This started strongly if a little abrupt in the first chapter but it rapidly deteriorated - Charlotte is practically a Mary Sue character with the emotional naivety of a petulant teenager and refusing to tell the truth constantly, whilst the ridiculous hypocritical anger at Severus just doesn't ring true at all - Severus Snape is a true grey character, both a villain and a hero, and Charlotte's berating him constantly for the same attitude that she shows Molly is irritating and frustrating to read, as she wants him to prove himself whilst refusing to behave like an adult herself.

Wy did snape not send a letter tho harry
Tho let he is sorry and i
He want tho make it up tho him
A owl can find him

I mean if he severus believes that harry is alive
And i realy want tho make it up

time for oporation F.U.C.K.S.N.A.P.E
FIND THE PERPERTATORS.
UNLEASH A PACK OF WOLVES ON THEM
CUCK THEM AS I SMASH THERE WIVES
KILL ALL OF THERE PLANTS
SNAP ALL THERE ARMS
NEVER LET THEM GO ANYWERE NEAR HARRY AGAIN
ATTACK THERE PUBLIC IMAGE
PERMENETLY RENDER THEM INFERTIAL
Escape mission impossible style.

I wish this fic wasn't listed as completed, as I wouldn't have started it, especially knowing it's now abandoned.

That aside, I enjoyed this fic. It was different and kept me interested. I'm disappointed that it's being rewritten into a different story as I was enjoying this and wanted to see what happened.

It seems like everything is going fast with the punctuation you use, it's not bad enough to keep me from reading but I'd probably go back and fix some things
Like how people can't apparate or aparate or whatever it's called, inside of Hogwarts
And how some characters don't act like themselves (I don't believe snape would ever cry Infront of Dumbledore and lots of other things certain people would or I believe never would do)
Otherwise the plot is good

Molly was being hypocritical by saying Ronald can't hold Harry's parent mistake against him and yet she does the same thing with Slytherin as Ron said she told them anyone in Slytherin is bad

Although I am a bit sad that this story has ended but I understand completely and I will be looking forward to whatever you end up writing maybe one day in the future you will look back and see the beautiful piece I see here thank you for writing

I'm really enjoying this story, but one thing Hogworts IS NOT in London it is in the Highlands of SCOTLAND. OK. That's all I waneed to say.

Thanks for doing this alot

Uh you picked a bad age for Sirius, 22? Harry is 14 so when harry was born Sirius would have been 8...maybe next time do the math first before chosing an age, I think somewhere in the 30's is a better age range.

Canonically, Harry Potter has a temper. It's what got him in trouble most of the times. Breaking his Nimbus? (or Firebolt, you seem to have the inability to decide.) He'd probably choke the bstard who does. He feels unbelievably so angsty that it is ridiculous.

Chapter 1: The whole school discovered he is Severus Snape's SON and as a whole they bully him which is unjustified inside the story. The whole chapter was too forced. Whether Snape wants Harry or not, most of the school will be effing scared shtless to do anything. The first paragraph smells like you desperately want to sell HP's angst and failed.

take care of you first and anyone that said anything about your story has never tried to write one my sister is a author and after trial and error published i am proud to have helped her with positive comments it is not your place in the universe to please everyone but your self best of luck remember there are some of us that love your work be well

Disscuting! You want to go another 8 year rereadibf this... My god. Why did I waste a day then some, rereading this... For this crap?Write, don't write.. Story was fine as it was...

please tell me him and Viktor still get together