Reviews for Alpha Queen
loretta537 chapter 8 . 12/12/2015
i really miss this story and hope you can update it soon
Wizzrobe chapter 8 . 11/7/2015
It was a blast reading this and the concept (Diclonii are a mutation of magicals/Fae) is great. There really should be more Lupus as a father stories out there on . Wonderful execution of the story.
Akuma-Heika chapter 1 . 11/7/2015
how did they track her so much faster when she never killed the orphanage? how did they track her to England?
Laxard chapter 8 . 11/2/2015
I honestly had not expected this story to be good, but it is. Even if i generaly don't like fast paced ones.
SonicAnime2010 chapter 8 . 10/29/2015
This story could definitely use some updating, I really can't wait to see what happens next.. Likin the story so far too as it does paint a different light to the Diclonius
SonicAnime2010 chapter 1 . 10/29/2015
Picturing Kaede/Lucy use her vectors to perform the equivalent of a Gibbs-slap is hilarious enough.. then for pranks.. oh golden.
Macro And Micro chapter 8 . 9/14/2015
Continue this Please. It is good. Though you do have a bad habit of mixing up Lucy and Kaede. Is she one or the other?
deathgeonous chapter 1 . 9/4/2015
You know, this fic is just too unique to not continue at some point. Especially since you just got to the point of explaining some of the more deeper plot. Well, thanks for writing this, and bye for now.
Straider chapter 8 . 8/5/2015
Nice fanfic. Its good to see that Lucy has finally received a rare decent childhood.
LuneDelCielo chapter 8 . 7/29/2015
Gosh, I love this please continue this story it's so awesome :)
Noitaerc chapter 8 . 7/25/2015
Idea that got into my head when I reread this story... After Harry and Kaede lost their virginity to each other, the other side of Kaede take over and demand for her turn. Harry is quite lost, wondering what the hell just happened.
ayleid chapter 3 . 6/23/2015
I gave as good a try as I could, but I am stopping at chapter 3.
Which is a damn shame, because the premise of this story was so interesting! Diclonii as magical children, the queen's virus potentially unlocking magic, werewolves cowering before the alpha, Lucy as Harry's bodyguard...
The potential was great, but in the end I could not stand the cliche carnival. I will try to explain my reasoning so that you can make your next brainwave work, I believe in you!

Many authors before have taken for granted that a couple additional elements would fix the whole HPverse. It is common to view Ron as a jealous and brutish prat, and to view Dumbledore as a manipulative meddler.
However, things are not as simple as that. The magical society is exactly that, a society; with rules, traditions, power struggles, laws and lore... and it is also an ass-backwards one, because waving a wand to solve all problems is not conducive to critical thinking and enlightenment.
And Dumbledore in this environment scares people. It is canon that he was a hair's breadth from becoming Grindenwald. He tries to do the best he can, but wizards as a whole are set in their way. Consider the Weasleys: even mr Weasley, the one most interested in muggle stuff, completely ignores muggle way of thinking (that is, logic) to go straight to gadgets and machines, and never thinks about it becoming more than a hobby. Whenever Dumbledore tries to inspire constructive action in that whole mess, people resist kicking and screaming. So, to avoid being seem as a meddler, as Less Wrong explained, he lets loose his (partly) obfuscative madness. Really, having people indulge him is easier than threatening what passes as common sense for wizards to get them to get off their asses.
So, how does that tie in to my problems with this story?
It's really about common sense and power struggles.
The most important point I am trying to make is that Dumbledore actually did the right thing with Harry. Remember the Longbottoms: they were tortured to death mostly because Crouch jr and co wanted to find Harry! I believe that even if we discount the blood wards, the fact that Harry was sheltered in a muggle house out of sight of magical society was a big factor in Harry being able to celebrate his second birthday, however inexistent the party was. In Deathly Hallows, we see that half of Voldemort's Death Eaters were waiting around Privet Drive, yet did not attack until Harry tried to make his escape with the Order. All in all, I think we can consider that the blood wards had been an unmatcheable protection.
Do the Dursleys' abuse pose a different kind of threat to Harry? Indeed. Yet, Lupin's con will not hold fast when the Prophet gets interested in Harry. And for wizards, it is common knowledge that werewolves should not be let anywhere near children. When that goes public, it will happen basically what would have happened if Dumbledore had not gone with the Petunia solution after Riddle's first death: a great race to get custody of him. And even if Malfoy does not buy half the Wizenmagot to win it, the winning family will be a prime target for Death Eaters. If Dumbledore took too much of an interest, such as regularly threatening the Dursleys or putting his foot down to decide Harry's fate, he would be put under scrutiny and accused either of favoritism or of making a power play.
Dumbledore does have reason to be concerned with Harry ending up anywhere else than in 4, Privet Drive. The place affords the best protection against life-threatening external danger, even if it is a psychological hazard, while being a status quo easy to make wizarding society accept. Lucy is an important factor, but discounting her what Lupin did here would be extremely foolish and short-sighted.
That's about it about the precariousness of Dumbledore's protection and the blood wards. The rest is just details.
Ron: he is mostly bitter against Harry during early teenage years (books 4-5), which JKR has said herself was mostly hormonal. He usually displays some real qualities as a friend. Painting him as simply a "jealous idiot" does not make him justice, though it is an unavoidable part of his character.
Sirius: Lupin would clam up about him, it is shown in PoA that he is partly in denial about his previous association with him. Even if he had talked about him to Lucy, which is a long shot but not altogether impossible, Azkaban is not in any shape or form the kind of place you would want minors to visit. He would never knowingly let dementors approach a child he felt close enough with that he opened his heart to this extent to them. That and a couple over details make Sirius' escape one of the most contrived I have read in fanfiction. The less I speak about Flitwick's (who knew for a fact Sirius was the Secret Keeper) reaction the better.

All in all, the premise was great and it started out well, with a strong message and the potential for great hijinks. Then it got painful.
Better luck next time, but keep on writing!
T51b Moridin chapter 8 . 6/16/2015
Ah malfoy being a dipshit and going to their car or something. Not surprising. Adorable again. I like that Luna is getting some good recognition here. Its a nice change to be sure.
T51b Moridin chapter 7 . 6/16/2015
I'm just glad that didn't end in blood shed. Would suck honestly. Diclonius are just poor kids with a mean streak a mile wide.
T51b Moridin chapter 6 . 6/16/2015
This has been an adventure. And honestly a happy Diclonius is rather adorable.
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