Reviews for Harry Potter and the Lord of Immortality
darkpheonix31 chapter 17 . 10/3
As much as i like the relationship that you're building with Ginny and Harry, there are many times when i think you've created too much of an ideal and not quite a realistic character in Ginny. Any time Harry is truly upset Ginny knows exactly what to say and yes, Ginny has had the experience with the diary to fall back on but even still, it begs the question of how does this 15 year old girl truly understand the intracties of war?
Personally i think she would be more surprised when Harry confesses to killing people. Not because she necessarily thinks its wrong, I don't think she would nor would she judge Harry for it. But the fact remains, Ginny has still lived a fairly sheltered life and her calm acceptance of everything tht comes Harry's way is a bit too good to be true. Just as Harry's total exclusion of talking about anything with Abby is overly simplistic. I understand that Harry is with her as an "escape" and i think its very in character for Harry to want a bit of normalcy only to discover over time that it isn't possible for him. At the same time, Harry spends literally hours training, what does Abby think he's doing all this time? The writing is good but as much as you've paced the timing well with Harry and Ginny, you have forced it other ways. The fights are one thing but have one of them truly mess up. Romance is hard enough for teens but add in a war (particularly with Harrys role) and it's hard to know what to do.
darkpheonix31 chapter 9 . 10/1
I love it!. I absolutely think that Dumbledore was wrong to send Harry on a mission without his knowledge and yet at the same tine i can understand why he would do it. I also really like Harry's reaction to it all. I think that Harry will eventually come to understand what Dumbledore did but i don't think its something he'll ever thank him for. This is a deep betrayal of trust and i'm interested to see where their relationship goes from here.
Also great writing with the stealth missions, they are orignal and unique with great descriptions
darkpheonix31 chapter 8 . 10/1
I'm really loving this story. Good call having Harry talk to Ron before Ginny about the prophesy, i've seen a couple of other stories do it that way and you're right it feels incredibly forced and out of character. I really like the romance that you have with Harry/Ginny because it builds realistically. So many fics (and quite frankly canon to an extent) have Harry's feelings come out of no where and suddenly Ginny is the "only person he could possibly talk to" which is not only limiting to a person but a juvenile idea of what a relationship should be.
I also really like what you've done with Sirius and the training regime. You have a nice balance of tough training but a caring Sirius and a fun summer. Harry isn't suddenly awesome (though does seem to learn a lot faster than in canon but not unbelievably so) and he hasn't become obsessive about training to the exclusion of all else. I do have a slight criticism about Sirius' love interest. While he most certainly deserves one and i'm glad its in the story, i can't help but wonder why Sirius isn't more upset with her for 12 years of betrayal. Because that's what it really is. I can't really blame you for it because that seems to be the theme for Sirius- he fought in this brotherhood of fighters that were dedicated to stopping Voldemort and then they all collectively abandoned him. No trial, no visit, no question of why Sirius would turn on his beat friend. I can see that Sirius appatently hurt Sarah before supposedly becoming a murderer but i'm always hestitant when reading fics to trust any relationship that Sirius was supposed to have had before Azkaban because if you can think so poorly of someone, do really love them? But i really do love this story. The characters are great so don't take my own opinion on Sirius/Sarah to heart
Just William chapter 25 . 7/20
It would be very nice to be treated to a long overdue update to this quite fascinating and well thought out story but alas, I don't think it will happen. My only criticism of this story is the American way of spelling things! As a Brit it pains me to see "mom" when it should be "mum".
luke1572 chapter 25 . 2/18
This is probably my favourite fanfiction, can't wait for the next chapter!
Dobby99 chapter 25 . 2/15
Oh my God. I love this fanfiction soo much! :3 Please update soon, this is really great! I love Harry and Ginny's whole relationship from the beginning till now, you did a very good job building it :3 And there is a good mix of action and romance, I love it! Please please please update, I can't wait to read more! Sorry for my grammar btw, I'm German and it probably sucks xD
Guest chapter 25 . 2/15
Well done! Waiting for the next chapter! hehe
DameEsmeralda chapter 25 . 1/14
This is by far one of my favorite fanfics! I love the dynamic between Harry and Dumbledore. Harry and Ginny are also fantastic...please keep the updates coming! I've followed, so I'm looking forward to them in my inbox! :)
Guest chapter 25 . 1/1
Wow! Amazing HG. Already anticipating the next chapter. Awesome stuff!
Peter chapter 25 . 12/22/2016
Thanks 4 the update, i read the sorry last year, and i've just found out that u still update it. It's such an awesome story, so thx 4 it. I'm really looking for the next update, thanks. :D
Guest chapter 25 . 12/8/2016
Dude! Amazing story man! I like it so much. Can't wait for more.
The One True Nobody chapter 25 . 11/10/2016
Well, okay, I've gotten to the end of what's here now, so current thoughts. The writing is pretty nice, the reliance on tired fanon contrivances is a constant strain on enjoyment to anyone who considers them tired contrivances (which they are, by and large an excuse for fanfiction writers not to bother thinking about canon as it exists while simultaneously turning the core mechanics of Potterverse into Dragon Ball Z power level games), and an overriding thought floating about my head throughout the entire story is that there has to be a more interesting way to write a "powerful Harry" storyline than turning him into a super-charming dude who is both super attractive (a trait Harry never possessed, apart from good skin), and Magical Jedi Batman. The sole saving grace is the writing quality, which is far and above the usual magical emancipation character-bashing tripe that it may as well shine like a beacon against the backdrop of this website. So it has been enjoyable enough.

