I don't think you should stop this story here. I want to know about the device and what it is. I want to know how you are going to develop this story with John and Capt O'Neill, it seems to me you had Sheppard leaning more to his sister then to him. At the end of the story you say the character has a look to him but you never actually explain it. This story could have a lot of potential if you took it a little further.