|Reviews for Reconstruction|
| Autobot Delta chapter 7 . 7/13
Aw, so sad that this story ended so soon. It's very interesting. Also, I certainly agree with the comment below mine.
| DMA chapter 7 . 2/8/2018
Was scrolling through the comments when I came across the vitriol spewed by The Fox Familiar. Holy shitballs batman...talk about UNCALLED FOR. I just finished Adjustment of Plans and LOVED IT! Your writing style flows very well, you focus on character development so that the reader is INVESTED in what happens, the level of OOC-ness was perfectly acceptable-this is a fan FICTION for pete's sake-that's part of the POINT, and your plot development was frankly better than most of what I've seen come from the CW channel, so there you go. And if it helps, I LITERALLY have a Bachelor's degree in English with an emphasis on creative writing, I get to say these things as someone who has STUDIED literature. If I had a choice between slogging through the Canterbury tales in the original Middle English again, or reading your fic again [I have read Adjustment of Plans more than once ;-) ] I would choose you hands down every slagging time.
So, in short; ignore that jealous glitch! Those who cannot create beauty often search to destroy it out of jealousy. :-D
| Little Kunai chapter 4 . 12/27/2017
Just like old times.
| Little Kunai chapter 3 . 12/27/2017
Urgh. Starscream is one of those teachers. Brilliant, but mean.
| Little Kunai chapter 2 . 12/27/2017
Quasar is a brat. Who would be glitched enough to have a kid with Screamer?
| Little Kunai chapter 1 . 12/27/2017
| AYRS chapter 7 . 1/2/2017
This is very intersting I hope you would write more. Happy New Year! (and sorry if a wrote something wrong)
| MinaPeace chapter 7 . 9/8/2016
I was just reading and reading and then suddenly there is no Chapter next i want to know what happens next i like the characters so far
I Hope none of tge others died...
I love your story and realy want to encourage to keep going
Love Mina :*
| FlowerCrazy chapter 7 . 8/29/2015
I so hope there is more of this story soon. A really great read. I've enjoyed it very much.
| Guest chapter 7 . 8/12/2015
| autobotlover chapter 7 . 6/22/2015
Love it! I don not know which I want an update for more, this or Masks!
| The Fox Familiar chapter 2 . 4/21/2015
Resonance on his hands and knees. Foreshadowing? I think so!
Sunstreaker’s got bells in front of his shop. Did he go Jeff Spercoli on us? Rad waves, man! I bet he smokes weed every day, too.
“Sunstreaker’s gorgeous, isn’t he?” – Anodyne is the Sassy Gay Friend trope, isn’t he?
Ratchet and Res have a Patrick Swayze moment. There is no clay involved.
“None of the babies are alphas” – No shit. Everyone’s a pussy that gets upset when their crush doesn’t notice them.
“Resonance is our only potential Matrix bearer” – HAHAHA OH WOW. He hasn’t done anything worthy enough for the Matrix to choose him. All he’s done is help people, which is undoubtedly a good thing, but they’re just good Samaritan work. There’s nothing awe-inspiring or honourable that he has done. You can’t expect me to believe that the Matrix would choose him just because he’s there. Pathetic.
Jazz says Alpha sparks are idiots and yet says later that they’re desperately needed. Your inner logic does not show up on the page.
Starscream? Admitting that they need human help? That’s the last thing he’d ever do. But then again, he hasn’t at all been in character, so I guess this would be typical for Suspender Striptease.
“What life? Nobody likes him. He has no friends.” – In which the author admits details about her personal life.
I don’t care about this trip to Earth. There was a lot of detail on cyber-kittens hiding in vents. No one cares.
Why is Ratchet evilly grinning? That’s rarely like him.
Surprise, surprise. The Quintessons attack the shuttle and some people die. It would help if I knew who the fuck they were.
Res has an alpha spark which makes him a robot Superman. He’s shocked that no one told him. Yet if Alpha sparks behave differently, then Res would certainly notice that he was different from others. He’s dumb enough not to take note of his own bodily function, so what else could surprise this idiot? The convenient plot point, that’s what!
