Reviews for Clarity |
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![]() ![]() This is an amazing story... but I can't read it lol. It would be great if you could get rid of all the code |
![]() ![]() ![]() Really good formating and editing in this chapter . Very bold and experimental . |
![]() ![]() ![]() what's up with chapter 9, 11, and 12. they look like you opened a archive file on a computer with a story in between the nonsense. |
![]() ![]() ![]() Same for this one... |
![]() ![]() ![]() This chapter's text format needs fixing too... |
![]() ![]() ![]() The text format for this chapter needs fixing... |
![]() ![]() ![]() Well, it's not the word monster the first story was, but it was still quite a bit to read in a single day. I think overall that I very much enjoyed. One negative: a bit too Modern Western Political Thought -y to feel quite as realpolitik as I think you'd like. Put another way, if this were a corporate organizational explanation you'd be doing a thorough Human Resources analysis, while the corporation solidly adheres to Z theory organization. You can still paint the picture very well indeed, but some of the subtleties get lost. One positive: Character growth. My first critique back in the previous story was that you were writing more of a mood with plot than a full world. That changed after the first fifteen chapters or so, and you started to really flesh the world out in sustainable ways. Going forward to story end, and then accelerating rapidly through this arc, you've embraced character growth much more spectacularly than before, and I find your depictions both more clearly written and to be much better personalized to their chracters-such that they gain a good semblance of life. |
![]() ![]() ![]() Itatchi probly got scared shitless, imagine having a dojutsu the same as yours being plucked infront of you. |
![]() ![]() ![]() Just a Spade casually dropping by ️ |
![]() ![]() ![]() Love this story. I’m so sad it’s over :( Honesty one of the best fanfic out there. I was disappointed with the ending but I guess it had to end at some point. But it felt very rushed and didn’t really end to be honest. But that’s ok. At least you gave us something instead of abandoning the story. I kinda wished Aiko had gotten her original eyes back. I feel like there was just something unnatural about having the rinnagan, especially the impact on her health. I also wished she’d ended with a relationship with someone. And I don’t know some fluffy chapters would have ended things on a positive note. But I’m also just reaching here. It’s still been an amazing story, and I can’t believe how much work and effort you’ve put into it. |
![]() ![]() ![]() I've noticed a lot of coding pushed into this wonderful story, like 999999px, veranda. some chapters I had to completely skip because there was so much in the way this was an A story, but if you have the chance, can you fix that? this was my second time reading this amazing story. |
![]() ![]() ![]() it's really getting in my nerves! I wish you would go back and delete all the code... love the story though |
![]() ![]() ![]() is this book complete? |
![]() ![]() ![]() broken chapter here too! |
![]() ![]() ![]() Very broken chapter here Author! |