*leans forward in seat, eyebrow quirked in interest* Go on...

This story was awesome!

That last bit of the Grimm's thoughts has got me so pumped I might accidentally read this whole story iin one day. This is so good and only promises to get better.

I'm enjoying this story, and it's stayed consistently written well, but there's something kind of boring about it. I can't put my finger on it what it is.

I was very skeptical of this at first with how OOC everyone was. I'm glad I gave it a chance though, and I like where it's going a lot. It's written well!

Bitch move Ruby. That dude defended you, and you cold blooded executed him. Damn, not cool. The girl was mean, but still, she was just being cautious.

Man, hope Yang and Jaune find her quick, cause DAMN, that was creepy. Like seriously, bumming me out man. Poor Ruby. Also, Lol, poor Pyrrha, gets a boyfriend, boyfriend immediately goes on a long extended trip with a hot blonde. "Oh no, nothing's going on here! We're just friends...who comfort each other over what happened to Ruby... How? Well..." Pyrrha just can't win.

i liked this story, it was believable through the whole time and while seemed rushed at times you did a brilliant job pulling everything together. my only real complaint was that the gauntlets that ruby made never really did anything and so was a bit useless, but otherwise this was good.

Holy...Very well written. You may think of yourself as not good with suspense and psychological stuff, but YOU NAILED IT DUDE! One of the best I've read. Started on the sequel, and I already think that it is going to be just as good as the red queen. Keep going, you're on the right path:3

wow

My names the same as the wihte beowulf.

does anyone know where to get that cover art?

hen I started this chapter I knew what was gonna happen. Aww yea.

Let the Hunt begin.

I haven't checked if you're still active on here, since it's been almost two years since you finished this, but I'm going to wing it and review anyway in the hope it'll get back to you.

I really enjoyed this. Despite my distaste for 'various members of Ruby's classmates including Weiss and/or Blake attempt to murder her out of jealousy' stories, because I just can't see them panning out given what we know about the characters of those in the series, I was able to put that bias aside and actually enjoy most of this and even get behind the original premise. One of my main problems with those stories is that I can't see Blake as being someone who would be jealous to begin with, or would want to kill someone in cold blood (at least, someone who hadn't committed atrocities against her kind) - so I was pleased to see she was the person who truly regretted what they'd done.

I'm also fond of your writing style. It's a little dramatic in places, at least for my tastes, but it's very ordered and there were few instances where I found that I couldn't understand what was going on. Your descriptions are good, often detailed enough to paint a picture but not detracting from the pace of important scenes. The dialogue is also pretty good, if a bit awkward or odd in some situations.

I figure you must be a pretty big fan of Alice (or maybe Lewis Carroll in general) because a good portion of Ruby's Red Queen persona seems to be inspired by the books, and you even directly referenced Alice in that one canon-not-canon chapter around halfway through. I also got the feeling the references to Ruby's Godspeed (as well as a lot of the aura mechanics in general) were inspired by Hunter x Hunter - although it's harder to say either way with that one since some of the ideas and principles of aura in the actual RWBY already seem to be inspired by the HxH series. I'm not sure if Monty was a fan or I'm reading too much into a few coincidences there.

Anyway;
Overall, I'm just a massive sucker for badass murderer Ruby, and will I'm kinda sad about a few of the Grimm dying (didn't really care for the Nevermores, Ursas, Boarbatusks or Deathstalkers, but I liked Checkmate and the Goliaths as well as the Beowolf pack) I'm super glad Dinah didn't get killed in the end cause she was my problematic fave. I'm assuming (and hoping) she'll be in the sequel. Also hoping that's either finished or still in progress because I'm too fragile to have my heart broken by another unfinished series. :(

Thanks for the enjoyable read, and the excuse to stay up until 6am reading and probably sleep through my meeting tomorrow morning. I hope even if you aren't checking this site much anymore this somehow gets to you, because I really liked the story!

8

Pains me to know that if I had gotten hooked to RWBY sooner, I would've gotten to know the man better, the mastermind behind the world in which creatures run rampant and everything is a gun.
His legacy lives on. 2 years later, people continue to grieve. Rest In Peace, Monty Oum.