Reviews for The Erased Chronicles
SomeGuyOnHisKeyboard chapter 68 . 9/29
Ah, the grand finale of the Master vs Student match! Where do I start!?

First off, the flashbacks were a brilliant touch. You write Piccolo so well both before and after he reformed, and seeing the contrast was both fascinating and deeply emotional considering how far the Namekian warrior has come. I love how cruelly you wrote him in the past, but also seeing glimmers of kindness here and there, like how he felt proud of someone for the first time and genuinely wanting Gohan to surpass him. A wish he received many years later.

I also love how Piccolo talks to Gohan during the match. You can tell winning isn't the most important thing to him, he's constantly teaching Gohan and wanting him to improve. And when he rightly scolds Gohan for his arrogance as an enhanced Super Saiyan, and Gohan's mind flashes to Goku, Krillin, Erasa and Pen...man. That was a punch to the gut! The Piccolo clones were also a nice touch as well as Gohan deducing which ones were fake by the lack of shadows. You've covered a lot of interesting ground.

I will say though, there were some noticeable typos. The line "Gohans blat was already at enough of a disadvantage", it should be blast. And in the second flashback, "Piccolo had no retort, looking at" and then the sentence ends felt awkward. I feel like it should read "looking at Gohan." There may have been more but those stuck out to me.

That being said, this chapter was terrific! The ending of Gohan carrying his old master to off the arena, and Piccolo talking about how proud he is of his student was the perfect way to end a perfect match. As you know Piccolo is my favorite DB character, and this chapter felt very DBesque! You've truly done him and his relationship with Gohan justice.
Black Rose of Twilight chapter 17 . 9/23
Okay, So Rayo was based off of Yuysuke Urameshi from Yuyu Hakusho, right? Please tell me I’m right.
SomeGuyOnHisKeyboard chapter 67 . 9/23
And so it begins! The master-student rematch.

As a big Piccolo fan, and Gohan fan, this was a real treat to read. You really did capture that essence of two fighters who were a master in their craft duking it out in the ring. Every move Gohan and Piccolo made felt focused, and it was intriguing but not entirely surprising when I saw how much they both were holding back. Piccolo still having the Majin mark made it even more poignant, almost eerie considering the last time he fought Gohan, and I could visualize almost everything as well as if I was watching on TV or reading the manga.

Piccolo's barrier technique is a nice touch, especially since as you stated its modeled after a move Future Gohan had in the games. Also I love that you remembered he can stretch his limbs. And the bit where him and Gohan have that brief conversation toward the end and he tells Gohan how proud he is of him...damn. It's so touching but also bittersweet because I know Goku is looking down at his son too, just as proud if not more. I'm sure for Piccolo its quite an adjustment compared to the first tournament he's fought in!

Now onto the next part! If part one was this intense, I can't wait to see part two!
SomeGuyOnHisKeyboard chapter 66 . 9/22
I know you said you didn't like how short this chapter was but I enjoyed it regardless! Quirka and Carminas clashing personalities and fighting styles made for a very entertaining match. I liked the imagery of Quirka using Carminas arm as a zipline and running across it, ha. And Carmina unrolling herself from a ball like form and unleashing punches as Quirka just casually avoids them. For someone so shy, she sure is confident in battle!

Shame we won't see Carmina again in this tourney, but someone had to go. Definitely looking forward to Gohan VS Piccolo in the next chapter!
kukuhimanpr chapter 6 . 9/15
erasa you have no idea how addicted the saiyan race is to MEAT. despite many of them being named after vegetables, vegetarian saiyan is illegal.
SomeGuyOnHisKeyboard chapter 62 . 9/12
Love the sparring in this chapter! Erasa, Yamcha and Tenshinhan didn't lose control of ther battles for even a second. Especially satisfying to see Yamcha get some action and decimate his opponent, the dude deserves to catch a break!

I love how Tien didn't even waste time, he just dusted his opponent and then Lunch rummaged her for money lol. Always nice to see her. This new method of inviting people to the Tenkaicho Budokai is curious indeed, I can't wait to read more.
SomeGuyOnHisKeyboard chapter 61 . 9/6
Great start to the Hakaishin arc!

