|Reviews for On Deck|
| yaoifan124 chapter 1 . 9/23/2016
I loooovee smut~! I very much enjoyed the beginning though with them being all coupley and the push ups! *giggles* Adorable! I could see the crew cheering at them and Whitebeard laughing out as they needed a room! Bahahaha! Enjoyed it! Thanks for sharing!
| Yuki Artsa chapter 1 . 4/26/2015
will you be the father of my babies O_O
| general yumi chapter 1 . 11/8/2014
I really love this! I especially love the beginning. Great job on this author-san!
| Fushicho92 chapter 1 . 9/13/2014
oh my.. so sexy. So well written :)
| 6Lisa9 chapter 1 . 9/12/2014
Blatent smut of my OTP, my favourite kind of fiction! And you know what's even better than that? When it's well written! When I find such story nothing can go wrong for at least the rest of the day. That beeing said I can tell you that I'll have a great week-end thanks to you ;) (I have to change my way of making compliment, does this one work?)
The marine scene was perfect! Seriously, how dare they interrupt lovely couple number1! Worth, by inviding them! Marines today... They're not what they used to be... *reproachful movement of the head*
I do have a question though, why exactly did they have to prove that Marco can do push-up while kissing Ace... How eactly did they end up with this (crucial I'll admit) question? And who did brought it up in the first place?
see you at your next oneshot!
| Animezpeps chapter 1 . 9/11/2014
:oved it second chapie but blind eye cant be forgotten
| Imperial Mint chapter 1 . 9/11/2014
It's always really nice to see a new marco/ace fic so thank you. I hope you don't mind, but I have some concrit to offer.
Your characters are quite ooc. Bearing in mind that the WBP in canon decimated 23 marine ships monitoring them before marineford, it's hard to believe that none of them would see the marine ship here. Also, marco and ace themselves - you said that they don't like PDAs and yet they're kissing on deck in front of everyone... it feels quite cheap, as if their relationship is nothing more than a freakshow attraction or something for the rest of the crew.
It's hard to get characters on point, but I think you have a really good basis to write very well and it just seems there are a few issues holding you from that. Take your time and don't rush - explain how the characters feel, let us properly understand them and get to know the world they see. Even with PWP, make it something sensual and interesting to read, not just bam!sex.
It's hard in a oneshot because they tend to be smaller, but I think if you really explore the characters and just get to know them, work with them and build up the world around them, your work will be something really worth reading.
I hope I don't sound too harsh, I just think that you do have a lot of potential and I'd hate to see it wasted on some issues that can be easily fixed. We're all guilty of not writing our best and it's hard to push past that. I think you can though and that's why I wanted to say this. Again, I hope it doesn't offend you! Good luck with any projects you're working on right now.
| LeiaGray chapter 1 . 9/11/2014
Finally a "M" Story ;)
This was really hot, and I laughed so hard at the push-up scene XD