Reviews for A Pokémon One-Shot Collection
Guest chapter 7 . 1/6/2021
Dang, ok
Guest chapter 1 . 5/16/2019
s/13274733/2/Character-s-Watch-Spider-Man-Homecoming

MST. Also has a copy of the story on Wattpad, same username. May have more infringements on favorites.
Guest chapter 1 . 5/1/2019
Heads up, copyright infringement cases of Marvel Avengers Infinity War, Spider-Man shows and games..

s/13121277/2/The-Avengers-Watch-Infinity-War. - Has been warned repeatedly. Story taken down off of Ao3 but refused to fix the copyright issue despite the strike against it. Refuses to do another reaction fic, despite begging from users, but is thinking of doing trailer reactions. Proclaims this is dedicated to Stay Lee.

s/13133563/17/Watching-Avengers-Infinity-War - Previous story was stopped because of copyright infringement and MST, but thanks to user begging and lies about copyright the user has decided to continue with this version. Has been repeatedly warned, and has tried to shove off comments with the classic "other people" in later notes. Has defenders, one such defender, u/4430082/The-Bronipegusisters-Studios, has songfics, is telling them: Please do not listen to the guest who are going around claiming that works are going to be copyrighted! Another writer, who had a Watching Spider-Man: Homecoming fic(That I was reading and was really good), took the fic down because they were scared of getting copyright claimed. The guest who copy-and-pasted that copyright bs on Chapter 9 was from another guest who put that on another story from the same writer who took their fic down.

Fanfiction is a place where we can let our imaginations run wild! Whether it be characters interacting with each other outside of the storyline or characters watching their own content or even OC/self inserts! Heck, I, myself, have made stories where I added my character into the plot(which is currently on hiatus until I have the motivation to write for it again). People can write what they want because they can and want to. If other people don't like it, they don't have to read it" - bull. They are now being begged to do more reaction fics, especially for Endgame.

s/13130129/11/Avengers-play-Spider-Man-PS4 - MST to the video game Spider-Man. Plans to do comic reactions and the DLCs.

s/12549334/1/Watching-the-Spectacular-Spider-man-ENDED-AND-MARKED-FOR-DELETION - User hates being told about infringement, calls you a bully if you try respectfully warning them, and call out their bill in turn. Got a defender that likes to harass , suspect it's actually the user, also hates being called out on their crap. They are suppose to remove it, but haven't.
ZadArchie chapter 7 . 12/27/2018
So dreadfully sorry for the lateness of this review. I’ve been horrible about keeping up with WA challenge pieces.

I’m actually glad to be reading this story again. I was looking through the reviews to make sure I hadn’t already reviewed this story before, and lo and behold, I had read a previous chapter for the Halloween Challenge way back when. I remember enjoying that story very much. Can’t wait to see what you have in store here.

This was really interesting. First, it is exactly what I pictured when you think of a two-headed creature/character. Lots and lots of arguing. I think what’s important with this kind of a situation is that the two personalities each have their own distinct voice. Some authors just skip to the arguing and don’t really think about that, but I think you did this well. I can feel the differences in both characters. One is more of a smarta** who does most of the thinking and the other is a bit of a hothead who takes action. Good combo of opposites.

Second, I think what I like about this story is that it’s a humor piece. Usually when authors do stories in the perspective of a pokemon, it’s all calm, contemplative, and stuff. That’s fine. I like those stories. But this one shows that there can be some not-so-serious moments in the minds of pokemon. They’re not all little philosophical gurus.

Finally, I liked the ending scene. It took it out of the humor genre for a second to actually think about the nature of a Zweilous. What does happen to it when it becomes a Hydreigon? And how does that make them feel? That gives the readers empathy for the characters, and that was a nice touch.

Best,
Zad
Guest chapter 1 . 11/20/2018
I've run across of MSTs in the Avengers fandom: s/13020145/23/The-Avengers-Watch-Their-Movies

s/13121277/1/The-Avengers-Watch-Infinity-War

s/13118217/1/A-Warning-from-the-Future

s/13082658/1/Watching-Avengers-Infinity-War

s/12931623/1/Avengers-watch-trailers-and-scenes
Guest chapter 1 . 8/21/2018
The user justsmileandwaveboys has reposted their story, Repercussions, on Archive of Our Own. Here: archiveofourown dot org / works / 15293550 / chapters / 35732979

They are also linking to a site where they can download the books for free. The link is in chapter three author note.
Guest chapter 1 . 7/3/2018
I don't know if you do Archive of Our Own copyright violations but while browsing I ran across this one. archiveofourown for org / works / 15153023 / chapters / 35140079

It's a Watch the Show type story. I can't warn them about the infringement as they don't allow non archive users to comment. And it is not their only infringement. They have a song fi c too using copyrighted song lyrics. I reported both to the admins, but I don't think the first will get dealt with immediately as they haven't shown the copyrighted portions yet. But perhaps maybe u guys can let them know if this major wrong.
ArkTaisch chapter 7 . 5/28/2018
Hi, here from the WA forum. Only vaguely familiar with Pokemon, but once I looked up "Zweilous", it all fell into place for me. Very clever, and a great use of the all-dialogue format! Classic "two personalities (or two individuals?) in one body". Fun to read, and a glimpse into what it would be like living with your other head as your constant companion, and thought-provoking (and scary) with what happens when you evolve into a more singular being!

