Reviews for The Return
YoshuD chapter 9 . 6/11/2004
I like it. Slightly Au with sailor moon elements, and if i'm not mistaken, some elements of eva (Akagi and Aida a few chaps ago). Please keep writing this fic. it's funny, creepy, kinky, and action packed all in one!
Nemesis chapter 9 . 6/9/2004
Overall, a premise that stands as one of the most unique implementations of the Ranma/SM crossover I've seen since Destiny's Child.

A few comments:

Nariko started out with mom and mother, and only recently is using Mommy continually, despite Akane's comment that Nariko would always be at the "Mommy" level of demonic emotional status.

Ranma didn't bring Nariko to the cursed springs, WIC did.


"having the girls lean on her helped." - helped what? It's not clear if Ranma was still upset or not.

"being protected, by Mother..." - don't need the comma.

"cooperate drones" - I assume you mean corporate drones.

"had to turn these two girls" - 'these' seems quite impersonal.

"it ruined her [Nariko]" - said by Ranma right in front of Nariko - was this intentional?

Just after that, Nabiki talks about Akane - "willingly touch Kuno" - but until that point, Nabiki hasn't been told Nariko was Tatewaki. She's bright, but it might be nice to let the reader know Nabiki put pi and e together properly, and out to enough decimal places.

Also, Ranma uses the level of violet flecks in his eyes to assess his conversion - this is the first time in the fic that this is specifically noted by a character, instead of being hinted at in 3rd person to the reader.


I'm also waiting for Ranma to visit Pluto, perhaps with a demand for an explanation - he has the address - or for Usagi (or perhaps Ami?) to visit Ranma, perhaps to apologize for Pluto's actions.

As a note, I haven't seen any significant martial arts yet - one would think Ranma would practice them, or perhaps practice with the demonic powers and/or the Earth magic Darkstar should have in addition to the demonic powers, particularly after having been manhandled so badly by Ryoga's weaponry.
Hiryo chapter 9 . 6/8/2004
Fianlly an update! I love it to! Only would like to have more of Ranma to see instead of Sunshine... although that is difficult whith being mother and all...
Tamphis chapter 9 . 6/8/2004
Another chapter! Huzzah!

I really like this story, and to be honest, it kinda came out of left field the first time i read it.

Ranma, the Demonic Magical-girl!

Has a nice ring, eh?

Anyway, keep up the good work and update soon, please!

Ja, ne?
Aku-dono chapter 9 . 6/7/2004

That's all I can think of right now. The wait was long, but damn worth it.

Keep it up!

~Akuma-sama, the demon lord
Maximara chapter 9 . 6/7/2004
I like where this is going, however unless Ranma is developing MPD (Multiple Personality Disorder) deside if he is going to call himself Ranma, Sunshine, or DarkStar. Chapter 9 was realy hard to follow as it kept switching back and forth between Sunshine and Ranma.
Kawaii-e chapter 9 . 6/7/2004
It's time for a review, don't know if I allready reviewed, but I have to say, I love this store, I don't know where you came up with the hole company setting, but I like the mix of a good story, and the technical information. You got a great imagination there, and if Burgerbills helping, the better.

And you have good grammar and spelling.

Thanks for the good entertainment and please continue.
A fan chapter 1 . 6/7/2004
Another breath of fresh air! After all the "love conquers all" storylines and enough poor grammar to kill a small child, this story is much better.
Varth chapter 9 . 6/7/2004
I dropped FFN version and went over to FFML to read this - it's pain to read without line breaks.
darkwoofe chapter 9 . 6/7/2004
Cool! Up until this chapter I didn't really like Kasami, but she's turning out to be pretty cool after all. I'm glad you got rid of Kuno's old personality too. I'm really hoping that Ranma and the Senshi don't end up fighting each other 'cause I was kinda hopeing for a Ranma/Usagi match, but I'm not too sure who I want now. Anyway, the only complaint I have is that there isn't enough Nabiki! Great story, I'm looking forward to the next chapter.
Brother Angelon chapter 9 . 6/6/2004
I really enjoyed Chapter 9, the interaction between Ranma, Akane, and Nariko was very nice.

I am wondering about the level of strength that Ranma's two children are at now tho. Also is it possible for Ranma to grow stronger and if so how long would it take.

Brother Angelon
sopchoppy chapter 9 . 6/6/2004
Great Story so far, I have really enjoyed it and always paitaintly await the next installments of it. Thanks for updating

ranger5 chapter 9 . 6/6/2004
wow... another really good chapter. Lots of character growth and interaction. Lots of exploring the "new" relationships. I also like the "slow" way Ranma and Kasumi's relationship is changing.

Keep it up. Hopefully next chapter of my fic will be done if a week or so for you to take a look at.
reader chapter 8 . 5/6/2004
This series is very good! The Akane thing was a good idea. Where can I read the rest of the arc?
reader chapter 8 . 5/6/2004
This is a really good series! When can I read the rest of the arc?
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