Reviews for On the Run
Guest chapter 1 . 10/24/2016
Man, even the previews for your "books" on Amazon aren't properly edited. I spotted at least 4 mistakes in that 1 page preview that was provided.

Hope this helps any future readers from wasting their $$$.
Guest chapter 28 . 10/24/2016
I just checked out Amazon, and there's no real "sequel." It looks like it's just this story, split into two "books" (the first half of this story is "Book One" and the second half is "Book Two").

The word count isn't even very different, so it's not like you even expanded anything.

What a rip-off artist you're trying to be!
Guest chapter 27 . 10/24/2016
So...who was "On the Run" in this story? The title makes no sense.
Guest chapter 28 . 10/24/2016
Seriously? Someone was willing to publish this crap? It's pretty bad enough to read for free, but to charge people for it? I really hope it went through MAJOR editing.

But I guess if you're getting $$$ for this tripe, good on you! Feel sorry for the suckers who waste their cash, though.
Guest chapter 25 . 10/24/2016
Did you mean for the title of this chapter to be "recuperating," as in recovering from an illness or injury?

Or is it re-cooperate, as in Bella is going to AGAIN COOPERATE with whatever her kidnapper wants of her?

And let the injured man sleep on the couch! hahahaha! nice!

Truly, your lemons could be the sexiest writings on the planet, but their situation is so repugnant to me, I don't read them because all I can imagine is brainwashed, pitiful Bella with no-one else besides her kidnapper. Doesn't equal sexytimes, IMO.
Guest chapter 24 . 10/24/2016
"Did I redeem myself yet?"

Redeem yourself from getting me deeply involved in the first place? Taking a bullet from a widow who only knew me because of the pictures YOU took of me?

"Oh, Edward! You're so good looking! And I have so little value in myself as a human being! There's NOTHING to redeem! Of course everything is peachy keen!"
Guest chapter 23 . 10/24/2016
Uh, he must have had a LOT of money. A LOT. A LOT. A LOT. To afford everything he bought. I'm not quite sure how much money you think it costs to buy up waterfront property, create a restaurant from scratch, and maintain it. But, I don't think it's close to what you're imagining.

And what would Edward's parents think of Edward's revenge plans? I like how all of that is swept under the rug, because it's in the past and therefore doesn't matter! As long as our main characters are happily in love! It doesn't matter how they got there!
Guest chapter 22 . 10/24/2016
She should have told Carlisle how Edward smacked her back! How is this romantic? It's so disgusting, but like I train wreck...I need to watch. Ugh.
Guest chapter 21 . 10/24/2016
Huh...I would have thought Edward had NO ONE after his parents died with the way he acted.

He was just this normal guy until his parents were killed, then he gets his vengeance, and then he's back to normal? Really?

Killing multiple people is doing nothing to his soul? He can just go back to being an everyday guy? No guilt? No nightmares? No remorse? What a deeply layered story you have written (snort)
Guest chapter 20 . 10/24/2016
God, she's such a pushover. You just have to be a certain level of attractiveness to Bella, and she's all yours.

I'm just surprised that she's not all,"what does someone like HIM see in plain, little, ol' lowly me?"
Guest chapter 19 . 10/24/2016
It is clear that she has no sense of self worth. The woman has no friends and clings to Edward's twisted sense of love.

I do realize that in the overall scheme of your story, Bella is a victim, through and through. I just wish she had some self esteem so I could root for her. She's pitiful.
Guest chapter 18 . 10/24/2016
Why should she fell guilty for getting Mrs. Benucci off her back? It's because of Edward that it got that far, with all the sexy pictures, etc. She doesn't owe Edward anything!

I'm beginning to hate Bella again. No, wait. Not beginning. I think I've always disliked her. She starts to redeem herself, and then she goes back to being completely unlikable again.
Guest chapter 17 . 10/24/2016
They are gross. How can anyone want them together?
Guest chapter 16 . 10/24/2016
Hahahahahahahahahahahahaaaaaaaa! Yes!

But, then I suppose this is the means of Edward getting back into her life. Ugh.

Edward had a lot of nerve.

You make me swing back and forth on which character I dislike most. Right now, it's Edward. But when she takes him back, I'm going to go back hating Bella with a passion.
Guest chapter 15 . 10/24/2016
He didn't think Benny would hurt her "like that"? $hit, I figured Benny would have raped her right away! So, Edward is a big idiot, too. The Bella in this chapter is a little better, at least. Glad she's finally standing up for herself and making some sense.
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