|Reviews for Newton's Third Law|
| Izcariot chapter 1 . 10/23/2014
The thing that sticks out to me is that the formatting is distracting. If you look at it on the site it's literally just one line after one line after one line. When writing you need to switch up between dialogue, narration and action. This seems to be mostly dialogue which is to blame for the single lines that make up most of the chapter. What this does is puts the reader in a bit of a trance. Paragraphs should vary in length because it's easier on the reader's attention spans.
Not that I can lecture because I'm guilty of it too.
| Vahn chapter 1 . 7/20/2014
And it's been awesome to work on this with ya, All In All I think the first chapter turned out well :) And naturally this might sound bias but I can't wait until you write more :D