I enjoyed the banter and often fed-up irritation between the two. Funny and touching at the end.

Good luck with the challenge!
rebecca-in-blue chapter 7 . 4/19/2018
Hi there, here from the All/No Dialogue Challenge and totally fandom-blind. I didn't have the guts to even consider trying an all-dialogue story, so props to you on finishing yours. I can't imagine it was easy to write, and it's not quite easy to review either, since we never fully find out who or where these characters are. But you do a good job at conveying plot elements through the dialogue in a natural way; "the depths of the cave" tells us the setting, "just grazed your cheek" tell us about the fight that's just happened, their conversation about Audia tells us about their personalities and their view of humans. I really liked the poignancy of the final scene; after listening to these two talk and bicker so much, it's a very effective, bittersweet ending to imagine that one of their voices might be silenced when they evolve. Wonderful work.
Guest chapter 1 . 12/14/2017
I wasn't sure if you knew about these two or not, but just in case I'm letting you guys know.

SlytherinDemigod18 - Hetalia Souls Revealed ( www . fanfiction s / 12756178 / 2 / Hetalia - Souls - Revealed) - Songfic. So far, the user has used seven songs within seven chapters. Complete lyrics, with the characters singing as to reveal their hidden secrets. The songs they have used so far are:

Ch. 2 "If Everyone Cared" - Nickelback
Ch. 3 "Hero" - Nickelback
Ch. 4 "Welcome to the Black Parade" - My Chemical Romance
Ch. 5 "Touch the Sky" - Julie Fowlis
Ch. 6 "Viva La Vida" - Coldplay
Ch. 7 "Jet Lag" - Simple Plan
Ch. 8 "All of Me" - John Legend

The author is aware that it violates both the site's rules and copyright law.

Anime4life5 - Memories - Copies entire scenes and dialogue from the episodes of Hetalia Axis Powers. Their defence is that "they did it out of request from their readers, in order to please them and everyone who enjoys the fic.". The story is no longer on FFN. The author got real upset at a bunch of people calling them out for the copy infringement, and for the disrespect they were doing to the creators, that they posted a non-story chapter to complain about it. This is where they try to throw away any responsiblity and blame others for it, with stating they do respect the copyright holders. However, the note quickly disappeared after many pointed out their immaturity at trying to avoid the responsiblity and blaming others for it, with pointing out that if they had any respect at all that they wouldn't have copied in the first place, or would have removed the infringement from all copies of the work upon first warning. A day after the note was removed, the story vanished. Either by user removal, or by admins.

However, this user still has the story posted along with the copied scenes on Wattpad. Chapter 1 (www . wattpad 343468485 - memories - chapter - 1) -Copied the scene from episode 46 of the show. Even admits to it in the bottom author note. It is the first memory the characters are watching. Chapter 2 (www . wattpad 345344625 - memories - chapter - 2 / page / 5). Copied the scene from episode 48. I was on mobile when I got the link. It is the third memory they are watching. If you have trouble finding it, that is if you get the full chapter view, the easiest way to find it is to do the ctrl f with the words "Hey, hey papa could I have some wine". In the episode, one of the characters is singing the ending theme for the show.

I sent a ticket a month back, and resent one last week. The author may have another copy of the story posted to their Quotev or DA account. The user lists them all on her profile on this site. Anime_4_life5 is her Wattpad account name.

Info on the show: The episodes last 5 minutes, each. Funimation owns the English rights.
VST chapter 6 . 11/18/2016
Hi, Jeremy,

Here from the WA Halloween Challenge. Congratulations on completing your story for the challenge.

I'm nominally familiar with Pokémon, having played the game with my kids a number of years ago and watched a few episodes and the movie with them (I say “movie” because I’m not sure if there have been more since that first one). However, I couldn’t identify a single type of Pokémon other than Pikachu and I’m not sure if that was a type or its name, so the litany of types like ((…Gengar, a Dusclops, et cetera)) just washes over me.

I like the opening since it is a reminder of childhood times in the days before text messaging, or perhaps those are text messages!

