|Reviews for Magic Online|
| Grim ShadowFrost chapter 46 . 4/13/2021
I'm not one for reviewing ,but OMG this and Mystic Knight Online are two of my favorite HP/SAO fan fics . you have had me on the edge of my seat and biting my nails. please update this story I'm interested in what you write.
| Silroc chapter 1 . 4/9/2021
Thoroughly enjoyed this story! Such a unique take on both worlds, and the way James' magic took on the semblance and mechanics of the world of SAO. I really hope this isn't dead or discarded, I'd love to see more about both his resolution to his current condition and his budding relationship with Hermione, as well as more interactions with the SAO-crew! Your characters seem full and real, despite being obviously non-canon. More, please!
| Dr Gero chapter 46 . 3/25/2021
Ah, finally reached the end. Overall I like the plot a lot as well as most of the characters. During certain times we shift from plot to explainations, where the story gets a bit bogged down. Maybe it's not as obvious when reading a chapter at a time but going straight through it can be a lot to get through.
Harry's unique method of magic mixed with SAO is fun. I did prefer earlier on in the story when there was a focus on his traps, creative solutions and non-direct confrontations; at some point he became able to take on anyone and lay siege to magical castles, which felt a little unearned to me. I can love a powerful!Harry story as long as it's in small enough steps and develops naturally. Surprising and getting the better of someone using his unknown abilities is one thing and I like it, but around the 3rd task I think he kind of feels like any magical warrior in action scenes. I also understand and like the difficulties Harry is facing reintegrating back into the world, that the trauma of SAO forced him into a sort of stunted growth. That said, sometimes he's aware he's acting like a child which is good (the whole "real" mental age stuck in a 9 year old body thing), other times he's being kind of repetitive and there's no indication he's aware of it.
The dynamic between Harry, Hermione and the others were my favorite parts, as you write Harry adjustingstruggling very well. Luna and a couple others did feel like they drifted in and out without a real focus, which I assume is wanting to include them but not having much for them to do, so I understand.
I'm not sure where we would go moving forward, but wishlist items would be Hermione supporting Harry as the damage is worked on (and Harry going out of his way to support his M&M friends without prompting would be a cute character development). As well as seeing the others using their new interfaces and learn if they can track info and develop their skills like Harry, and if learning spells in a new game would translate to real spells for him, assuming he would ever let himself be strapped into a new headset.
Thanks for all the time and effort you put into this! I look forward to your future work!
| Dr Gero chapter 41 . 3/24/2021
I have to be honest, this chapter was really hard to get through. There's so much informationexposition that at one point while I was listening along, I had to stop and check my place in the chapter because I thought I was in a long author note. Afterwards I started skimming; it doesn't feel natural and feels really overcomplicated.
For a while it's kind of felt like there's two stories here, one about Harry being sucked into SAO with it affecting his magic in a unique way and a super!Harry story where he's the best at everything. Tying the two together (which it seems like this chapter is doing) feels needlessly complicated and everything aligns just a little too perfectly. The big affinity aspect and family magic this chapter introduces is very convenient and mostly out of left field, esp for the importance it has in the story.
I don't mean to be a total downer, I have enjoyed a lot of the story. And I have figured out some of my mixed feelings: When we're having most of our slow moments, the day to day and this Harry figuring out the world and interacting with his friends, I really like it. The general plot beats, the challanges Harry is presented and how he creatively uses his power and skills to solve them, as well as most characterizations not related to the big plot moments- people usually feel very natural. That makes the unnatural or out of character moments stand out a lot more. A lot of big moments feel forced to me unfortunately: Lucius casting the killing curse in front of a full room (and then getting a pardon), DD attacking Sirius, some of the arguments involving Harry and the nature of M&M (great title by the way), etc. It feels like actions and conflict that happen because the plot says so rather than a character taking the most likely route based on their personality and available knowledge. But that's not always the case and particularly Harry, Hermione and Neville have usually felt very natural, even a lot of the Dumbledore scenes when he's not interacting with Harry for the purposes of isolating him further.
Finally, and I know no one asked, I think the explanation for the interface effects, Harry's SAO abilities and his stunted growth could be simplified greatly to mostly the same affect by simply emphasizing the intent behind the magic rather than long explanations about unspeakable affinities and perfect pure hearted family lines that suddenly change the world 41 chapters in and apparently doesn't manifest in anyone else.
