|Reviews for The Erased Chronicles|
| SomeGuyOnHisKeyboard chapter 64 . 5h
Well, well! So this was not the chapter I was expecting, but given how behind I am anyway and that the next chapter is just a click away, I don't suppose that really matters now, does it? lol.
ANYWAY - a huge kudos to Demod20 for writing this short but sweet chapter! The beginning was great, showing the literal and figurative scars Videl has been bearing throughout these ten long years of her life, plus a little fanservice to emphasize the 'literal' part ;) In all seriousness though, it was kinda tough reading the first part of this chapter. Videl has never struck me as the ultimate "sweet girl" type of character, but seeing her more callous side displayed here as a result of Babidi's magic and years of harsh training did make me feel for her in a way that I've never felt for her at all in canon. Here, you've fleshed out (in more ways than one...ha) aspects of her personality that sadly haven't really been explored in modern Dragon Ball.
Of course, all of that gets rectified toward the end, where we see how her icy exterior is slowly starting to melt away thanks to our favorite lavender haired Saiyan hybrid asking her out! Lol admittedly I, like many others I'm sure, had kind of an "lol wtf?" reaction when I first became aware of the Trunks/Videl pairing in this story, but the way its written here and the way Trunks asks her out (as well as her cutely surprised reaction to it) makes me warm up to the idea very quickly! And, of course, explaining that this is the first time Videl has felt genuine happiness in a long time only adds to the greatness of this development!
Demod20, you truly have taken an idea that I originally would never have been a fan of and turned it into something great! This chapter, while short, may serve as one of my favorite chapters of the entire story, and it doesn't even have the two main characters in it! I give my hats off to you, as well as to LastationLover for this amazing journey you've taken me on thus far. I cannot wait to continue!
| SomeGuyOnHisKeyboard chapter 63 . 6h
HELLO! It's good to be back! Admittedly I almost forgot about this story entirely, given how busy I am with my life atm, but now I have some time to catch up on it and I love this story and your writing so, well, why not?
First off, I really love how you opened up with this chapter, starting with a little fanservice and the implications of Gohan and Erasa having some...late night marital fun. Lol. The way you wrote Gohan's instinct that "something was coming" and Erasa comforting him was a nice little way to show their relationship at its best, and some foreshadowing that something big is indeed coming!
Now onto Beerus and Whis. Like many characters in this story, you truly do him justice! The sophisticated, yet sassy destroyer god and his even more sophisticated teacher destroying planets because they (or rather, Beerus) was unsatisfied with the meals provided to them was as much funny as it was charming to read! And of course the end of that paragraph, with Beerus destroying the remainders of Freeza's army and thus any chance of seeing the Arcosian lord again. That made me happy, both as a Beerus fan and someone who never particularly liked Revival of F anyway. Even though it would have been interesting to see your take on Frieza, I can't say that I disagree with that decision!
The mysterious tidbit of the unknown female entity in an unknown section of the universe observing how she could only buy ten years in her unknown scheme was also fascinating! I can't wait to see who this new villain is and what she does!
The part where Piccolo couldn't shake the "ominous feeling" just like Gohan was also a nice tidbit! Great work!
And then we get to the meat itself, the Tenkaichi Budokai. Admittedly I've grown quite weary of tournaments in Dragon Ball, what with having to see so many matches in Super, but here you make it worthwhile! First, we get to see the Z gang together after ten years and learn of some interesting occurences, mainly Puar gaining an humanoid form, Videl and Trunks hooking up, and of course Bulma's new android servant named "Quirka" who as I could tell from the get go (and as you pointed out in the A/N) is modeled after Android 21. All very fascinating stuff that adds to the fun experience of reading your work!
The matches were very well executed too. Yurin vs Abyav (showing her feisty attitude despite being 40 and her wonderful use of magic), Erasa vs Raiar (who I admittedly felt sorry for, having trained for forty years) and Gohan vs Shiming (it was amusing seeing him completely wipe the floor with her) were all handled really well, but the real show no doubt will be the next chapter when the real battles begin!
I will get to your next chapter shortly. See you there!
| TamaneDeverl chapter 28 . 4/12
Hey! I know your story is far past the point that I am reading now, but I just wanted to say that your writing is impeccable! You have realistic depictions of the personalities involved, (or as real as Dragon Ball characters can get) your grammar and word choice are on the ball, and your story makes logical sense. From a technical standpoint, I really enjoy this story. I can't think of anything at the moment to criticize-which I'm actually disappointed about; not that I want to tear you down or anything, I just think that kindly constructive criticism should accompany praise if possible.
I did think your attitude toward Mr. Satan was odd. You are easily the person I have encountered in this fandom that dislikes him the most. Personally I thought that while he was a coward and deceitful, he wasn't malicious about it, and he seemed to do good things with his fame where he could-he seemed to try to be a good influence on kids and whatnot, although that might be unique to the North American dub for all I know.
That being said, I want to stress that this difference of opinion is by no means a deal breaker, and that I'm glad that if someone was going to take the title of champion from him, it was Krillin. The guy is legitimately a skilled fighter, and he had been trying for that title since he was what-12? Krillin definitely deserved a win in the ring.
Anyway, I know you're beyond where I am by a ways, but I was reading and just had to review! Keep up the good work!
| RKF22 chapter 71 . 4/9
Excellent work can't wait for more
| Exiled Soul Nomad chapter 71 . 4/9
| Guest chapter 71 . 4/9
Will Gohan become a super Saiyan god for the first time
| maximusrexmundi chapter 71 . 4/9
Cool new techniques from Vi and awesome end to the match. I like how you gave both characters their moments. Excited for the next steps!
| victor0606 chapter 71 . 4/9
| RHatch89 chapter 71 . 4/9
Awesome update :)
| Guest chapter 30 . 4/6
Goku being a smart man is such a fundamental misinterpretation of his character that I think I finally realize what's so off about this fic besides Videl being fanon Akane levels of hysteric ragetard
| Guest chapter 28 . 4/6
super krillin god super krillin when
| Guest chapter 7 . 4/4
theres something about bacterian being descended from a great philosopher that is surprisingly appropriate
| silverhawk88 chapter 70 . 3/26
Oh boy, Beerus is coming!
I am anxious how you are going to do the Super Saiyan God without the six Saiyans required to perform the ritual!
Go SSG Gohan!
| RKF22 chapter 70 . 3/26
great wor cant wait for more
| victor0606 chapter 70 . 3/26