The description of the lady’s home, her past actions, and the sad but unknown tale of her passing was a great way of setting up what was to come. Was it old age or was it related, a harbinger of what was about to occur?

The tale grows much darker as the events unfold, but I found it well handled as a horror tale. We see what happens with the first group and are shocked and saddened, but it is the second group that enters the estate (see below) unknowingly and the messages still being passed, which are the real hooks that make the story more effective and memorable.

There are a few typos, punctuation issues, and grammar issues but nothing that detracts significantly from the story being told. However, a few little things did jump out at me as being a little odd from an English perspective.

First, the home is referred to as “the gay house,” which is totally appropriate for meaning a cheerful looking residence. However, many younger people now associate gay only with sexual orientation. Since that could throw off some readers, we rarely see it used in its cheerful meaning in modern writing.

Another was the phrase ((An uphill way was born there…)). I believe the meaning is essentially “A path leading up the hill started there…”

((…had begun being drained after entering the state)) probably should be using “estate” instead of “state” since estate usually means a property with grounds and a large or upscale home.

In conclusion, based on my limited understanding of Pokémon, this was a surprisingly chilling tale and I enjoyed it. Best wishes in the challenge.
StopTalkingAtMe chapter 6 . 11/13/2016
Hi there. I'm over from the WA Halloween challenge. I'm not entirely fandom blind, although for what I know of pokemon, I probably might as well be.

Some a creepy little story, and I liked the imagery of the thin rivers of candles burning the way up to the mansion. Also liked the trap lying in wait, and the fact that the children don't suspect anything; they just assume it's because it's Halloween. And there's no happy ending here either; it's quite a creepy ominous ending, with more people arriving and about to stumble into the trap.

I do have some SPAG coments to make and some suggestions for rewording (some of which I see have already been made but oh well).

On with the inline comments:

'dressing up in scary costumes and go trick-or-treating around
the neighbourhood.'

- The verbs don't quite agree here. Could be either 'and going'
or 'costumes to go'

'became fixed in the huge, rainbow coloured mansion that sat on
the top of a hill.'

- 'fixed on'
- I kind of feel like 'the hill' would work better, but perhaps
I'm just being picky.

'Halloween night; since its sole inhabitant, a jolly old wmoan
and the widow of a businessman who liked to wear green and adored
children, always'

- That shouldn't be a semi-colon, but a comma. Alternatively, you
could delete the 'since' and it will work.
- Typo: 'woman'
- Misplaced modifier, which makes the sentence ambiguous: who
liked to wear green and adore children? The woman or her husband?

'the iron bars that opened in the brick wall that '

- 'Iron bars' seems like an odd way to put it. Perhaps 'wrought
iron gate'?

'An uphill way was born there, leading to the doors of the
mansion, which sat atop the hill with all lights turned off, and
what looked like a black chandelier hanging over the main door.'

- Not sure about 'An uphill way was born there'.
- Perhaps 'over the porch' rather than 'over the main door'?

'of their Halloween bucket and entered the mansion.'

- This is a little ambiguous, and briefly confused me. I thought you meant they were entering the building itself, but they're not. Perhaps use: 'entered the grounds.' instead (or 'grounds of the mansion' would work too).

'More and more lights did the same as they walked'

- 'Two twin' is redundant. You only need one or the other.

'pokémon dollars in the Halloween decorations,'

- on the

'what else could possibly have the old lady prepared?'

- The word order here is a little off. Better written as: 'could the old lady have possibly prepared?'

'visitors that wished to enter the state.'
'or something, inside the state.'
'by two adults, had entered the state,'

- estate

'When her friends asked her where was she going, she answered, her blond hair standing on end, her thoughts on being drained from their energy.'

- 'where she was going'
- Do you mean to say she's telling them her thoughts? or that her thoughts have heen drained of their energy?
- I think it's the latter, perhaps: 'her thoughts drained of their energy.'
- If the former, then perhaps: 'telling them her thoughts' - still think it should be 'drained of'

'She expired with her open moth,'

- mouth

'Envolved by the clear blue aura,'

- Do you mean 'enveloped'

~~

Hope you found this helpful, and good luck with the challenge.
Igenlode Wordsmith chapter 6 . 11/6/2016
Igenlode here from Writers Anonymous!
There are a few non-idiomatic usages in this piece, but I'm assuming that this is because English is not your native language.
I'm pretty much fandom-blind, but not completely, as oddly enough Litwick made an appearance in the other Pokemon story I read for the challenge :-)

"dressing up in scary costumes and go trick-or-treating" - "and going" (or "to go", depending on the intended meaning)
"became fixed in" - "fixed on"

"jolly old wmoan" - typo: woman

From a realism standpoint I have to say I'm a *bit* surprised that the jolly, sociable owner of the largest house on the neighbourhood could die without anyone else being aware of it... it's not as if she were a recluse who could have been lying dead on the floor for weeks without anyone noticing.

