|Reviews for Harry Potter and the Riders of the Apocalypse|
| alix33 chapter 9 . 7/13/2017
“duty-bound” should be hyphenated.
“study of magic”, not “study nito magic”?
“srue of the use of the exercise”, not “sure behind the use to the exercise”.
“absent-mindedly” should be hyphenated.
“sounded like a weak excuse”, not “sounded a bit weak of an excuse”.
“wasn’t the reason Harry dressed up”, not “wasn’t the reason dressed up for”.
“girls’ bathroom”, not “girl’s bathroom”.
‘overdramatic” should be one word.
“nosy know-it-all”, not “nosey know it all”.
“passageway” should be one word.
I liked Harry and Hermione’s conversation loads.
| alix33 chapter 8 . 7/13/2017
“fork out some money”, not “fork over some”.
“parachute needed to be deployed’, not “parachute needed deployed”.
“downright” should be one word.
“hand- and footholds”, not “hand and footholds”.
“handholds” should be one word, as should “handhold”.
“double-checking” should be hyphenated.
“windowsill” should be one word.
As should “outdone”.
“the care of it”, not “the care for it”.
“overzealous” should be one word.
“angry about and terrified of what you did”, not “angry and terrified of what you did”.
“not expected a Wizard’s oath”, not “not excepted a Wizard’s oath”.
“at arm’s length”, not ‘at arms’ reach”.
“could not argue with what Harry” or “could not argue against what Harry”, not “could not argue what Harry”.
| alix33 chapter 7 . 7/13/2017
I LOVE, LOVE, LOVE it that for once Dumbles has none of the information. See how he likes it when he’s treated the way he has treated other people all these decades.
“muggleborn and –raised”, not “Muggle born and Raised”.
“Potions professor”, not “Potion’s professor”.
“Snape did this due to anything but pure neglect”, not “did this under anything”.
“got a hold of”, not “got ahold of”.
“have been hit the worst”, not “have been hit the worse”.
“lifetime” should be one word.
“any and all subtle attempts”, not “any and all subtle attempt”.
“Potions Master”, not “Potion’s Master”.
“ons of those cauldrons”, not “one of those cauldron’s”.
“dark-haired” should be hyphenated.
| TurtleBlue chapter 2 . 7/13/2017
Oh poo, all the horsemen already chosen :-(
I've already fitted my snorkack with a fairy-mount and bridle!
No room for a 5th rider? Especially with my arse-lenght silver hair flowing under my helm to entice harry-kun as I ride with the other battle maidens?
| alix33 chapter 6 . 7/12/2017
“fireplace” should be one word.
“punishment for using”, not “punishment to using”.
I liked the alliteration in “the gurgle from the gaggle of giggling girls” too.
Yay! for Terry Boot’s advice regarding the laying of charges against Snape.
“undertone of”, not “under hint of”.
“swear on the Horsemen of Death”, not “swear as the Horsemen”.
“gave a full rundown”, not “gave a full run down”.
I thought the Bones Family also figured out how to make communication mirrors, not that Harry’s late father gave Amelia Bones a pair of communication mirrors as a gift.
“dark-skinned” should be hyphenated.
“defense mechanism”, not “defensive mechanism”.
“free fall” should be two words.
“G-forces take a hold of your”, not “gee forces take a hold on your”.
I want Snape’s trial to be a doozy of a nightmare, not only a plain run of the mill nightmare, for Dumbles and Snape, not only for Dumbles.
| jake the dragon chapter 57 . 7/11/2017
I need more
| alix33 chapter 5 . 7/11/2017
“challenging you to a duel”, not “challenging you to a dual”.
Yay! for prof. Flitwick’s belief that Dumbles would get up to something even more underhanded sooner or later. Good that Harry is now forewarned about that as well.
I LOVE, LOVE, LOVE that Harry didn’t say what charges he will bring against Snape.
“Dumbledore looked as if he wanted to say something”, not “Dumbledore looked to want to say something”.
“taking notice of Harry”, not “taking notice to Harry”.
“withdrawals being made”, not “withdraws being made”.
‘Sirius Orion Black is your godfather”, not “ Sirius Orion Black is your God Father”.
“back-story” should be hyphenated.
“businessman” should be one word.
“bony skull”, not “boney skull”.
Yay! for the books and Harvester Harry bought at Borgin and Burkes and for the book on household charms that Tom the publican gave him.
I LOVE, LOVE, LOVE that Harry’s trunk has a most secured compartment and the way in which it is secured.
| alix33 chapter 4 . 7/11/2017
“never-ending” should be hyphenated.
I liked it loads that Ashes ate his rabbit there right in front of the staff table, and did so very messily. Awesome that Harry will be cleaning up after Ashes.
“matchstick” should be one word.
Severus Snape has just signed his own death warrant, IMO. I doubt Dust would miss again.
‘schoolyard” should be one word.
“double-check” should be hyphenated.
“need rinsing off” or “need to be rinsed off”, not “need rinsed off”.
“need to be thrown out”, not “need thrown out”.
“triple-check” should be hyphenated.
| Guest chapter 57 . 7/6/2017
Good chapter nice work!
| The Age of Awesomeness chapter 57 . 7/8/2017
Great work! Keep it up and please update soon!
| Guest chapter 4 . 7/4/2017
Reading this is like eating a lovingly made, wonderful tasting cake that is strangely gritty in places.
The story seems great. Solid concept, well written and phrased, no massive errors; this places it well above the quality you would expect here.
On the other hand everything is so trite and common. People are falling over themselves to interact with him, Harry is the lone voice of reason in a world of impulsive fools, and 'the people Harry likes'/'the people who will join him' are the only ones allowed to be halfway competent.
Obscenely rich? Yup. And hes already showing signs of tossing money like an idiot.
Has a secret mentor who doesnt actually teach him much? Yup. If that familiar is filled with knowledge why has he never tapped that information?
No one pays attention to his strange powers? Yup. Surely Dumbledore, Snape, Mcgonagall, Sinestra, or SOMEONE noticed "Hey, is a student using some kind of mind/spirit/emotion aura to make other students act differently DURING MEALS RIGHT IN FRONT OF US?"
In trying to make Harry "cool" quickly you glossed over logical consequences and in trying to to show us that Harry is "smart" you had to made everyone else an idiot.
| mudbloodpotter05 chapter 57 . 7/6/2017
A good chapter.
Keep up the good work.
| dragonfighter11 chapter 57 . 7/5/2017
If by the end of this story Susan dies or they break up I'll probably stop reading, just saying~ In any case, great story, a little too stretched out for my liking, considering we're only at year 3, but still great anyways.
| alix33 chapter 3 . 7/5/2017
“sheaths” is the plural form of the noun, “sheathes” would be the verb, so Harry’s knife and wand would each go into their respective sheath or “in their sheaths”.
“loath to get up”, not “loathed to get up”.
Yay! for Harry lashing out at the attempt at occlumency.
“look of slight disappointment”, not ‘look of slight disappointed”.
“double-check” should be hyphenated.
Yay! for Harry telling Dumbles to butt out of everything regarding Harry other than his education.
“schoolwork” should be one word.
I like Harry and prof. Flitwick’s conversation thus far a whole lot (prof. Flitwick has just advised Harry to have his account manager check into properties in Hogsmeade).
“point-blank” should be hyphenated.
“schoolyard” should be one word.
| hades12365 chapter 1 . 7/5/2017
Update faster please