|Reviews for When The Wolf Calls|
| Guest chapter 5 . 1/24/2017
LOVE LOVE LOVE. More please :)
| Hello there chapter 5 . 11/25/2015
This is just perfect. Well-written with the characterisation SPOT ON. This is EXACTLY how both characters would react to this situation if it arose in Death Note. The way you structured it stirred up a shit ton of pathos. Honestly my favourite LightxL fic, good job m8.
| Kaizen Kitty chapter 2 . 3/1/2015
And I generally don't buy it that Light likes L purely based on physical attraction. Like you mentioned in your fic, it doesn't make sense. Light has dated far more attractive people in the past. L is not very good looking. And Light is not prone to pitying anyone: canonLight cared only for himself and was quite merciless to his victims. So the thing with L looking like an owl chick really doesn't strike me as realistic.
I could see Light falling for L because of L's personality, because of L's mind, but I don't see Light falling for L because of L's looks. Same for L. Yes, I get that they're supposed to be gay in this fic, but canonL is straight (he had the hots for Misa), so I'd really appreciate it if you showed L falling for Light because of Light's friendly, sociable personality...not because of how 'kawaii' Light looks. That simply doesn't make sense - it would only work if Light were a girl, and Light is most definitely not a girl.
Give them a reason to feel attracted to each other. A reason that surpasses sexual impulse. Let them meet each other intellectually, appreciate each other, and then let the sexual impulse take over. This just feels like insta love and doesn't feel like them in the slightest. Even though I adore your writing style, the way you knit words together. The plot could use a lot of work.
Light secretly touching L still seems in-character.
But the subsequent dialogue between them feels very OOC, and then Light mounting L and suddenly kissing him out of the blue... Why? If Light knows he is Kira, then L is his enemy. An enemy he plans to destroy. I guess I really don't see where all the lovey dovey feels are coming from all of a sudden.
And even if he did feel that way, Light never looses control over his own body. At least canonLight didn't.
Okay, I will admit the line "Did I share one cake slice too many?" is hilarious, but it still doesn't help this fic look realistic, thus shattering my willing suspense of disbelief.
And may I ask: why the cigarettes? Is that your personal fetish? Light and L don't smoke in canon.
| Kaizen Kitty chapter 1 . 3/1/2015
What should I say...
This is definitely well written. A minimum of words used to describe the whole scene vividly. That's definitely something I like. And I would say L and Light are both more or less in character (despite the little exaggerations you've made for comedy's sake).
I find Light's obsession with shampoo products and the facial scrub thing too egged on. Yes, Light takes care of how he looks, but I don't find it at all believable that canonLight would have three different types of shampoo. Sure, when you're writing yaoi for a cast that isn't originally gay, you are going to break characterization. It's inevitable. But you can try doing it subtly, like make the OOCness not stand out too much. You have actually tried to draw attention to it in order to evoke a humorous response. Well, that doesn't work for me. (I also find it hard to believe that L doesn't sleep for 48 hours straight. That is simply impossible. No human being can do that on a regular basis. I think canonL does sleep, but he sleeps very little, like 4 or 5 hours per night. And I imagine he sleeps during daytime, keeps irregular hours. But not sleeping at all? Bull.)
Then I've got an issue with the plot. It's not really moving anywhere. They're just sitting and thinking about each other. That can be interesting for a while, but then the plot must move on. Something needs to happen. You've mentioned Light's hands itch to comb L's hair. So why doesn't he do that? Let Light comb L's hair, let him take action. Now it becomes interesting. How will L respond?
| Sly the gratsulover117 chapter 5 . 7/23/2014
I really want them to love each other
| viramyst chapter 5 . 7/22/2014
I. Cannot. Emphasize. How. Good. Your. Writing. Is.
You have the perfect amount of subtlety to execute this story. It is different from other chain arc fics, and it is superbly done. I would write more in a review, but I've got no suggestions to make.
Thank you for writing, and looking forward to your resolution!
| Zer chapter 4 . 7/20/2014
Addictive story! Please update the next chapter soon as I am reading through this story for the 3rd time :O I'm liking it and curious to see where it goes :)
| Anon chapter 2 . 7/5/2014
An interesting take! It's pretty good so far.
| Deathnotelover62 chapter 1 . 6/27/2014
I really liked this! Like..how the beginning and ending were the same. Kinda cute too _