Harry was in a unique position when entering SAO, mentally and being magical. Rather than blood wards warping reality and wiping memories and all that, when Harry gets stuck in-game he could just accidentally cast a powerful notice-me-not on his door in his fear of being caught. "Forgetting" about the door and never seeing the boy, they would likely think he ran away and say good riddance, never putting much thought into it. When Harry's body starts to fail his magic could do the stasis to preserve him and incorporate the system with his magic, and then his magic could react to his active and in-distress mind. Possibly giving him the wounds and scars because it's now so real to him. His stunted growth could be his absolute certainty he was just an avatar and avatars don't change, so his magic forced it like his hair regrowing in canon, just refreshed daily.
The only downside and biggest change would be the dark magic angle, with no immunity to the killing curse. Which would be good frankly, as stakes haven't felt serious since the end of the 2nd task imo.
I don't mean to go on or "fix" the story, it's just that while I like the story I feel like I could love it if just X, Y and Z were different, you know? You have a lot of potential and I appreciate all the work and effort you've put into this.
| Dr Gero chapter 27 . 3/23/2021
Yay, someone is getting through to him! I've got mixed feelings overall so far but I really enjoyed that scene with Harry and Hermione. They also play well off each other and make for some cute scenes.
On one hand I thought the ending of the previous year got a little too dark too quickly, but I like the idea of different horcruxes making their way to Hogwarts and being a sort of yearly boss. Really gives off a video game vibe. Speaking of, out of the Gamer and similiar stories I've read, I don't think I've seen the idea of other people gaining access to an interface for anything besides party quests before. That's a really fun idea and I love that it's spread through friend requests.
| Dr Gero chapter 19 . 3/22/2021
I've been enjoying the story and thought the inclusion of the interface in the "real world" was really fun. Harry (or James) is young, has a lot of trauma and it makes sense he would be acting the way he is. The issue is someone needs to act like an adult.
The conversations around what's real and not, as well as Harry's thoughts about everyone being NPCs is feeling repetitive and it's making Harry less likeable imo. Hermione and Neville have been written pretty well (for the most part they're all written pretty well) and I'm hoping they start to draw Harry out of his shell.
Another issue however is the lack of action or investigation by the adults to understand Harry or what he's been through. They have the headgear which likely has branding all over it, they also have the "odd floating papers" and inventory abilities Harry has shown off. Yet I don't think either of those things have been addressed when a casual search into the muggleworld would reveal all kinds of easy to find headlines. When Harry and DD or the others come together it's just like they're butting their heads together with no progress made, so those absences really stand out as undeveloped.
It feels like there was a setup there to have Hermione find out some information over the Summer, which I hope is true so the status quo gets shaken up.
Also there's some really creative ideas sprinkled around here, and obviously this is only around the halfway point in the story but if I were you I wouldn't feel the need to stay so close to canon (having another prisoner break out), I think you could come up with something interesting while deviating from the canon path.
| Guest chapter 9 . 3/13/2021
the end of this chapter made me crack up! loving this fic
| Seud chapter 10 . 3/13/2021
You edited the story to get rid of a lot of author’s notes, but seem to have left a lot of sentences in parentheses everywhere.
Most of which would only need to be placed between commas in order to format them into the story without the glaringly obvious parentheses you incessantly find the need to use.
| Seud chapter 8 . 3/13/2021
Harry snarling in anger over almost losing Agil doesn’t really mean anything to me when it was described in such little detail.
I feel as if I’m reading a journal instead of a story, and even then a journal would do better in making it’s readers feel the emotions you wish to convey in your story.
| Guest chapter 11 . 3/11/2021
I REALLY sincerely HOPE you did bot take away his previous abilities permanently because if you did the first 9 chapters were useless and a waste of time for me to read
| tinaryan29 chapter 46 . 2/26/2021
I adore your story! Thank you for all of your hard work! More PLEASE!
| Nad19 chapter 19 . 2/1/2021
huh.. i guess there will be no more sao
| Nad19 chapter 10 . 1/31/2021
aww no more SAO? i prefer SAO, i kinda bored of Harry potter universe haha
| APridefulSin chapter 46 . 1/22/2021
thank you for this masterpiece. I know it's been a while so I just wanted to say that I still reread this all the time. I always enjoy all of it.
| Luke1t0 chapter 38 . 12/20/2020
jesus I just put this down for a second and I'm 38 chapters in where did the time go, great story so far!