Reviews for Harry Potter and the Riders of the Apocalypse
alix33 chapter 22 . 7/19/2017
“light weight of the keys”, not “lightweight of the keys’.
“stood on end”, not “stuck on end”.
“with broad shoulders”, not “broad shoulder”.
“honour-bound” should be hyphenated.
“broadsword’s initial swipe”, not “broadswords initial”.
“head-butted” should be hyphenated.
As should “black-haired”.
alix33 chapter 21 . 7/19/2017
Ron’s favourite Quidditch team is the Chudley Cannons (per Harry Potter book and movie canon), thus he would abbreviate their name to the “Cannons’, not the “Canons”.
‘moneymaking” should be one word.
As should “workaround”.
“’his Occlumency Shields’, not “is Occlumency shields”
“process was not quite as clear-cut” or ‘process was not quite as cut and dried”, not “process was not quite as clear cut and dry”.
“textbook” should be one word.
“enraptured by the book”, not “enraptured with the book”.
“the fact that it took”, not “the fact it took”.
“willpower” should be one word.
“bloody thing”, not “blood thing”.
“a lot safer”, not “a lot safe”.
“lightweight” should be one word.
montanaatheart chapter 57 . 7/19/2017
I think I am confused.. Did dolohov become Rookwood instead? I could have sworn that you went with Dolohov at first but I couldn't remember what chapter he was mentioned in.
creativesm75 chapter 57 . 7/19/2017
A very good chapter
alix33 chapter 20 . 7/18/2017
“with the stipulation”, not “under the stipulation”.
“differences between the Magical method and the Mundane one’, not “differences in”.
“widespread” should be one word.
Those charcoal robes that look more like a duster sounds SO stylish.
“a moment of thought” or “a moment’s thought”, not “a moment’s of thought”.
“wartime” should be one word.
“ill-prepared” should be hyphenated.
“nip the problem in the bud”, not “at the bud”.
“no-nonsense” should be hyphenated.
“threadbare” should be one word.
“an experienced Healer well-versed”, not “an experience Healer well versed”.
“all-out” should be hyphenated.
“as he was sworn into both offices”, not “as he swore into both offices”.
alix33 chapter 19 . 7/18/2017
Yum! at the prospect of Hannah receiving that bundle of books as a gift.
And the Illusion tome Harry got Millicent.
“yours to keep”, not “your to keep”.
“Godmother to Neville”, not “God Mother to Neville”.
“Godmother to Harry”, not “God Mother to Harry”.
“pure-blood” should be hyphenated.
As should “deep-seated”.
“going back what can be considered”, not “go back what”.
“black-haired” should be hyphenated.
As should “no-nonsense”.
And “double-checked”.
“so close to your chest”, not “so close to chest”.
“three-headed” should be hyphenated.
I feel Helena Ravenclaw was rather rude to Harry, given that he observed etiquette in asking her permission to copy her mother’s journal for Hermione. Was it because Harry called her using a necromantic ritual to ask said permission that she was so rude?
alix33 chapter 18 . 7/18/2017
Harry’s wand now has thestral and valkyrie DNA twining around it, in a very apt double spiral of hair.
“heavy-handed” should be hyphenated.
“leftover” should be one word.
Yay! at the prospect of the goblin demolition team destroying the horcrux in Slytherin’s locket.
“the Wizard’s conscience in a Goblin’s body” or “the Wizard’s consciousness”, not “the Wizard’s conscious”.
“flat-out” should be hyphenated.
Yay! for Harry having found the Shadow Cowl in Grimmauld Place.
I came over all covetous at your narrator’s description of Harry’s bronze dragon hide boots.
If I were Harry I’d want to soak my arm (the one that has the shaken hand at the end of it) up to the elbow in the strongest disinfectant potion for as long as possible as soon as possible after having shaken the odious Cornelius Fudge’s hand.
“pinpoint her” or “pin her down”, not “pinpoint her down”.
It’s “gossip monger” but given Pansy Parkinson pug-faced looks (as per the book canon), I can totally appreciate the pun in “gossip mongrel”.
“fifty-two” should be hyphenated, as should “thirty-nine”.
“vested interest in speaking with”, not “vested interest to speak with”?
I liked Harry and Daphne’s conversation while they waltzed loads.
“duty-bound” should be hyphenated.
As should ‘pure-blood”.
“I just asked for your trust”, not “just as for your trust”.
alix33 chapter 17 . 7/18/2017
That “as casual as he got” made me smile, as I’ve been doing everything – even going to church – in jeans and tops since 2013, when I started working night duty as a copy editor permanently.
“double-checked” should be hyphenated.
Yum! For how pretty those dark hardwood floors already sound.
I adore wooden floors. The only thing is (and this I know from personal experience) if one inhabitant of a house with them in has insomnia (for whatever reason. I was the pacing insomniac) and paces in the middle of the night, you wake the whole house.
Pleased to meet you, Edmund!
“firstborn” should be one word.
As should “entryway”.
And “Ballroom”.
Given that Harry has been dealing with his account managers at Gringotts in his renaissance of his businesses, would he not have done “parchmentwork”, rather than “paperwork”?
“of my own volition’, not “by my own volition”.
“throwing curses Harry’s way”, not “throwing cursed”.
