|Reviews for My Independence Day|
| LadyRaider92 chapter 1 . 12/16/2014
LOVE IT, LOVE IT, LOVE IT. This was awesome and cutie one-shot. :)
| Startistica chapter 1 . 7/16/2014
I really liked the descriptions you used in this fic, especially when Anzu and Atem saw each other. The only suggestions I have is to be a little more careful with your tenses and grammar.
| My Pharaoh's Keeper chapter 1 . 7/13/2014
Aw! I like it!
| bonjoviluvr23 chapter 1 . 7/12/2014
The story overall is a great interpretation of what would have happned had there been a continuation to the end of Season Five of the First Arc of the Yu-Gi-Oh! series.
As I was reading, I felt and envisioned right off the bat, of the surroundings of the setting where the main protagonist was seeing through his perspective in my imagination.
Though there wasn't too many words Describing it - the memory of the anime appeared in my mind and I based it off of that.
Reading through, I noticeed a couple of moments of Great Intense feeling and then suddenly being segawayed into a moment of comic relief - which I find Genius in creative writing. I truly appreciate that! :)
If I had to make som critiques on this piece - I'd have to say that there were some punctuational errors & very few spelling errors.
Also, (now this is just My opinion) I would have loved to see more descriptive adjectives to the story - for instance on how Joey and Tristan appeared into the scene - their appearance. I mean, after all - it has been a long tim sinc the cermonial duel. I understand that they weren't the main characters of the story, but they are just as important.
Also more description focusing more on Both Anzu and Atem's physical traits (hair, skin, eyes) and their second kiss. (The first kiss was described well. Its just that the second (to me) needed more 'umpf' per se. More passion into it. It was said that Anzu just wanted to give more of herself to Atem, so why not? ( x:D)
(I ReALLY like detailed descriptions in characters as well as their actions - MORE SO in moments like This. But that's just My opinion)
The heated moment where Anzu and Atem had just before their kiss was well-executed. (You really pulled my heart-strings there! XP)
I truely felt the moment slowly escalading, drawing my hazy eyes to the moment I had been hoping for, making me fan-girl like mad once I had arrived at its peak.
The ending wasn't bad at All. If fact - its just what needed to be done. Atem's spirit is depressed and what was th solution to pull him out of his state of mind? Anzu and dueling again. It was a Grat way to wrap things up.
And with that - I conclude this review.
Thank you So much for taking me on this emotional and vivid journey and I hope to embark on more in the near future
| iloveyugiohGX93 chapter 1 . 7/11/2014
I like it.