|Reviews for Harry Potter and the War of Manipulation|
| RHJunior chapter 1 . 11/7/2016
Those who ship Harmony are poor thinkers. 2015/03/01/ron-is-perfect-for-hermione/
| starie78 chapter 18 . 3/11/2016
Great story, would love to see it continued.
| PairingMatters chapter 18 . 10/30/2015
As far as I am aware, in canon during the summer holiday before Harry's fifth year at Hogwarts, the Dementors had attacked Number Four, Privet Drive.
Will the Dementors attack Number Four, Privet Drive soon?
| Deathday Party Planner chapter 18 . 8/4/2015
Terrific! Thank you for sharing this delightful story, I hope to enjoy more of your marvelous writing soon.
| alldifferentallsame chapter 18 . 7/9/2015
Can't wait for next chapter!
| ubetiburn chapter 18 . 7/3/2015
Just as I was getting into the chapter and had my rhythm, BANG! chapter over. Damn. When is the next one coming out?
| PaC chapter 18 . 6/20/2015
SHIT, this didn't post, so IN REVERSE ORDER, see part 1 further below,
Or are we to soon have, Harry and a couple of people, are going to "fight" Voldy plus Dumbles, plus the entire auror force, and Ministry of Magic?
Which reminds me of another MIA obvious person, Susan Bones?
You had Harry and Hermione warn Ollivander, then didn't warn the Weasleys, but it turns out via Neville hinting now[Luna saying the Weasleys not at home all summer], that I GUESS, they are at #12, though HOW/WHY Sirius and Remus didn't mention it, or maybe I forgot, and the Weasley's being there were considered "not in danger" of Voldy's minions.
YET we have gone the entire SUMMER, and so far, THEY did NOT warn one of the obvious targets, which I THINK this story EVEN had Hermione or Harry mentioning, AMELIA BONES. And she could be the key to a "get out of painting the plots into a corner" problem, of Harry and Co. neglecting the THIRD FRONT, the Ministry of Magic. IF the auror force in this story is "competent" and NOT full of death eaters, then OBVIOUSLY, winning or allying with Amelia Bones saves having to deal with trying to BEAT or war with the entire ministry, it helps to BANDAID the problem, that so far, the story seems to have forgotten about this THIRD major power, THE MINISTRY OF MAGIC of the U.K...which is "doing WHAT" whilst Harry fights Voldy and Dumbles?
Both in fanficdom and canon, face it, the so called "Order of the Phoenix" is pretty USELESS and passive and do nothing of much use or value. Amelia and the auror forces, later allying with Harry and Co., help to make it less eye rolling, as a Harry and few pals versus Dumbles, AND Voldy AND any and all forces Voldy is assembling, is a bit of an eye roll. Especially since OBVIOUSLY, Lucy Malfoy we'd expect, would be doing his best, to have Fudge bringing as much abuse of power and as much persecution of Harry by the Ministry of Magic, that he could muster.
If this review "smarts", I'm reviewing as if this were professional, and face it, this is amateur, fanficdom. It's not as if it was so awful I bailed out, which I try to not read more than 5 chaps deep for mediocre or sub-mediocre fiction. But on RARE occasions, some poor quality fics get it going, or the author improves, after several chapters. I would hope an author read through of all chapters could clean up a lot of the SPaG. It's not that it is bad, but I'm not all that much liking it a lot either. But if part of the reason for writing, is improving, in my view, one probably has to "practice" writing a lot of not all that grand stories, to maybe develop into being able to write well. Then on top of all that, is the other big problem, INSPIRATION and IDEAS for PLOT and telling an interesting enthralling tale.
Yeah, this review is not kind and lauding, but hey, you're writing, trying, working at it. Not like I can be complaining for paying too much for this fic. Good luck with this one, and any new fics you start being better. That I think is the big picture, great plot ideas might come now and then, but improving the craft, improving the writing, from story to story, one is able to write better when some inspiration for a great plot comes to mind. LOL, so writing a not all that grand a story well, is good practice, so when you have a good story to write, you'll be more skilled to write a better story, when having a good plot and all the trimmings.
| PaC chapter 18 . 6/20/2015
Close to possible truncation of the review, for being too long, so I cut it in half.
Part I of 2
Setting aside the big cleanup of all the SPaG repair that can be made throughout this story.
The BIG deal for a story is the story being a good tale, with good plot, action, IDEAS...
OK, we're on a canon twist of the canon Quibbler article.
