Reviews for The Shortening of Time
Rayless Night chapter 1 . 9/2/2012
On one hand, I feel ridiculous reviewing a decade-old fic on a dead account. On the other, this is an Elza fic, and very well written, and I hate not to acknowledge it. And maybe this will help someone who's browsing in the future decide whether they want to read it.

As for crits, I think this could be tighter. The hunting scene, as well as some of the training bits, are well written and help develop the Clive/Elza/Kelley friendship, but they feel less focused. The "No. This place is worse." seems unnecessarily melodramatic.

As for praise, despite the short length, I did get a feel for each character's personality and their closeness. The way Elza cries but nevertheless keeps her balance says a lot to me - how she's in an environment where she feels deeply, but she has no choice but to go on. I also see this in the way they're being trained to kill one hour, and the next sees them eating tarts and goofing around.

The central image is also very good, Elza and Clive having "hooks" in each other. "Don't waste time building elaborate schemes to trap the target; let them betray themselves." neatly foreshadows the end of the Clive Quest, where a long chase comes down to a duel.

Finally, that last scene. While part of me wants to fault it for the gun-in-mouth melodrama, Elza's businesslike practicality as she cleans her weapons cuts against that. The language is careful, sensual, and very disturbing. It shows how Elza has conflated her guns, Clive, and death, and the way she's playing fast and loose with all three of them.
nik chapter 1 . 11/28/2002
Elza was always one of my favorites, too. I always liked Clive as well...

I knew about Elza/Kelly/Clive to a greater detail thanks to suikosource's specs on those particular characters, so I think I got a better gist of their story. But anyone who gives Suikoden any kind of thought has to place Clive (at least) in some kind of ugly place that would make him lose his emotions-to those who don't know him, anyway.

Anyway, I thought it was a really nice piece. Elza's thoughts at the end kind of chilled me. I don't know-going from the happier times spent with her lovers to the very end when she's got the guns...it's tragic. Of course, the reader doesn't know if she pulls the trigger or not. I kind of hope she doesn't, but then it isn't as good that way.

Thank you for sharing this.
SaturnOolaa chapter 1 . 11/3/2002
Huh huh huh guns huh huh huh. That was the best and one of the only Howling Voice fics I've ever read. Wow.
Princess Iria chapter 1 . 11/3/2002
great job! too bad i'm too slow to ever complete clive's quest...he's still looking for her in my game. you did the characters well, even if i don't know them too well, i liked the way you did clive. well keep writing fics and i'll be sure to keep checking them out.