“interrogated about it”, not “interrogated on it”.
“double-checking” should be hyphenated.
“handcrafted” should be one word.
“four-poster” should be hyphenated.
I get why Harry won’t confide in Cassandra Abbott. Still, I think she’d be a useful ally.
“she’d have sent him”, not “she’d of sent him”.
“hand-knitted” should be hyphenated.
That handwritten book Harry got from Hannah is IMO precious.
“accident-prone” should be hyphenated.
The set of communication mirrors Amelia made for Harry according to the conjuration James and Sirius originally did to make the set James gave her AND her offer of help/guidance on pure-blood house matters is IMO even more precious than the book Hannah gave Harry.
“In all honesty”, not “In all honest”.
“fail-safe” should be hyphenated.
“waterproof” should be one word.
alix33 chapter 16 . 7/17/2017
“On some form of scale”, not “One some form of scale”.
“helped the crow settle in”, or “helped the crow get settled in”, not “helped the crow settled”.
“quite large lengthwise” or “quite large in length”, not “quite large in lengthwise”.
I had to Google “halberd” to be reminded of what it looked like (my knowledge of ancient weaponry is scant).
“manor where generations of Potters were raised”, not “manor were generations”.
“out of his reverence”, not “out of his revelry”.
AW!
Hey there, Millie! I’m so pleased to meet you!
Hey there, Puck, Tripsy, Twilly and Hermy! Pleased to meet you four too.
Those four greenhouses and their rotation sound nifty.
“ballroom” should be one word.
Potter Manor is humongous!
Yum! at the sound of those old wands and books.
I think the scales filling up with Harry’s blood on the gauntlet has strengthened it (the gauntlet) once more.
“handwritten” in “handwritten anecdotes” should be one word, as should “handwritten” in “handwritten parchments”.
alix33 chapter 15 . 7/17/2017
Yay! for Harry staying at The Leaky Cauldron and double yay! for it stopping the ministry from monitoring him.
‘double-checked” should be hyphenated.
“rein in the impulses”, not “reign in’.
“coming and going through”, not “come and going through”.
“left of their legacy”, not “left to their legacy”.
“mouthpiece” should be one word.
As should “lightweight”.
“good night’s sleep”, not “good night sleep”.
“passageway” should be one word.
I LOVE, LOVE, LOVE the prospect of Gringotts’ goblins destroying a third horcrux.
“each of the crystals”, or “each crystal”, not “each of the crystal”.
That deep blue crystal that will go into the handle of Harry’s wand sounds very pretty.
“great-great-grandfather” should be hyphenated.
alix33 chapter 14 . 7/17/2017
“safeguarding” should be one word.
‘he was the Horseman of Death”, not “he was the Horsemen”.
“wholeheartedly” should be one word.
Yay! for Harry’s note taking in his own journal.
“several owls dove down”, not “hours dove down”.
I LOVE Harry’s intent on organising his mail into piles according to what his reply to any piece of mail would be.
“at the new instructor for DADA”, not “at the new DADA”.
“rearrange” should be one word.
“Your style”, not “You’re style”.
“they’ve cast anywhere”, not “they’ve casted anywhere”.
“antisocial” should be one word.
“tag-along” should be hyphenated.
And “handwritten”.
“stupid per se”, not “stupid per say”.
alix33 chapter 13 . 7/16/2017
“safekeeping” should be one word.
“half-moon spectacles” or “half-moon glasses”, not “half-moon speckled glasses” unless Dumbles’ glasses really are speckled (in which case I’d recommend an enthusiastic “scourgify” charm be performed on them forthwith).
“doorknob” should be one word.
Perenelle’s black suit sounds ever so stylish.
“overprotective” should be one word.
“worried about the announcement”, rather than “worried with”?
“sugar-coating” should be hyphenated.
alix33 chapter 12 . 7/16/2017
“bookshelves” should be one word.
“then the room”, rather than “then there room”?
“Harry peeked inside”, not “peaked inside”.
“pure-bloods” should be hyphenated.
“past few days”, not “pass few days”.
“good at the theory” or “good at the theoretical”, not “good at the theoretically”.
I love it that Harry now knows, courtesy of the Room of Requirement, that he has the Philosopher’s Stone in his trunk.
And I love Dumbles’ reaction to the Philosopher’s Stone being gone even more.
alix33 chapter 11 . 7/16/2017
“just as Harry has just done”, not “just as Harry has just done so”.
Excellent gut feeling there, wanting to keep the diadem away from Quirrell too, Harry.
The phrase “Dust settled” made me chortle under my breath.
“cold-blooded” should be hyphenated.
“a foul sounding swear word in Goblin”, not “a foul sounding swear in Goblin”.
“ill-conceived” should be hyphenated.
As should “man-hours”.
Poor claustrophobic Harry, as he and Director Gringott is moving ever closer to the King’s chambers.
Yay! for the seeming gender equality amongst the goblins.
“gemstones” should be one word.
I had to Google “bearded axe” to learn what it looks like.
That poor scared away guard dragon!
Yay! at Quirrell having dropped dead in Hogwarts the instant that both horcruxes were destroyed in Gringotts in London.
Ben91 chapter 57 . 7/15/2017
Glad to see an update even if it was after quite a long time.

Hope to see more soon, can't wait to see how it goes!
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