That the TARGET of it as suggested here, is it to be discrediting Dumbles, which does point out a neglected "front" in "Harry's war", the corrupt Fudge regime and or Fudge a symptom, of a rotting corrupt foul incompetent crooked, death eater filled, Ministry of Magic. You've recently made it a Harry & Co. against Dumbles and Voldy. WHAT ABOUT the BIG institution of the magical government of the U.K., or even the ICW, if Dumbles could be gotten around, though if you recall, didn't Fudge, manage to have Dumbles removed from the ICW AND chief or head or whatever title, of Dumbles head of the Wizengamot, in the canon story?
You've given NO hint if Dudley was AK'd or died from his soul being sucked out by an Unbitch sent pair of dementors?
You're ignoring an entire THIRD front here, the magical government. Full of corruption and deatheaters like Lucy Malfoy, BUT Amelia still living or existing I suppose, and in canon wasn't corrupt and as DMLE head, she's above the head auror, and the aurors are a combo of police and military force of the government. So what about ALL those hearts, minds, bodies, and WANDS, an entire auror force. Does the DMLE and entire auror force sit on their thumbs and sit this "war" out, Harry and a few friends fight Dumbles and Voldy and dozens if not now hundreds of deatheaters, werewolves, giants, acromantulas, ecetera, as in canon?
Well, I had intended to make a suggestion, an OBVIOUS plot gag, but now it's not compatible if you're going with this Quibbler article and kids deciding to play hooky from Hogwarts. BEFORE you added this Quibbler gag, I thought the obvious for getting Dumbles from invading Longbottom Manor and bothering Augusta Longbottom, would have been simply to have Neville show up at Hogwarts, then with or without help, sneak out, and having "vanished", Augusta could blame Dumbledore for Neville going missing, giving Dumbles another black eye and headache. Any other recruited Harry allies could have also "vanished" from Hogwarts. Going missing under Dumble's turf, Dumbles gets the blame. But with this modified canon Quibbler bit, if those missing are credited with a byline as authors of the Quibbler article, then the gag of sneaking out of Hogwarts, as if kidnapped, no longer works. As this chapter is written as it is now though, I feel the biggest fault is, you have Harry's strategy, to weaken Dumbles, and let us assume he does, Dumbles gets politically weakened. BUT that also is helping the corrupt Fudge regime who is at odds with Dumbles, which with Lucy Malfoy with his hand up Fudge so far, it's surprising Lucy's hand can't wave in greeting to onlookers, via wagging alongside Fudge's tongue. My point is, the "plan" as it seems now, unless that "Quibbler article" attacks Fudge also, is while hurting Dumbles, you strengthen Fudge, which then helps Voldy be even more in control of the Ministry. Harry and Co. seem to have ignored an entire third front, the LARGE institution, the freaking magical government, the Ministry of of Magic.
? Perhaps you invent some "intel" via the order of the phoenix regarding the pink toad at Azkaban and Figg seeing dementors suck out Dudley's soul. Tossing the hint hint, of the pink toad, plus dementors obviously sent to murder Harry, by Fudge's right hand bitch...well, it's a stretch, but opens up a first barrage retaliation by Harry, on the so far, ignored THIRD front, the Fudge regime.
| kirsty21 chapter 18 . 6/21/2015
cool update soon thanks
| FotoDi chapter 18 . 6/21/2015
| Guest chapter 11 . 6/18/2015
This whole story feels really naive/childlike in how the characters act and the actual plot.
| LifeIsAGreatAdventure chapter 18 . 6/20/2015
I've just caught up this story. Its interesting, there are obviously many of the clichés (unavoidable given the number of stories out there), but you nhandle them creatively. Thanks for your hard work on this, curious to see where it goes.
| DalkonCledwin chapter 18 . 6/20/2015
Looking forward to the next chapter.
| DalkonCledwin chapter 17 . 6/20/2015
Well... it could have been worse... it could have been her father.
| DalkonCledwin chapter 16 . 6/20/2015
Technically it has to be Dumbledore who writes it down as he is sole secret keeper. In fact at this juncture it would be more accurate to say the house belongs to Dumbledore than to say it belongs to Sirius because Dumbledore controls access to the house.
They wouldn’t need to see if the Weasley’s are on their side to see if the Delacour family would teach them anything. Lest you forget, Harry rescued Gabrielle Delacour from the lake during the second task. Even if Fleur herself is thoroughly ensconced in the Weasley camp, they can just bypass her by addressing their request to Apolline Delacour care of Gabrielle. Granted translation into French would be necessary, but that entire family is indebted to him.