|Reviews for nine2five 2,15 Moving On|
| fezzywhigg chapter 3 . 5/30/2015
I never know what I think of Jack Burton. I'm glad you had him be a white hat for Hannah.
| fezzywhigg chapter 2 . 5/30/2015
I know Vivian is bad but I fell bad for she hung up with the Volkoff persona because he is the only father she has ever known?
| fezzywhigg chapter 1 . 5/30/2015
I very much liked the phrase "mothers unpack, spies don't." Will we hear more of Hartly's backstory and Vivian's?
| Arya's prayers chapter 4 . 11/25/2014
I kept a running log of Moving On and it kinda bled together so feel free to consider this four reviews!
I like the parallels between the Chuck and Vivian visits and is the Russian version of Risk themed after Zero Wing? (All your base are belong to us!)
Oh, your Vivian is so far gone... Sad that she has her father back and he's not the father she wants.
I like Sarah's and Mary's reacclimations. And the First Bank of Evil seems to have gotten even eviler. Red lights, green lights ... imagine the feeling of being in a building designed to kill you. I was a smidge confused about 'Mr Carmichael'. I think I missed something...
That comment about the body of someone you love walking around with a different person inside hit close to some finale perceptions.
Loved Ellie and Mary discussing Chuck's welfare vs proficiency and Chuck bringing his usual levity to the proceedings. Ellie is VERY focused.
And Jack AS the wedding planner instead of retaliating against the wedding planner?! This is why I'm against wedding planners... I blame the show. But then he comes through as Jack occasionally can.
Oooooo... Good call using Frost's account to get in! That bank is like a Tarantino version of Gringott's! Glad you worked in that stocking bit and Carina reminded me of her ski mask hair in Wookiee. Definitely bed head, kinda adorable. I really like your Carina. Super sassy.
Aww, Alexi is as big a softy as Mr Chan is a cold fish. Seems we have a new co-nemesis! Is that a thing?
I liked that Casey as the ignored 'help' initiated the worm and one of the mission objectives was extracting the MI6 operatives.
Some wedding chatter and Alex as getaway driver! :) The original bank scene - farcical or not - or perhaps because it's farcical - is one of my favorites of the show and you did it justice while changing it to better suit your story. Well done!
I like your quick cuts and how you keep every character involved.
Team B vs Chan AND VV?! Yikes...
| Molotov chapter 4 . 10/30/2014
OH snap, so the guy from Lost who runs the bank, he reviewed the footage and saw Chuck, who resembled Vivan's Chuck doppleganger bodyguard, so now he thinks it's her and they're gonna go to war and shit, do the CIA's job for 'em?
| Molotov chapter 3 . 10/30/2014
Maybe it's from reading so many other fanfictions that do this, or maybe it's because I feel like they only recently reunited, but I feel like Sarah wouldn't go to Hannah's wedding without Chuck. I feel like she'd insist that he stick to her like a lamprey (or her to him) and bring him along.
But I like how you re-worked the wedding planner episode into something a little more grounded, and a little bit sweeter.
I also enjoy a much more subdued Frost. She's not all "waghhhhh my kids my kids mission Volkoff". It's refreshing.
| resaw chapter 4 . 10/29/2014
I know you've laced these stories with humour all along, but the banterish dialogue as they plan to get into "The First Bank of Evil," is delightful.
Well, that was probably one of the more unusual endings to a speech at a wedding.
Hmm, the hint is not to subtle for...Chuck, I presume, but I'm coming up empty as to what is being hinted at. Do I need to review the last chapter, is there something yet to come, or is it in canon and I've simply forgotten?
Is Casey the escort walking into the bank with Frost?
I like that line from Carina: "No one's going to be looking at our attitudes." And then this: "but since she'd been modeling the outfit as she talked, Chuck couldn't remember anything she'd said. He remembered Sarah hitting his head, though." LOL.
So instead of Chuck and Sarah chatting about their wedding while they rob the bank, they talk about Hannah's wedding.
MI-6? That's a twist. Drawn from 1.03 Tango?
Ah, the codenames...I think I may have to re-read the whole thing and create a chart along the way so I can reference the codenames to the people they represent. Occasionally I get it from context, but in truth, I get a bit lost sometimes.
Oh yes, you have this other Carmichael with Vivian. Still wondering what you are going to do with that.
Thanks for an entertaining chapter.
| phnxgrl chapter 4 . 10/29/2014
I loved this attack on the First Bank of Evil. I loved how Sarah complained that she did not get to the cake at Hannah's wedding. Too Funny. Please continue.
| RABCentralIL chapter 4 . 10/29/2014
A different take on things but still very close and very good, I really enjoy how you put each episode together as well.
| garnetflint chapter 4 . 10/29/2014
Lots to like with this mission, but when will Chuck learn not to say things like, "game, set, and match", it is like saying "one last mission, and we know how that always turns out!
The robbery was a lot of fun, and one plot hole that you have filled is the issue of robbing a bank without any disguises...that one SHOULD come back to bit you.
Alexei had a "gift" for Frost...ahhh sweet! Vivian as Volkoff, well, it looks like her psychosis is fully established and she is going to be a great baddie (a much better use of her character and her motives are much clearer than they were in canon).
| garnetflint chapter 3 . 10/28/2014
Jack Burton Wedding Planner...He does, in his own way, try to be there for Sarah at times. Interesting to see that he has figured out the law enforcement angle. I also like the way he found Sarah by what happened to Daphne...one of the somewhat disappointing episodes in canon...without the silliness of having Chuck and Sarah being duped by her. If I can rant, the only thing that I can see Wedding Planner showing us is that Sarah has become a "real person", that is, one who can be duped by a small time con-artist, I don't see that as character growth. End Rant.
I have to say that the only thing wrong with the story is having to wait for the next chapter! Lots of tension and a remarkable sense of forboding. Nicely done.
| resaw chapter 3 . 10/25/2014
I suppose you're right. In your world, Vivian is now wholly on the "dark side." And since Frost has a deep cover past with Volkoff, it makes sense that she might have an account there.
You've found an interesting way to bring together a wedding, Sarah and her father. The dance between the two is a nice touch, something sentimental, I suppose, that was in the series, while minimizing the silliness that was Daphne Peralta.
Thanks for another great chapter.
| phnxgrl chapter 3 . 10/23/2014
I loved how Ellie showed Frost the uploads and downloads of Chuck using the sophisticated equipment Orion, Chuck and Ellie built along with Manoosh's improvements. I loved how Chuck teased Ellie as calling her a Tin plated dictator. Too Funny! Please continue.
| Molotov chapter 2 . 10/19/2014
Well, you answered my question abour Mr. Bodyguard for Vivian.
And don't think I didn't catch the little allegory with Vivian and Hartley, seeing someone you know being a different person. It mirrors the turd the writers gave us for a series finale.
| resaw chapter 2 . 10/17/2014
OK. I was just about to ask you about Carmichael - clearly not Chuck as he is otherwise "occupied" - as I read his conversation with Vivian, and then when I come down to the review section I see your A/N2. Question answered.
"And your soundproofing isn't complete." LOL. Quite a trend you've got going in this chapter.
Wow. Mr. Chan does have a thing for client confidentiality.
I don't know whether to simply regard this as a throwaway line, but reading of Mary "dismissing" Manoosh makes it feel like something important is going to come out of that dismissal.
Well, now you've gone and done it. Whereas in canon, it always felt to me that Vivian trusted Riley too quickly, the context that your Vivian finds herself in actually makes sense of her trust in him.