First off, I love how you write Beerus and Whis. Very entertaining and in character! The bit at the beginning where Whis threatens Beerus with his karaoke machine got a chuckle out of me because i had a very similar idea in my story, lol. It will be interesting to see how they play into this unique setting!

Muten Roshi training Pen was such a sweet moment and I honestly love that you included that. I feel like so many people exaggerate how much of a lecher Roshi is to the point where they forget he's a master of martial arts and at the end of the day has a heart of gold. I think you captured that brilliantly here, with his patiently training Pen and even being reminded of Goku, haha. Pen surprising him with the Kamehameha was priceless too!

And hmm, this tournament invitation. Interesting. Masked fighters fighting those who are invited? That's a unique idea that I have to commend you for coming up with (unless you got it from somewhere else, but it's still cool lol). Nice chapter all around! I do wonder how this tournament will play in with Beerus and Whis' appearance.

Godspeed, friend!
SomeGuyOnHisKeyboard chapter 60 . 9/4
I seriously love how good you are at fleshing out the characters while still keeping them believable to their Canon counterparts. Goten is into fighting, Trunks is into being president at capsule Corp (and the ladies...heh) and Gohan is invested in his academics, and is remarkably humble about it too!

I loved the interaction between Gohan and his impressed female stusent, as well as his daughter and father in law. Son family feels all around!

Ohhh, the Hakaishin approaches! Onward to the next chapter...
Anon chapter 1 . 9/3
A very fun chapter
wallyexists chapter 1 . 9/3
caught this author in 4k simping for a 14 year old anime character on twitter
SomeGuyOnHisKeyboard chapter 59 . 9/3
This was a short chapter but sweet! I seriously love the amount of detail you put into the characters lives. Gohan inventing a new field of study, Bulma revolutionizing the world with Geros technology, it's impressive! I'll admit I wish I saw Gohan and Erasas wedding but I understand why you'd leave it out. As someone who also isn't married though I can tell you it isn't hard, haha. To be honest though I think Piccolo would attend, he's too close to Gohan not to.
SomeGuyOnHisKeyboard chapter 57 . 9/2
Hello, old friend! My goodness, it has been a while since I've reviewed. But here I am! And boy am I glad to be back.

First off, I love the bit with Mr. Satan at the beginning. You capture his character so well, being a goofball who seeks glory for himself but also has a good heart underneath (Seriously, I love how he respects Krillins memory enough to rightfully place him as the champion of the tournament). Videls exchange with him was interesting too, and heartbreaking considering how close they apparently were before in the past. And oooh is he gonna get a girlfriend for Buu? That oughta be interesting lol

Ah, the training! Wonderful, you write fight scenes so beautifully. Very detailed and I can easily picture everything that's going on. I love that Piccolo is being his old harsh self with Videl, and like how with Gohan, it's ultimately to draw out her potential. Ah poor Dende, having to witness such cold treatment lol. And I LOVE Piccolos phrase of how he's going to "kill" Videl several times over, just...wonderful.

Tiens reflection on Vegeta an especially Krillin was as profound as it was heartbreaking. And I love how you have him with Lunch. I always loved those two together, even 8n her blonde form I always thought they made a nice couple. And man 17 and 18s reunion was so bittersweet considering 17 didn't know of Krillina death. I'm glad 17 settled down with a family of his own though! Nice touch.

Hmmm what's Bulma working on? I wonder...

Smashing job as usual! And again it's good to be back. I must thank you for reaching out to me and putting it to my mind to review this, been too long. Hope all the best for you!
Guest chapter 110 . 9/2
I’ll happily support the goofy Dragon Ball movie over an edge-fest any day of the week.
The movie was a good kind of stupid, but that’s the point dragon ball has always been a goofy comedy everyone just seems to forget because of how hard Dragon Ball Z went.
I’d rather be happy with something stupid than disappointed in something edgy and serious.
Goku275 chapter 110 . 8/31
I pray things will get better for you and your family.
Power of Magic chapter 110 . 8/31
That was quite the chapter, and I'm eager for the next one. It'll be interesting to see who Goku Black is (especially if your not having Zamasu being the one inside Goku's body). And lets hope that the four of them were able to do enough training in the Room of Spirit and Time to make a difference in defeating Black once and for all. Lets hope that Beerus doesn't destroy earth when he sees Trunks or the time machine, and that the Kai of Time is able to help out a little
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