.GOD.! your story is fantastic! I love it! 3 I really hope the new chapter will be out soon! :)

Hi! Wow... This was kinda intense! I think he'll take too much time to react to that and she'll think sthg like he didn't like it? Or he'll respond accordingly only to be disappointed when he'll see Natsu but happy when she'll slip again? So much possibilities... Looking forward to next chapter!

Ahh! Omg, I'm not sure how to react! Well written as usual, of course. But I'm getting all squeeeee And I'm a t work, and people are going to be wondering why I am grinning like a moron! That was too adorable

Kyoko is initiating the tongue kiss, huh? That's interesting. But is she really back into Natsu mode? Or is she just following natural instinct? And how is Ren going to react! Please update soon

I really kinda hope that once she kisses and shocks the crap out of sho she makes some comment about ren being much better haha!

*grins and giggles like a maniac*

Short but sweet. Bit light on sensual details that usually mark a first kiss scene. You show and don't tell. You unpack a little later on, but where are the sensations, the headiness, the romance? Kyoko says it feels good, and that's about all you say.

What does responsive mean? She's just not letting him kiss her, she's kissing back of course, but is she making noise? Running her hands on his body, curling her hands into his hair? Details can bog down a story, but they make certain scenes pop with judicious application.

Instead of saying She was much more responsive than he could have hoped, which is telling, you could say She pressed her body into his, curling her fingers into his hair with one hand as the other traced patterns on his shoulder. Or His shock grew as her body unconsciously sought his.

Something along those lines. It doesn't have to be great detail. You do it earlier to show her nervousness by her twirling her hair so I wonder why you didn't do the whole chapter that way.

As for what is going to happen, if you continue following canon characterizations, she'll pull a kiss mark thing and freak out once she gets past her comfort zone even as a character, or Ren will do something to scare her. This is only chapter four and it just wouldn't be true to herself for her to be over it already, not in a 200 chapter manga where we are only now getting a first kiss and not even a proper one.

Anyway, thanks for posting :D I enjoyed it. Also, if you don't want critique, let me know please and I'll refrain.

Meow. Take your time writing the next chapter.

Hello! Yeah, it's a bit mean... I like it so far. The characters are spot on and It's great for me. But I REALLY want to read the next chapter! Till next time then

This is really cute so far :D in a situation that is would be close to something pulled in canon. It has a lot of promise, especially with all the things that have been revealed in the past few chapters. You do a pretty good job in keeping her in character as well. We haven't seen enough of Ren to make that call yet, but from what I've seen so far you're doing well.

Good job ending it there too. It has certainly been enough to pique my interest. Well-written too. Thank you for posting :)

Very cute :) Update soon, please?!

Ieeee! Oh my.
I really like how you avoid extremities, the characters stay as calm and pragmatic as possible. In other kiss-teaching kind of stories in this moment there would be already several hysterical scenes finished, which I feel overdone. After all, it's just a kiss, not THE first kiss (and even if it was, it is still only a kiss), and a normal part of the work of an actor or actress. If the majority of work for teenage actors is in TV doramas, they cannot avoid kissing some other actor for a long time. And the work has to be done, regardless of the sympathies and anthipathies between the actors. Of course, the real feelings are seeping around the borders.

Now I am in big expectations about the next chapter.

Ąhh this is torture...plz update as fast as u can! This is amazing! Love it XD
Love your reader

You're gonna PERFECTLY describe their kisses right? Right?! RIGHT?! *Kyoko's shining eyes*

Indeed! You are so mean. You just had to stop there, didn't you? But gunDAMN! I like this fic so much that all the hate I was thinking of sending (to haunt you) immediately evaporated into thin air. I'll be waiting patiently then for the next chapter... But do update soon! a 1000 THUMBS UP

awww! so mean to stop there! I just found this story and I absolutely love it!
so plz update asap