Reviews for The Moment He Saw Her
God chapter 6 . 6/30
I left the chat at Chapter 6.
Gamemakers chapter 3 . 10/4/2014
This isn't a pairing I read often, and I like how you've approached it. Doing Haymitch after the Games with Madge's mother (does she have a specific name? I don't remember) was a very smart move.
It's very well-written. I think the only word I'd change is keen - it works fairly well, but it just doesn't shine the way the rest of this piece does.
Oooh, chilling last line. Brilliant :-)
Gamemakers chapter 1 . 10/4/2014
Ooh, I like this one. I don't think I've ever seen a Clove with less-than-perfect technique - it's a great way to explain why she didn't hit Katniss. I believe it's conventional to have a comma after 'awe' and write out short numbers like eleven, but both of those are very minor. It's cute, but I don't see how it really fits your own prompt. I'd like to see exactly how it is the first moment he sees her, like I do in the others. Either way, it's a lovely little oneshot. I really enjoyed it, especially that very last line. Gorgeous :-)
Estoma chapter 8 . 9/7/2014
Oh my goodness, that was just way too gorgeous. Thanks so much. You make my day, you really do.

Such a horrible evocative image of the cat stuck behind the window. Such a minor obstacle to us, but mirroring the helplessness we all feel in grief. I feel his desperation. I might just tear up.


octocelot chapter 8 . 9/7/2014
Annabeth-TheTributeThatLived chapter 8 . 9/7/2014
OMG I'm crying. How could you?!
Annabeth-TheTributeThatLived chapter 7 . 9/6/2014
That was... Amazing. I've never shipped it, and probably never will, but that was so well written, I couldn't not like it.
Estoma chapter 7 . 9/6/2014
Oh! Darius and Katniss? Now this is different! I really liked the concept. You stated it so simply, but showed a hell of a lot. You SHOWED, didn't TELL, which is fantastic.

[He wondered if she could see how hollow her cheeks were in the reflection of his visor.] Clever line, showing that it's a peacekeeper and a poor seam girl, without having to state it. Same goes for her fingers at her buttons, and his nod. You showed us exactly what was happening.

Gamemakers chapter 7 . 9/6/2014
D'aww... Katniss/Darius is always cute. I love it. Great job, Onyx!
turtledoves chapter 2 . 9/6/2014
The descriptions though. Original and utterly perfect. I could see everything, and it had an elegant little twist somehow due to your words.

[And she roars back.] How do you even come with these things? You're like magic.
turtledoves chapter 1 . 9/6/2014
You characterized them both perfectly (like Clove's fire and Cato's, uh, headstrong-ness?), which doesn't make any sense because the entire thing was just actions, but you pulled it off and. But, that ending. That little change. It just makes everything fit so perfectly, wow.
Estoma chapter 6 . 9/5/2014
[they wore nothing but their crowns and they were royalty] Oh! Favourite line of the piece! Wonderfully done. I am getting Got vibes Cersei/Jamie style here.

I'm not sure how this fits into the 'six moments when she's seen for the first time', though?

Annabeth-TheTributeThatLived chapter 6 . 9/5/2014
That was unexpected.
Estoma chapter 5 . 9/4/2014
Why does everyone write Johanna/Finnick as fuck buddies? Well, it's my headcanon, too, so I'm happy.

So heartbreakingly sad, but at the same time it reveals the depths of their friendship; it's beautiful that Johanna lets Finnick pretend she is someone else, and not look at her, when he fucks her.

Wonderful work!

Estoma chapter 4 . 9/3/2014
my feeeelz pls update soon
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