Reviews for One Evening
Luzi22 chapter 1 . 11/17/2017
That was one beautiful one shot
Should you ever continue this I would love to read it
mythaeology chapter 1 . 11/9/2016
My heart hurts.
LeonaMasha chapter 1 . 9/1/2014
Goodness. I'm all teary. Bittersweet yet also beautiful. Thanks
Ice Demon Ranger chapter 1 . 9/1/2014
Good short.
articcat621 chapter 1 . 7/13/2014
This was absolutely lovely. XX
Marion Hood chapter 1 . 7/6/2014
It's brilliant!
angel897 chapter 1 . 6/25/2014
like it love to read a sequel to it
MorgannaLeFae chapter 1 . 6/24/2014
That was... really beautiful.
A stolen moment.
truthsetfree chapter 1 . 6/24/2014
I just don't like the word choice of "haunt" in the third sentence. It doesn't do anything. Not for me anyway. It jumps out as dated, and because it jumps out, I expect it to go somewhere, to become part of a larger literary device or something.

I also don't like the second to last sentence in that paragraph. I had to read it a couple times before I got it, but that's not why I don't like it. It throws the rhythm off somehow. If you added more to it, I think I'd like it better. I'd be OK if you took out the last two sentences in that paragraph in fact.

The first sentence of the third paragraph needs to be changed or "neighboring nightclub" needs to be changed to "neighboring disco." Please don't change "neighboring nightclub" to "neighboring disco." I like the way "neighboring nightclub" sounds.

The nightclub itself is well portrayed. Great job there.

There's a spacing issue with "it's inexplicable, so to the average mind, it might as well be magic."

I would prefer that "swaying humanity" were "swaying bodies."

The characterization is excellent.
The dialogue is awesome.
Nice job painting the scenes.
Great job shifting the scenes.
Great job with pacing.
Strong emotions.
Subtle implications.
Very well thought out.
Awesome arc.