|Reviews for Alpha and Omega: a Ninja's Story|
| Spanner chapter 7 . 5/6/2003
All in all, this was a pretty good story, but I did have a few comments I'd like to make.
First off, as nice as it is to see a Chipp-centric story, I kind of wish that your version of Chipp had been more how he is represented in the game series. Your Chipp was a little too perfect, a little too smart, a little too virtuous. He wasn't REALLY drinking, he was faking it. He was hiding his True Power all along, and had only been fighting at a reduced level before - that sort of thing.
It was mostly little things, but it eventually added up to a character very different from the one I know and love. The Chipp I know from the games is hotheaded, pretty full of himself, and rude and condescending to his foes. I think it would have been much more in-character if Chipp really HAD been drunk, and decided to help Millia on a whim without realizing exactly what he was getting into, rather than it All Being Part of the Plan as it was in your story. Your Chipp... Just didn't seem much like Chipp.
Chipp is a kickass character in the game. His fighting style is fast, furious, and fun. But along with the cool moves comes a beligerant and irreverant personality. It's not a bad thing to take the bad with the good - in fact, it's what makes Chipp a cool and unique character. You've inflated Chipp into a hero, but he's NOT a hero - at least, not intentionally.
All that said, my only other beef was the bit at the end, when it was revealed that Sol had hired Chipp. As others have mentioned, it was an interesting idea, but it was never explained just WHY he did it, or why he got so pissed off at Chipp for improvising. (Your Sol Badguy was perfectly in-character, by the way - kudos!) If you plan on following up on that in another story, that's fine, but here it seems a bit contrived, as though you threw it in at the last moment.
In spite of the few flaws, I really did enjoy reading this, and hope that you will continue to write more Guilty Gear fanfic in the future!
| Deathsythe chapter 7 . 5/5/2003
Hmm...this was good, but as you said it didn't make alot of sense. I thought it was cool how Sol hired Chipp, but I don't get why Sol got mad at Chipp. What would it profit Sol if Millia had gotten away? Oh well, we kinda rushed you with this chapter so you probably didn't have time to do a proper ending. Though the ending was nice, kinda Outlaw Star-ish, Shimi-like ya know? And the little quote thingy was tight, the one about life. Where did you get it from?
I was mad at first, thinking you killed off Chipp, but you didn't. Glad to see you're doing a sequel to the fic though. Can't wait. This was a nice read and I'm glad I found it. keep up the good work man.
"You think so too right?"
| Deathsythe chapter 6 . 3/16/2003
Hey there. Sorry it took so long to review. I actually started on this chapter once I was done reviewing the other one, but I stopped for some reason I can't remember. Must have been work or something. *Shrugs* But anyway, I finally remembered to read the rest and review.
I must say this was pretty good, and I like how you gave Chipp new moves, too many authors are afraid to do stuff like that, thinking they'll get "out of character". Feh. I like the idea of Chipp's noviceness paying off. Kauff's final attack, and the free-fall landing was pretty tight.
But you said it was a 2 mile run. And it would take 8 mins for Chipp? Um...alot of human runners can run a mile in 4 mins anyway. So 2 in 8 is the same. For Chipp Zanuff, the fastest man in GGX, it's hard to believe he'd be that slow. Unless you meant since he dumped his energy into his attack that he didn't have the energy he usually did.
But if that's so, how could he have enough energy to do the free fall move? Oh well, I still like this story and I'm a little saddened to hear only 1 chapter is less. It seemed like it could go further, but oh well, you're the author.
Oh, and one last thing. Her name is "Millia" not "Milla" you left the 'I' out. Nothing major though.
Update it when you get the chance ok? Can't wait to see what Chipp is gonna do in his final fight.
"You're only living till you're born, once you are, you begin the process of dying. Life itself is nothing more than a slow death process."
| Deathsythe chapter 5 . 3/7/2003
About blankety blank time man! Geez! I forgot what this story was about for a moment, still not sure what's going on, it's man. Oh well, just glad you got it back up. Now it's my turn to do the same. Keep going.
"You think so too right?"
| LenusPUPOPreformance of Sword chapter 4 . 12/29/2002
Can you PLEASE update your fic? Here is an idea to but you don't have use it if don't want to but you could make it into a Chipp/Millia romance fic or you know the dance part of Chipp's that you wrote about that you could make Chipp and Millia do that if you wanted to but its just an idea.
