|Reviews for A Dark Lords Rising|
| tammgrogan chapter 35 . 10/3
Hello, I just wanted to let you know how very much I have enjoyed reading your Amazing story. It was funny, sad, and exciting! All in all it was a GREAT experience. Thank you so much for sharing it with all of us. Until your next story, Thanks and take care.
| hpfan111 chapter 9 . 9/21
I had great hopes for this story, but it is rather subdued. It lacks in action and by action, I don't mean physical but rather some significant incident.
Also, as a writer, your prejudice and personal likes should not spill over into the story. But it did anyway.
Hope you take care of it in other stories. But I can't read this one
| BillBrink chapter 14 . 8/25
Beau, I'm not a grammar/spelling natzi, but a beta is badly needed. It distracts from your story. The definition of "gray" in fanfics varies, but most of the time I have found it means that Harry is able to use lethal means to exact justice in order to win the war while still keeping a moral compass. One of the problems I have with this Harry is that he is not any different than Tom, and Tom is not that much different than he is in canon. I can see that if Harry is saved from his childhood jail, why he would turn out to be like Riddle, but I need to have a reason to root for him as a hero. I can't root for someone who is no different than the protagonist. This Harry is just out to justify himself as the baddest guy in town. So, as the twig is bent the tree is grown.
I hope you continue to write. Thank you for sharing your talent.
| BillBrink chapter 10 . 8/25
So Beau Orion doesn't like his name, hmmm. What a shame. He should move to the States in the south, where Beau is a great name and very popular. On the other hand, he and Sirius should get along just fine.
| yep chapter 35 . 8/21
this was an amazing fic
| Kenau chapter 35 . 8/9
I think the overall premise is interesting and your style is not bad, even if the story does have a few odd inconsistencies. That being said, the grammar, spelling and knowledge of vocabulary are quite atrocious. Especially so for someone who proudly points out they published an original novel.
You apparently do not always know how words are spelled, since I find quite a few examples of words that may roughly sound like what you intend, but which do in fact not express the correct meaning. You often forget to use comma's, making sentences harder to read. You quite obviously have issues with recognizing when to use 'too' and when to use 'to', since you consistently use 'to' where 'too' (meaning 'also', 'as well') would be needed. You also consistently confuse 'site' and 'sight', 'their' and 'there', the 's-genitive and plural s, etc. You make quite a few spelling errors (even in canon names) and verb tense errors. At the very least you should get a beta, but I'd recommend hitting the grammar and phrase books as well.
| A random author chapter 35 . 7/6
Aside from a couple of spelling mistakes this was a great story.
| Guest chapter 2 . 6/2
Apart from story possibilities, why oh why would you have harry go to hogwarts when he is clearly capable and being trained well in advance of his contemporaries and why put him in front of dumbledore, the old meddler, when he could have one-on-one training at home?
| Firesparq chapter 1 . 5/21
Don't get me wrong, I feel that this story has some real potential. But damn, get yourself a beta. The changes in tense are killing me...
| WithinTheMadness chapter 35 . 5/3
You are merciful, thank you lol.
I'm almost bummed Ginny never made an appearance. Almost. You excluded her quite brilliantly, I must say. Well done. Great story.
| WithinTheMadness chapter 27 . 5/3
NOOOOO! SUSAN! And after killing Gabi. Daaamn
| WithinTheMadness chapter 18 . 5/2
I'm several years late for this I'm sure but I'm reading this for the first time and praying it's a Harry/Daphne/ Susan story. Just needed that off my mind as I read
| BelfryBats chapter 35 . 5/1
Well first off, the basic story is pretty solid and generally enjoyable. However, it did seem a little rushed in places. That and it could use some editing for clarification and typos as there are a fair number of them scattered throughout the story. Story wise the thing that struck me as interesting is that the leaders of the Light are just as bad if not in some cases worse that those of the Dark. Sure Voldemort is not a good guy by any means. Generally apathetic to the horrors he unleashes for his own benefit, but not unnecessarily malicious. While in this story, we have the Leader of the Light Dumbledore who quite literally engineered several easily avoidable deaths and at least one rape. All for fairly shaky reasons and against people that were on his side no less. So there is a fair bit of ambiguous morality going on.
Now Harry himself seems to be more grey than dark. Sure he will kill someone, in a violent and painful fashion. Though it is pretty much only if they give him good reason to and there are not really any other good options. Not a lot of torture or senseless death, if any, by Harry. He even went out of his way to limit such things in general. Which indicates he has a considerably better moral compass than a lot of the so called leaders of the Light.
| Guest chapter 10 . 4/24
Please, have this sent to a beta. It could be really good without all of the spelling and grammar errors
| korlinki chapter 5 . 4/13
1 everyone in magical word knows that petunia hates magic 2 name ridle