to end up back under Gendo's influence. Her resolution with Kensuke was as well done as it could be. They're such a weird pair to begin with, but it just about fits here. I can feel Kensuke's disappointment that Rei doesn't feel like they can be more, when the camera is pointed at the ground and there's just silence for a bit, but he recovers and is a good friend in the end either way. Good vibes all around.
Only gripe with the last couple of battles: There's basically no gap between Arael and Armisael. Maybe more could have been done in the following chapter, but I don't think that there was anything more you wanted to do other than sustain Asuka and Shinji being apart and have Rei run back to the Commander. Which I really liked.
I didn't like being teased with a confrontation between Asuka and Shinji at first. I understood the tension needed to be drawn out, I just didn't like it at the time. Warmed up when Shinji brought it up later, how it didn't feel right to say what he wanted to say with a wall between them. Or something along those lines. I was good.
The Armisael mind-meld between Asuka and Rei is definitely one of the cooler things I've seen come out of Eva fanfic. The explanation for why both Evas didn't blow up was convenient, but also cool and very Eva.
The dance portion of the reunion scene is incredibly goofy, but other than that, was a really nice reconciliation. Shinji is definitely the kind of boy who would just be around and be patient, because at this point he gets Asuka, at least a little. He doesn't demand an apology, but gives her the opportunity to apologize and she does. It's well done.
"now come hug me and stuff" was my absolute favorite. Loved the whole thing.
And now we move into some really fun stuff.
I think when people complain about Kaworu, they like, somehow miss the weird relationship she has with him, and how weird she thinks it is, even when she feels comfortable.
I do kinda wish Kaworu felt more like his own character. That doesn't make much sense, though. I don't know, maybe just more time with him, even though we get quite a bit. Not sure how to articulate that one man.
I unironically like Asuka/Kaworu interactions, so it was a win either way.
Now it's end game time.
This is how a siege on Tokyo-3 should be written. It has all of these great set pieces and just kick ass moments. I barely remember the siege in Genocide. I don't think I will be able to forget some of the moments AGoWR delivered. The military actions, operatives, and equipment are described and relayed without delving into obnoxious amounts of detail. These chapters had me on the edge of my seat man.
The Eva/MP battle was outstanding. Really vicious and brutal, as it should be. Just nailed Eva on Eva combat. The added detail of Asuka sinking into a battle fury was really cool. Only thing I apparently missed was Unit-02 literally eating an S2 engine. Dope though.
Rei's arrival was such a badass moment, and Misato's reaction in HQ. Phenomenal.
And alright, fuck you for taking the goofy sync dancing and making it cool and less goofy. I love that you keep bringing it back, their highest point of connection in this story, especially in their final battle against Kaworu.
I didn't think I would like Asuka sparing Kaworu. It's fair, but how do you follow up that decision? She's like "go fuck off and be your own person."
And then he leaves, lol. I think you did the best you could, I don't know what feels lacking in the scene for me. Just feels really abrupt. Maybe it's fanfic brain.
To note the character work: I really appreciate how you've worked out Gendo's character. The confrontation Fuyutsuki has with him, and the accusation that he couldn't accept that Yui left him voluntarily.
Another thing that is really gross in other stories is Shinji meeting his mother. Usually she appears as an actual person before him and has actual dialogue with him. I love what you did so much better, where she communicates via impressions and thoughts, and her surprise and disappointment when Shinji's memories of Gendo contrast and sharply with her own. The resolution with Shinji bringing Gendo into the plug to be joined with her was a satisfying way to conclude those characters.
The following epilogue wraps everything up nice and neat. There are a lot of other Eva stories where this is done in the most indulgent, eye-rolling manner ever. Not so here. It says everything it needs to and doesn't linger.
That's a staple of this story. There are quite a few events and circumstances present in this story that you can find in other Eva fanfics, but AGoWR handles them with respect to the characters and the reader. It handles them competently. It says what it needs to and doesn't linger. (Although there are 2 or 3 instances as mentioned above where maybe it should have. Even then, the fact that it didn't doesn't bring the story down.)
That's worth some mad respect.
I don't think you will, but just in case you do: if you ever write any more fanfiction, then I take back everything. AGoWR sucks and you are a hack-fraud.
P.S. nice Afterword loser.
| daikahieu chapter 7 . 1/27
"When you feel it, you will know" doesn't sound like something Rei would say to me. I feel like someone who so severely lacks human interaction like Rei won't have enough context to interpret her own feelings and thus relate to Shinji in this way.