Cybertron only has about three thousand individuals, and yet, they can discriminate who can get into university and rebuild and entire city lickety-split. No one else was created en masse and everyone sat back and drank Coronas on the beach waiting to be invaded. You women have a habit of writing the Cybertronians as complete fucking idiots.
Big whoop, Res is the reincarnation of Optimus Prime. Or something like that. He has to save Earth even though nothing he’s done in this story has been exceptional. Yes, let’s send the noob in with the Alpha spark despite them being natural born idiots! What a great way to save the race!
“Rodimus didn’t care for Ratchet’s snarky attitude” – I don’t either. No one does.
Quasar goes from being an asshole to being completely complacent. You aren’t even consistent with your own characters.
Anodyne’s sister dies but we don’t care because we never met her and no one gives a shit about Anodyne.
Ratchet pulls the ‘Not What You Learned in School’ cliché, which doesn’t make much sense.
Protoforms, depending on the make, ARE sentient. Hell, their entire species IS sentient. They were sentient when they were the Quintessons’ slaves. The Quintessons did have a role to play in the development of their technology, but by and large, most of the achievements are Cybertronian and made by Cybertronians. The Quintessons are convenient plot devices that could have attacked much earlier when the Decepticon/Autobot war had just ended. Why wait? Oh, right. Reasons.
Resonance came from a closet. Subtle characterization? I think so!
“We’re so screwed up as a race” – You sure are, Ratchet.
Wait, wait, wait. Cybertronian concepts of ‘adulthood’ are indentured servitude; it’s too expensive to make vat protoforms despite you writing earlier that it was fairly easy to create them; and later, that naturally born Cybertronians are raised strictly for certain roles and if they don’t pursue that role, the carrier decides not to have any more kids? Christ, this is fucked up. And you write that they don’t do it for procreation.
...That is the fucking purpose of creation, you idiot. You create more offspring to do things. To increase your population. Not that hard.
THEN Ratchet says he admires how humans raise their young, despite it clearly being the same thing as Cybertronian reproduction. You really, really don’t think when you write these things, do you?
Ratchet writes about how he wishes he wasn’t friendzoned by Optimus Prime and how much he wants to bone Resonance. By his own admission Resonance is a drone, and therefore, not fully Cybertronian and not sentient. Or something of the sort. I don’t know. This is the logic of the story. Very bad, bad logic.
I’ve noticed this in your previous stories, and other authors that have done the same thing: your OCs are flat, fade into the background, and when they don’t play a stereotype, they are just there to act as perverts. What you did to Soundwave in ‘Adjustment of Plans’ was unforgivable, and Ratchet in that was little more than a grouchy old lady that wanted the dick. He is the same here. He’s not a guy who’s got a hardass exterior but secretly wants the best for his people, he’s just a one-dimensional dude that needs to hit it hard on the dick carousel. He has no drive. No motivations. No passion. He is extremely OOC and serves as the author’s talking point. Actually, all the characters have inconsistent characterizations.
Starscream goes from being a bitchy archetype one moment, to a backstabber, to a ‘good teacher’. Other characters don’t want him around Resonance because of his back stabbing and treachery, and yet let him hang around Starscream anyways. Sense this does not make. Elita One was a cock blocking bitch, predictably, and everyone else was good at being a teenager getting excited over her new roommate. Anodyne is Soundwave’s brat, and has all the qualities of a one-dimensional gay dude asking someone whether they lost their virginity or not. Resonance says he’s never lost his virginity despite him saying he’s been in three relationships with humans and it is hinted at that he did. It’s clear you didn’t re-read this.
When I said this read like a crossover between Accepted and Downton Abbey, I wasn’t joking.
When Cybertron got attacked, I wasn’t surprised at all, because people were too busy chasing mice on a shuttle. You do a great job of writing these long stories in which absolutely nothing fucking happens. The dialogue is all female-centric and sounds like it’s all coming from the same person; there is no tension; there are no interesting themes or plots; and honestly? I think you just take ideas from popular media and throw it all together, hoping that adding length will make it better. It doesn’t. Your longest work, ‘Masks’, has the same problem. It’s filled with long descriptions that are not consistent, and all characters, whether original or canon, have a habit of all sounding the same. Nothing they do is consistent or relevant to the plot. They’re there. For what? Slash pairings?
