|Reviews for New Game Plus|
| TheGreatBubbaJ chapter 9 . 1/3/2019
Years later and I can still hear Billy's terror.
| TheGreatBubbaJ chapter 8 . 1/3/2019
| TheGreatBubbaJ chapter 7 . 1/3/2019
Good they learn that lesson now rather than later, though sad for the civvies.
| TheGreatBubbaJ chapter 6 . 1/3/2019
Well done, very well done.
| TheGreatBubbaJ chapter 5 . 1/3/2019
You know what the scared Native American camper got called by his snarky grandfather after one particularly stormy night?
| TheGreatBubbaJ chapter 4 . 1/3/2019
Glad Kuro didn't get brought on.
I feel the corset is 'extreme grovelling'.
| TheGreatBubbaJ chapter 3 . 1/3/2019
Here's hoping Buggy gets to pimp out his stump. Make that thing seastone tipped or something when the need for a boost comes up.
| TheGreatBubbaJ chapter 2 . 1/3/2019
Noice, looking forward to it picking up speed.
| TheGreatBubbaJ chapter 1 . 1/3/2019
Wonderful start, full of life and laughter.
| Lord-of Oceans-Poseidon chapter 6 . 1/1/2019
if they're at the level they use to be then luffy is definitely not admiral level.
| Lord-of Oceans-Poseidon chapter 5 . 1/1/2019
no. mihawk can match shanks in a fight of swords when he had both his arms and when he lost one mihawk no longer thought him a challenge in that field. zoro was nowhere near ready for mihawk.
| CyzcK chapter 13 . 12/17/2018
"It had gone from funny to irritating to terrifying and back three or four times by now."
I'm going to have to disagree on this one, it's been irritating the entire time.
It's like you can't go a sentence without mentioning Kaya in a way that makes her seem like the whiniest, most faux-mature character possible. Every time I read her name, I skip like two paragraphs hoping to get back on track. My only respite is when you get to the parts where plot happens and completely forget about her.
I wasn't too happy with her 8 chapters ago, but now I can see it's not going to get better. I'm close, so I'll keep reading for now. But come on. I think you also handled the Buggy/Gun/Jango thing poorly as well, but I don't have a good reason articulated for that.
It's seriously affected my enjoyment of what might otherwise be my favorite One Piece fic.
New Game Plus: 9/10
New Game Plus with childish "relationships": 4/10
I mean it. Five full points.
| CyzcK chapter 5 . 12/16/2018
Comment on Usopp/Kaya:
(Disclaimer, I've only read the first half of this chapter)
(Read the last part if this feels purely like I'm shitting on your story, I intend for this to be constructive criticism)
Honestly, you're playing up the 'protective boyfriend'/'claimed woman' aspect way too much. We get it, they have sex. As far as I'm concerned, the only place it's been appropriately used so far is with Sanji himself. Why don't you try letting Kaya fight some of her own battles, or letting her at least come off as a little bit less haughty?
Frankly, I don't care about their relationship for a few reasons. Mostly though, it's that you've already established it in the story so there's absolutely no need to play it up so far (although you still played it up way too far in the intro). Who or what would be an ACTUAL threat to their relationship? If you want to write this stuff, write a situation where it actually matters. The real impact is (and should as far as I'm concerned) only how it affects Usopp's confidence, Kaya's skills and character development, and the dynamic of the larger crew.
I can already tell you're probably gonna be doing so with Nami/Sanji and Luffy/Boa (maybe Zoro/Tashigi too, haven't read that far yet). Please take it down a notch and focus on the other characters, the pair's non-romantic interactions, rather than rehashing that your characters have sex. Cause, you see, we get it.
If you're writing from an inexperienced perspective, I get it. But that's not the way people act in either One Piece or real life and frankly I don't find it romantic at all.
Besides that, I give the story an 8/10 so far, I'll cover what I liked when I'm caught up.
| Servillius chapter 16 . 12/14/2018
Hope Your mental health works out for You (I have no idea how to really word). Wish You all the best! Loved reading! v
(Last chapter was particularly rushed but I think with depth it'd be great. If You so choose to continue this fanfiction which is awesome and You don't have to) goodluck!
| Servillius chapter 4 . 12/13/2018
I love how long these chapters are as well as all the changes in characters (especially the newly-forged friendships of what-would-have-been enemies). Can't wait to read more! It's really awesome and fun to read. I'll leave
Another review later (probably once I've finished reading everything thus far). Can't wait to read more!