|Reviews for X-Avenger|
| Where's the chapter 1 . 12/7/2015
I like your story and all that stuff, but...I JUST GET SO CONFUSED! WHERE'S THE FREAKING "" THING WHEN SOMEONE SPEAKS?! I'M GETTING A HEADACHE LOOKING FOR WHATEVER SOMEONE SAYS THINGS! TTTT
Yeah, please fix that.
| maxblast chapter 5 . 5/21/2015
Well, 2 things that need to be made clear.
1 Which iterations of the characters it is ech one. For example if it was based on elements of the main comic universe(616):
Peter Parker, He would just all out refuse the team opportunity at this teenage and college times. He is a man that works alone and doesn't like teams, for those moments.
Luke Cage, it is a man that at the beginning along with Iron Fist are more interested in money, Luke's puts it over a lot of things of the heroics in getting money then Iron Fist, which prefers to chose which person he makes him pay money or not for their service(Hero's for Hire... Which would made Tony a better man to invite then to the team which you want to make for the fic). Kitty the moment she hears that the guy she crushed at the museum was Peter Parker, she would had blow up in fangasm trying to get every bit of information from Peter about Spider-Man(which would have made him really awkward and uncomfortable, because of how use to being in the shadow he is by that time) by that time.
I'm not a great fan of Johnny and Rouge, but Johnny's characterization along with the friendship with Spider-Man, if based on 616, it is pretty much in spot.
2 Name of the team, this is very important for the kind of explanation. There is a Young Avengers, and Spider-Man along with all the other Character never form part of it, in the 616 universe. Only helps a bit the X-Men in a very rare occations, teams up a lot with the Fantastic Four, and i think that he was in one battle with the avengers when he was in College(im not sure about this one).
Now, on other things, it is pretty possible that english isn't your main language, i'm probably wrong, in any case grammer(and im not grammer obssesed person in this site), this needs work. And PLEASE something to make out what it is throughs, what it is a description and what it is one of the characters talking.
And one last thing that, i really want to adress, this fic has LOT of POTENTIAL, but you need to re-write chapter because of the grammer and make more clear in which iterations of the characters, you are using as the base for the characters. This tv show, or movie, or universe of the comics, etc.
| Aligator chapter 1 . 9/13/2014
I think your story is really great you just have to fix grammar, spelling and quotation marks but other wise keep continuing
| aspiringactor chapter 1 . 8/31/2014
There is a lot to criticize here, so let me apologize in advance if I come across as rude/insensitive.
Countries/Cities/Places should always have their first letter capitalized. (Canada, not canada. New York, not new york). Egypt was also spelled wrong. Also, which Museum was it in New York? There are hundreds.
Thoughts should be easy to distinguish from regular wording and dialogue. I suggest the use of italics, or a single apostrophe (').
Similarly, make sure you use quotations for dialogue. Otherwise, it's just confusing.
Spelling matters. The home page of this website has a link to a free word program (I don't know if it has a spell-check, though)
If you'd like to send me the original document, i can make a few changes which will vastly improve it's readability. Also, links to other websites are never properly displayed.
| imperator277 chapter 1 . 8/29/2014
I am a huge fan of peter/kitty romances. Need parentheses in sentences and watch spelling and grammar. But overall it is great and cannot wait for more. Update soon!