Of course, when you’re not writing robots giving oral sex or talking about their dick sizes, we get this. Just because your work isn’t purple prose or badly spelled, your original characters are NOT three-dimensional. They’re not Mary-Sues, but they’re useless characters, which is worse. At least Sues don’t pretend to be anything. You, my dear, think you might be a good writer, but you’re not. You’re a TL;DR shit author.
More on your other works, more specifically, the sequel to that God awful fic, ‘An Adjustment of Plans’.
| The Fox Familiar chapter 1 . 4/21/2015
After reading that abomination called ‘An Adjustment of Plans’, and seeing the revised chapters of that massively TL;DR story ‘Masks’, I can say that you are one of those authors that, instead of improving over time, you get worse. I told you in-depth what was wrong with An Adjustment of Plans, and you did not listen. Perhaps you do not like to be criticized? Of course, your loyal fans will tell you that everything is hunky-dorey. I am here to tell you that that is the farthest thing from the truth.
Right off the bat we start with the cliché of ‘Young Person is Unknown and has Strange Abilities’ and Wheeljack is his guardian. You write that Resonance has plenty of growing time left, and later, write that he has growing time – again. Resonance has the ‘My Parents are Dead’ cliché, and is on the way to become a wizard – er. Wrong fandom. Resonance is also the cliché of ‘Destined to Become an Experiment’, even though we’re not sure why. Despite him being tall for his age, he managed to fit inside Wheeljack. Sense this does not make. Resonance, despite being in stasis for a long time, does not appear in any data logs, and if he was slated to be one of Shockwave’s experiments, he’d be written down someone, even if under a codename. Someone, somewhere, would know who he is.
Despite a race nearly driven extinct by war, Iacon is all up and running. Yeah, no. That would take years, and years longer for people just to settle down. Things like that don’t solve overnight.
“So many lies in that statement. So much misdirection” – In which the author describes her own story.
There is a late noble’s mansion in Iacon that managed to survive throughout years of bombardment. Yeah, no. Classes were abolished when the war broke out. If there’s a big pet peeve of mine, it’s when Transformers becomes a strange version of Downton Abbey.
Resonance is the ‘Never Been Around Strangers’ cliché. How’d Wheeljack find him if he was on a desolate moon? Out there to grab a few drinks and watch episodes of ‘Glee’?
Wait a minute. The Dinobots are limited to land destruction? That’s not for Swoop. He can fly, remember.
Ah, the ‘Kids Blow up Everything’ cliché. Also Reunion clichés and Pats on the Back clichés.
Wheeljack found Resonance in a lab made by Shockwave on Titan, while not knowing that satellites have been sent there. You know people watch the skies for a living, right? And send stuff out into space? These people sure are lazy! And despite Resonance not being on file, he was kept in a lab designed to create experimental frame types, and was never labelled. I call bullshit.
I don’t care about this university shit. Immigration? No. You sure do have a habit of writing things no one cares about.
Surprise, surprise, there was a coup to hide the ‘truth’ about Resonance. Like I couldn’t tell. And no one could notice. This is not at all a cliché.
“I doubt we are at risk of another civil war” – Wow, Resonance, you have no idea how politics or people work.
Starscream is less bitchy for some reason. Battle fatigue? Finally got to bang his lover? I don’t know. All I know is because of Reasons.
“Anodyne was attacked in his own quarters twice” – Must be that rampant homophobia. May I ask WHY he was attacked?
“The administration promised death by dismemberment if anyone bullied him this year” – That is really cruel punishment. And is a call for more war.
“He had been warned never to touch a cybercat without its permission” – Date rape! Date rape!
Quasar, naturally being Starscream’s son, is a bitch. And a wannabe rapist. Hitting on the new guy. What an asshole.
Soundwave found a chick and banged her, and had kids, despite him sucking Ratchet off during ‘An Adjustment of Plans’. He was so OOC in that, and he continues to be so here. Someone doesn’t understand Soundwave.
