|Reviews for No Lords, No Masters|
| Mr. Salt chapter 5 . 5/7/2015
On the job!
Kind of funny to think of contracts being weird in a political military system the sith use.
| Mr. Salt chapter 4 . 5/7/2015
Syrosk secretly likes the attention. Who can resist a Lorrik hug?
I'm trying to picture a Lego set in Star Wars, that would be awesome.
| Mr. Salt chapter 3 . 5/7/2015
Jresh and Lorrik, hunters for hire. Got an office an everything. Reminds me of the start of Daredevil when the two are just starting cup a law firm, no clients, no desks, no anything.
Do I detect hints of Lorrik having a dislike for droids? Maybe Han descended fro. Lorrik's line.
| Mr. Salt chapter 2 . 5/7/2015
Lorrik wears boxers... and Jresh just wears underwear. Tighty-Whiteys?
Jresh muttering too, that's what happens when you hang around an inquisitor.
| Mr. Salt chapter 1 . 5/7/2015
OK, so right off the bat, the duo is grabbing a holocron from a crime boss. I wonder if the boss is in republic space? I can't imagine a boss in imperial space would last long with a holocron, or that two radicals would be contracted for a job in imperial space.
Lorrik finally got his hood! Woot!
| Puck33 chapter 2 . 1/10/2015
You had me within the first three paragraphs solely because of your description. It's incredibly vivid!
This is picky of me, but one thing that bothered me throughout the story is places where you had a sentence that wasn't technically a complete sentence. For reference, here are a couple examples:
"The sole object that looked like it didn't belong."
"Dull and utilitarian, not a single sign of excess."
I'm not completely fandom blind here, but I definitely don't know what a Twi'lek is. As a reader, I would appreciate you saying "the creature" or "the droid" or something in place of "the Twi'lek" so that I get a better mental picture.
"Sith happened" is a masterfully creative line. :)
I feel like almost every noun you use is preceded by "the" and it does feel a little redundant.
Are these names; Lorrik, Kaas, Jresh, things that come from the movies/games, or are they original? If they are yours, outstanding job. They sound very canon.
Lorrik is delightfully chipper. He is very well characterized. I do feel like you could work on consistency in the characterization of Jresh. You describe him as reserved, but he doesn't always seem that way in the dialogue.
This was an amusing read, thanks. :)
| Kyndred.Raven chapter 4 . 7/24/2014
Excellent update, if a little short. But don't listen to me...I'm just greedy for great writing :)
| GeorgyannWayson chapter 1 . 7/18/2014
Osetto, we meet again! :D still canon-blindish, and especially blind to your line of stories, so if I say something silly, please just ignore me. ONWARD!
[Holocrons] When I read canon-blind, I usually try my hardest not to go and look up anything on the canon in question, purely because I like the challenge and I would feel like I'm cheating. I was a little tempted, though to look up exactly what a holocron was, but I didn't need to in the end. I'm guessing this is a canon thing and your readers already know what you're talking about, but I like how you wove into the narrative what it was and it was done so BEAUTIFULLY. You describe the shape, color and its purpose all within a couple of lines and I could vividly picture it. Wonderful, my friend.
[The crimson holocron stood bright] YMMV with this description, but I didn't think 'stood' was really the best word in this instance since the object was being grasped in The Human's hand. Maybe 'shined'? But then again, I don't think that's really the word for this case, either. But I'm sure you would be able to think of something if you decided to change it ;) I do like that in such a dull, drabby place that the holocron stands out like a sacred jewel of sorts.
[...of the same kind. Rough. Disheveled...] I'm wondering if a colon after 'kind' would work better than a period? Double-check this, because this is just a guess, but since there's list of words that comes after 'kind', I think it could work here.
[the figure was content...] I thought a simple 'he' would sound better here, since 'the figure' was already used a couple of words back and 'the rough figure' comes along a couple of words later.
[...consumed with calm rapture...] LOVE LOVE LOVE this *files away for later* I don't usually see two words like these together; it's refreshing!
Just a side observation/question, but 'the figure' is used a lot in this piece. If it's a canon thing I'm not familiar with, just ignore this question, but why is it used so much? It's not a bad description, but I'm just curious. You did change it up with 'the boss', though, which gave me a better understanding of what the Human's role is here, however, so there's that. But I still wanna know :)
Uh-oh, place under attack. NOT GOOD. Everybody, find a place to hide!
[...corners digging into his calloused flesh...] loved this visual that appealed to my sense of touch.
[...totally out of his element.] for such eloquent prose, I thought the appearance of 'totally' was a little jarring. I would've gone with something a little more mellow, like 'looking as though' or something along those lines.
[...cracked a toothy smile.] this might just be me being silly, but it seems a though a trait of a lot of villains is bad/interestingly shaped teeth XD still, I loved this!
[Sith happened.] Those ending words. Wow. Yes, the Sith sure did happen...I have a feel that this isn't the last we're going to be seeing of this group.
What a start to what looks like is going to be an epic story! I wish you all the best with the rest! Thank you for writing this, and I'll see you next time!
| Kyndred.Raven chapter 2 . 7/17/2014
I haven't read the prequel to this yet, but I couldn't help but take a peek at this. Great job :) I really like what you've got going. You have a great ear for dialogue. Post more soon please!
| Talicor chapter 1 . 7/16/2014
My dear, Os'... You never fail to deliver! Gah! As always, your imagry is truly splendid! LOVED the dark beauty of the holocron, and the way you portrayed the dingy surroundings... Just... Oooh...
And that last line... Just... HAH! Too perfect! The sense of humor you imbue is awesome! (Now I just need to get my butt in gear, and finish the other 111 chapters of Acolyte Ascension read...)
Ah, well! I am immensly pleased that you have deemed us worthy to grace with your excellent writing skills!
Looking forward to more!