Lenus_PUPO_Preformance of Sword aka Theresa Loni Lee Robinson George
| Duran the Warrior chapter 4 . 12/13/2002
| Asuka chapter 4 . 12/10/2002
I like this tory a lot. o.o Odd, it's hard to find a good Chipp-centric story, and he's one of my favorites... Ahem. The dance sequence was well-written, but it was hard to follow because you lacked enough paragraph breaks. Otherwise... nothing to complain about. Except you should write more.
| sinnthetic chapter 3 . 12/2/2002
I love this. yay Chipp!
| sinnthetic chapter 1 . 12/2/2002
:D I like this. Your right that Chipp gets to little recognition, its good!
| Deathsythe chapter 4 . 11/30/2002
Oops, I forgot to tell you. In chapter 3 you said "Omega Blade". Chipp only has an Alpha, Beta, and Gama Blade attack. No Omega blade, unless you made that part up.
Now about chapter 4
This isn't really a question about the dance, I just want to know when Chipp woke up. Did he imagine the whole dance or what?
Well, this was a longer chapter than normal. The only complaints I have is really the way you had it written. The paragraphs were very long with no breaks. It was hard to keep my place. A few paragraph breaks could have helped out alot.
Anyway, keep it up.
| Deathsythe chapter 3 . 11/30/2002
Man, awesome fight scene. I loved it. Yeah, I thought I was the only one who thought Chipp was that fast. Chipp really does have to hold back in his fights. Tell me, if ANYONE fought someone who was so fast, could teleport AND who could Dissapear, could anyone stand a chance? I think not.
Though I am a bit confused. Who is Kauff? Is he from the original Guilty Gear? I doubt from Midnight Carnival. Slayer, Bridgette, I-NO, and Zappa are the only new ones on that game I believe.
Well, I am still liking this fic and can't wait to read the next chapter.
| Zeronova chapter 3 . 11/25/2002
Well, it's good. I don't feel like saying much, but it's good. K? Good. 'Nuff said. Could be better, but that's why we're on , we're all not Tom Clancy or anything. So, yeah.
| Zeronova chapter 2 . 11/20/2002
Hm...I'm starting a fondness for this story. Especially the second to last line. "...Chipp remembered just why he didn't like women all that much." That was a great thing, I thought Millia was going for the ol' 2-people-1-bed-do-the-naughty-thing. But damn, that was comedic. Anyway, it was an interesting turn of events, and might I say this. She got up, watched Chipp train for 15 minutes, ate then went back to sleep? Sounds like a narcotic going cold-turkey. Anyway, it was good, except the whole sleeping forever bit was odd. It's nothing much though. Good chapter, keep it coming. (I thought you said you weren't gonna make it Chipp x Millia? P)
| Deathsythe chapter 2 . 11/15/2002
Hey, I'm liking this story alot. Especially the idea of Chipp being able to teleport other objects, that still doesn't prove he wasn't drunk, but it was cool non the less.
Got a question. What the heck happened to Sol? And I hope you put other characters in this story, not everyone, but hopefully Ky and Dizzy.
Hope you put up the next chapter soon. Keep up the good work.
| Deathsythe chapter 1 . 11/15/2002
E shobu justa. *Thinks to himself* Gee, I sure use that phrase alot don't I. Oh well, I like your story, very good. It's about time someone else put up a GGX story, and a Chipp Zanuff fic at that. Very good idea.
But like Tumbleweed said, I don't see why Chipp hired Sol. Chipp's perfectly capable of doing the job himself, but if you did that just to set up a Chipp and Sol teamwork kinda story, that's cool. Zanuff and Badguy are some of the coolest characters in GGX, no, gaming history. So you can't go wrong with them in the story, well you can, but it'd be hard to.
I loved the part when Chipp dissapeared. I love using that move when playing the game, especially mixed with his Zansei Ryogo, it looks pretty cool having your opponent tosses around like a rag doll by some unknown force.
Anyway, I'm liking this story and I'm wondering where Millia Rage's part comes in at, I guess I'll see when I read chapter 2.
Keep up the good work.