They won’t let Resonance into university because of his background. This isn’t at all a cliché. I highly doubt anyone would give a shit, because lo and behold, THEY WERE ALMOST DRIVEN TO EXTINCTION. Who has time to be a racist now?
Scout virgin-shames Resonance because that’s totally acceptable, and despite them not knowing each other.
“He hasn’t had any opportunity to break his seals” – In which male robots have vagina and hymens. Not at all female centrism.
“I’ll remove that famous spike of yours” – In which the author wishes she could chop off men’s dicks, despite her not getting any.
“Did a barrel roll through the air” – DO A BARREL ROLL.
“He was large enough that his left wingtip nearly brushed the floor, and the right the rim” – How big is this canyon, and how big IS this dude? Later on, the canyon dips to unknown depths and Resonance is able to do all this stuff. Sense this does not make.
“He was still rolled on his side, one wing feet off the ground” – Okay, seriously. He’s in a tight space and his frame wouldn’t be small enough for him to enter it, let alone fly through it. Then he had time and space to even out, because the canyon supposedly opens up, and now closes again. I have no idea how the Hell this is meant to work, but whatever. Author says it is so, it must be so.
“You have potential” – Earlier Starscream was bitching how Resonance didn’t have any, and suddenly changes his mind. Okay, then.
Ratchet is being overprotective of Resonance and says he’s different when it’s pretty obvious that Res is. We get it already. We get it that Wheeljack’s been a baby momma to a bunch of brats. WE GET IT. You wrote it yourself, Res is old enough to operate on his own. Why does Ratchet give a shit about him? Because Reasons.
“I am getting flames” – Yes. Yes you are.
Damn it is an Earth term. Unless all of them starting incorporating it, they shouldn’t be using it. They have their own vocabulary for coarse language.
Cybertronians don’t have scar tissue, lol.
“Elita and Optimus had never been a pair” – Of course not. Because she’s a cock-blocking bitch and gets in Ratchet’s way, who’s been friendzoned. Of fucking course.
“She was just after a conquest” – And no one else is, am I right?
“He’d never been with another mech” – Of course, he doesn’t dig the chicks. Because girls are icky.
“He didn’t want to admit he was attracted to the young mech” - ...Ratchet is old enough to be Res’ granddad. Of course I didn’t see that coming /sarc.
If the film 'Accepted' was mixed with Downton Abbey, we’d get this. Ratchet being a perve, Res’ roommates being pervs, and no one being in character or acting like a real individual. Holy mother of God, this is fucking terrible!
I have no idea why your readers buy this shit. Just because it’s not badly spelled doesn’t make it a good story. When this abomination has reached its end, you’ll hear more of my thoughts.
| Bloxxsaur chapter 7 . 2/16/2015
Loving this story! It's a shame I didn't find it sooner.
I like your take on Cybertronian lore and their interactions with the Galactic Council, Earth and the Quints. Plus you have an astoundingly rare ability on - the ability to make an original character without it being two-dimensional or having a stupid name!
Now, onto the big topic of the chapter- shipping.
If Res is going to hook up with any of the characters, I'm calling my guess now and my guess is Quasar. It wouldn't work between Ratchet and Res, and he's already expressed a disinterest for Agility. Quasar on the other hand, is begging to be shipped (which could be taken quite literally to the same effect).
I can't wait for next chapter!
| Zanza Flux chapter 7 . 1/22/2015
This chapter was very interesting. I feel for Agility. He's had a rough life and it's coloring the way he treats others. He's not used to giving others the benefit of a doubt because he can easily read their EM fields and sparks. I wonder how he will react to being around humans. Our EM fields are very weak and most of us don't have control over it like the Cybertronians do. I think he might be a little uncomfortable around them. He can't judge us as easily as he can his own people. It's going to take a bit of work on his end, but I think he could find someone for himself.
There were some interesting dialog between Ratchet and Rez. Especially when Ratchet found out that Rez had been married three times to humans. I can't wait for everyone to meet Rez's human family. Lets hope Quazar and Agility will behave themselves.