This being said, you still fall into the fanfic writer's trap of boiling characters down to their basest components or dwelling on the same overdone analysis of character motivation that the Harry Potter fanfiction drills into the ground on a bi-hourly basis, which translates into a huge lack of originality. I appreciate that Dumbledore is written in an actually kind of multifaceted light here, that Ron is not totally useless and also not a hopelessly jealous prat, and that Draco Malfoy is portrayed with some level of depth to him, and most of all that Harry is allowed to have some flaws in spite of the super-well-trained-powerful-warrior angle, which is as rare as good grammar in stories that follow that angle. I appreciate less that the flaws Harry is allowed to have are less interesting than his flaws in canon. I don't particularly like the whole thing with Magic as an actual entity with consciousness who favors the Light. I don't like the "Leader of the Light" concept at all, nor the fact that Light has to be named and set apart as a specific counter to Dark. All of that feels like a cliche contrivance. But there are some good ideas in here as well.

I'm usually ambivalent toward Potter fanon tossing Veritaserum around like an infallible answer to all the world's justice-related woes, so the concept of deliberately building immunity and being able to lie under its assumed influence is one that I love, and in fact that whole scene and the lead-in to it was brilliant. I also don't like fanon tossing around Pensieve memories like Skittles the same way it wields Veritaserum, but the memory vault concept was well thought-out and it lent itself incredibly well to both the main plot (via Lucius's memory) and the sexual tension between Harry and Ginny. I also like the way Ginny is handled in general, granted there isn't a whole lot to work with when it comes to her thanks to the novels' stylistic choice of sticking strictly to Harry's perspective for the majority of the plot. I appreciate seeing concepts taken from actual canon explored and expanded upon rather than treated as if common fanon contrivance is an improvement on them, so the way Ginny's side of the relationship and her relationship with Dean (which lasted longer into the story than I expected it to) were interesting to read about. Was less interested in the oculin bits, since "love interest being wonderful at singing/music" is about as overused as a princess locked in a tower, but that was at least attached to an interesting concept for a magical music instrument that I liked for it originality.

I felt the relationship between Harry and Abby was interesting but underplayed, and I like Sarah and was surprised she was killed off before her Detector ability could really factor into much besides her interactions with Sirius. I feel there's a missed opportunity there, since there was an interesting window for Harry to interact with someone from whom he could not effectively hide his feelings even though it doesn't seem in-character for him to truly distance himself from such a person.

One place where this story unreservedly drops the ball is Voldemort and his Death Eaters, all of whom besides Lucius and Draco display a surprising lack of both depth and confidence (although I enjoyed Mr. Goyle's scene for different reasons) that makes it difficult to believe they can fight a war at all, which in turn makes it feel like the massive attacks they keep mounting are just them pulling an occasional army out of their collective backside because the plot demands they must do so on occasion. In this area the story feels incredibly forced, and while Half-Blood Prince is not my favorite entry in the canon series, I will say I prefer the uncertain tension of being kept in the dark about the specifics of the war to the awkward stiffness of "this is a war, so we must meet a quota of actual on-screen battles." That is not to say that all of the action in this story is bad, just that the overall direction makes it hard to care who wins outside of the scenes that specifically shine above the rest, such as the Shrieking Shack Veritaserum scene or the occasions on which Harry went on solo missions (or was tricked into one).

It sometimes feels like this story can't decide whether to be a heroic power fantasy or an interesting dramatic plot, and make no mistake, those *are* mutually-exclusive concepts. The former relies on certainty that the hero will overcome opposition, the latter relies on uncertainty of that very thing. To balance elements of the former with a backbone of the latter, as this story seems to be trying to do, is a delicate thing. That's probably why the canon series played less to power and more to the characters trying and eventually succeeding to figure things out, ending up more of a mystery-like story than an action one. It's hard to blend empowerment with disempowerment, and a shaky portrayal on the villains' side is probably the worst thing for that-an empowered hero requires an almost equally-empowered antagonist for a sense of disempowerment to ever take hold, but the best crack at that this story has tried for was not disempowerment in the face of opposition, but Harry suddenly not having the guidance of his Magical MacGuffin Goddess Entity thing, which wasn't even handled in a way that was as interesting for Harry as it was for Dumbledore.

I like this enough to keep an eye on it, but my problems are many and I hope you'll consider them seriously. Good luck with the next chapter, regardless.
The One True Nobody chapter 11 . 11/10/2016
A few odd logical things in this chapter bug me. One, why was the Transfiguration professor crossing her lesson over into both Defense Against the Dark Arts and Charms? And two, you described a canon magical Transfiguration technique with your "third form of summoning." It's actually called "Conjuration." You should look it up on the Harry Potter Wiki. There's a lot more solid material to work with in canon magical mechanics then there is in that fanon-based "magical core" nonsense.
The One True Nobody chapter 2 . 11/10/2016
I have only one problem so far and it is Dumbledore's careless mention of Grimmauld Place out in the open. If anyone had been listening-say, under an Invisibility Cloak-this may have constituted giving away the Secret of the Order's headquarters. That is not one hundred percent certain (it might be necessary to clearly state "The headquarters of the Order of the Phoenix is at this specific address") but I feel Dumbledore would say "headquarters" to keep it unidentifiable. This is a pertinent thing to mention since Death Eaters were in fact hiding nearby at the time and announcing potential destinations out in the open is unwise-the house is the only thing protected by a Secret Keeper, and presumably, the street around it is still unsafe for members of the Order should the Death Eaters see it as a location to stake out.
purpleradiance chapter 1 . 11/5/2016
I usually never read these fics because of the sheer amount of character bashing in them. But your story has me hooked! Can't wait to read on
301 | Page 1 2 3 4 11 .. Last Next »