The humans , the Bene Gesserit in particular, subtly piss me off even in the Dune series because they remind me of holier than thou elves and the warhammer 40k Eldar.
But the fanfic is superb.

I find it interesting that you are able demonstrate such familiarity with ME, that you have clearly played(and likely finished all) the games, yet are capable of such writing mechanics/gymnastics, that i could almost believe that this story was written by old Frank Herbert himself. I also find it interesting that you felt you had to differentiate which Herbert you where patterning your story after, as it is fairly obvious(Brian writes an entertaining story, and I do love how he handles the descriptive aspect of Spice, however, his writing style is far more...basic; simple even).
Will you be pursuing this impressive story? Could i interest you in a Dune/Harry Potter x-over? I’ve always wanted to see how the wizard if world could be effected by Spice and Sappho juice(two things i certainly wish i had a supply of).

I liked the chapter!

please keep making this story. it's soooooo good

Nice story so far. I'll take that Nazi unicorn now and point out that there, they're and their are three completely different words.
Please use them properly.

So you deleted a couple chapters... sup with that?

I have to say, the sense of desperation and hopelessness that the ME characters are feeling, make this story very compelling. I love the entire tone of it, its like they're stuck between creatures that don't care whether or not they exist. Its really good.

I did spot an error though, in this Chapter neither Al nor Jimmy mention Cerberii, yet somehow Tali approached the topic first as if she had prior knowledge. I bet you just forgot to add them to the list.

Interesting concept, the Synth-Skin; much more plausible than Miles Teg's super-speed. I like the idea of the Sanctuary; it reminds me of Siona's vision in God-Emperor of Dune, when she sees the seeking machines hunting down the Humans who burrowed deep beneath the ground, but were still found. No where to hide from prescient machines.
A good first chapter, and I'm interested in reading more. Dune is my all-time favorite sci-fi series of books, and I've been waiting for someone to make a crossover with it and Mass Effect.
Thank you!

Oh yeah great story by the way! I'm really lookeding forward to your next chapter ps V-GINY

Oh yeah great story by the way! I'm really looking forward to your next chapter! ps V-GINY

No offense I mean theres nothing wrong with crazy! In fact some (most) of my personal heros are insane like Hannibal Lector, The Joker, Sheogorath, Buffalo Bill, Tyler Durden ect...

I read your bio... are you insane?

I think I got a bit of a dizzy spell reading all 8 chapters in one go. It's hard to figure out what exactly is going on half the time. Plots within plots within plots, and some of these humans almost sound like a certain fifth dimensional imp. It probably doesn't help that my knowledge of Dune is limited to general parts of the Paul era.

Reading this, I must say I'm surprised that humanity in Dune managed not to wipe itself out with all the plotting and scheming. It's like an entire race of Revolver Ocelot.

A slightly over repetitious use of the phrase 'little ships', but other than that another great chapter.