"any visitors that wished to enter the state" - at a guess, I think you probably meant "estate"?

"An uphill way was born there" - one wouldn't normally say that a path "was born" unless being exceedingly poetic, just that it "started there".

"entered the mansion"/"as soon as they were inside the walls" - this had me confused, because it sounds as if they were actually inside the house. But later on they're still walking up the path towards the door. I think it can't have been the actual mansion but only the grounds or gardens of the house that they enter here...

I'm amused by the way that having your house looking "like a mansion straight out of a horror film" is considered to be a *good* thing in the Hallowe'en context - the children are delighted!
(Wait, they actually stick their hands into the candle flames to see if they're going to burn or not? Ouch!)

"into a cementery" - typo: cemetery

And I like the link between the hearts pounding with excitement and pounding with over-exertion; the children don't suspect anything, and why should they? They're just going to a friend's house...

"they had just ran" - typo: run

"When her friends asked her where was she going, she answered, her blond hair standing on end, her thoughts on being drained from their energy" - I found this sentence a bit confusing, since it didn't seem to say what her answer *was* (and it wasn't until "they all turned to leave" that I worked it out).
If it read "she answered *with* her thoughts on being drained" or something along those lines, might it be a little clearer?

"immovilised" - typo: immobilised

Once their secret is out, the Litwick clearly have no compunction about taking instant drastic action; no more careful slow draining for them once the prey makes an attempt at escape... I certainly wasn't expecting the viewpoint characters simply to get killed off in the middle of the story - that was quite a shock!

"her open moth" - typo: mouth

"he didn't see her sister die" - "his sister", presumably, if he is the brother?

"the silence that coverered" - typo: covered

"The huge Chandelure that hung over the mansion door" - and it was only at this point that I realised the 'chandelier' itself was a trap :-(
Only apparently the children aren't dead enough yet, since there is still more life to be sucked from them by the grand master of it all...

"Envolved by the clear blue aura" - a typo, but I'm not sure what for. Enveloped, perhaps?
At this point, I'm wondering what happened to the body of the old lady, and whether she was actually buried or is still lying up there in that same room :-(

What's the piercing creak? Is it a warning that the gate to the grounds is opening? The presence of the adults is clearly not going to provide any kind of salvation for the next unfortunate victims...

And I love the way you've repeated the verse at the beginning with a sinister double meaning at the end. The children *are* the treats... to the Litwick. An endless source of supply :-(
ZadArchie chapter 6 . 10/31/2016
Since, for once, I'm not fandom blind, as soon as you mentioned the blue flames, I had a "don't go in there!" moment. Just like the old horror movies. As sad as the ending was, it was perfect for this pokedex entry. Oh, and the little blurb at the beginning being turned around at the end, that was chilling. I only noticed one typo. I think you meant "open mouth" and not "open moth." Good luck in the challenge!

Best,
Zad
Critics United
MagpieTales chapter 5 . 9/28/2016
Hi Jeremy, over from WA again to review the challenge entries.

Oh, there's nothing more scary than evil toys, is there? I wasn't expecting a Pokemon horror story, but I enjoyed this.

You had a really strong opening which did a great job of setting up Al and Steve's friendship - they came over like a perfectly normal pair of teenagers, that made what happened to Steve all the more shocking. Al's complete helplessness made it pretty scary too. I particularly like the way you built the tension with Al so sure he was going to die, then relieved it with Pashy saying he wasn't going to kill him, and then ramped it up again to the climax of Steve's death. That was great!

I thought telling us about the other deaths so briefly worked quite well too - I think if you'd tried to expand that it would have dissipated the tensions, slowed it down too much. And I loved the ending, Pashy pushing him.

Oh, and I really liked the line about 'pupils shrinking into two black pinheads'. I mean, it's not strictly right because Al can't see his own pupils, but it was such a striking image and it really fits with Pokemon being a cartoon.

Some suggestions for improvement (feel free to ignore).

-read or use a spellchecker. There's a lot of typos that distract from the story like: stroming, esay, propmtly, realie, jup.

's maybe a little too much laughter. Demonic, mocking, ominous, loud but all laughter. Pashy could've done with a little more variety in its menacing behaviour, I think. (I did like the red eyes though.)

3. I found the part where Pashy 'stood on four legs' confusing because I imagined it as bipedal and when Al's legs gave way, he seemed to end up on all fours too whereas I assumed he'd be sprawled on the floor. So maybe watch how you describe positioning, make it a bit clearer.

All in all, a chilling story! Well done.
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