|Reviews for What You Leave Behind|
| alpha-alieria chapter 11 . 8/10/2015
Man, you killed it again. You write so cleanly - there is very little wasted as you pivot from one scene to another. This chapter transitioned a lot cleaner than those in the past, but I suppose it helped that this chapter took place over a comparatively shorter time frame. One critique (that I personally don't have a problem with) is that it feels more like a fifth or sixth year story at this point, rather than where it is. This comes through most clearly when Tracy speaks up in this chapter (she's 12?). I'll buy in to Harry acting the way he does because of who he's associated with, and that he rubs off some on others, but maybe not to this extent. Don't change a thing though, because this is great.
As an aside, there are a couple of minor errors in the chapter (spelling/grammar - the one I'm remembering right now is grimaced vs grimised). If you'd like a beta, feel free to drop a line. It's the least I can do for such a superb piece.
| jesusfreak100percent chapter 11 . 8/10/2015
Haha, that is a wonderful new summary - always the added bit of humour, to stop it from sounding too boastful. If you do decide to change it, that one would work too.
What a thriller! I'm glad to see the character development. Often when Harry gets a different group of friends in fanfiction, they're very flat. Hermione and Ron were such cool characters because they were flawed individuals. Ron in particular had trouble with jealousy. That you're bringing the same flaw out in Cedric, but in a manner suited to him, is refreshing. I'm just glad that he's self-aware enough to recognise it. You wrote him really well.
| idiot.of.wanderlust chapter 11 . 8/10/2015
Arg this story! I've been so bored with HP fanfiction, and this story keeps pulling me back in. Your writing is so polished and the sense of atmosphere that you induce in your stories is great. I especially like how you're handling Fleur/ pairings in general. It's not one of those 'love at first sight' cliches that seem to abound. I'm curious to see what you'll have Harry do. He could either play the field a bit, or be too busy to and only decide to pursue a relationship when Fleur shows up for the Triwizard. Either way will be interesting.
I also like that you got to the reveal for Hermione and Daphne. Most people would have waffled around as Harry "got to know them better." but the whole Chamber of secrets thing is kind of forcing his hand and I like that you didn't wait any longer. I wish you would update more frequently, but polishing chapters as much as you do...well I understand the wait.
| Guest chapter 11 . 8/10/2015
Yay! You're back with another great chapter. Good character development all around and excitement and bonding in the forest to finish. Hope you update soon
| Silder chapter 11 . 8/10/2015
I really enjoyed this chapter! I like the addition of Daphne and Hermione.
| sunsethill chapter 11 . 8/10/2015
This was another great chapter. We don't really learn anything for certain and you have quite a bit of fun stirring the pot, but the journey sure is exciting and heart-warming. I can easily see Cedric having just the turmoil you show, but since he really hates his dad's attitude, he is able to fight it off with Cho's help. Hagrid just handing over the keys and not having any real idea or concern about it was spot-on characterization. Of course, it helps that he trusts Harry so much. I also enjoyed how you changed up the fight with the acromantula. Fawkes giving Harry the sword for this battle was exciting. I can't wait to learn more about Fawkes and what is going on with the various Founder's rooms. I'm also pretty sure that Sirius is Daphne's father and hope she finds out soon and can get some closure. But the concerns and secrets have allowed her to find a friend in Harry.
| HarryHermioneEdwardBella chapter 1 . 8/10/2015
| wink-murder chapter 11 . 8/9/2015
A great fic overall. I like that Harry is advanced but it's not because he's the boy-who-lived or because he got some crazy power up, he's really working for it. You've got a pretty unique AU going on too. I don't think I've ever most seen these concepts before, and definitely not all together in one story.
The only major criticism I have is that all the kids are pretty mature and well spoken for their age, but that's been the case in almost every Harry Potter fic I've read and it's not as glaringly obvious in yours as it is in most. I think it would be hard to realistically write from a kid's point of view unless you have an example of someone the proper age right in front of you.
Also, I'm loving all the Firefly references. "I'll be in my trunk," startled a snort out of me and then it really sunk in and I had a good laugh.
| Deftex chapter 11 . 8/9/2015
Another amazing chapter, and definitely worth the wait!
| cameron1812 chapter 11 . 8/9/2015
Holy cow. Now that's a chapter worth waiting for, in a story full of them. Just when you think things can't get any better...! Thanks so much for this. I can sleep happy tonight for having read something awesome:)
| Dsn4001 chapter 11 . 8/9/2015
Amazing story, really hard for me to say anything or criticize anything about it. The story structure and grammar is top notch, something I'd expect for an actual book. The small critiques I can say is that the Hogwarts students seem a little too mature. While this is understandable regarding Harry, the others especially Hermione seem to adult-like in conversation. But this is a small nitpick and them sound young on purpose doesn't help the story-telling at all. I was also a little bothered by Fleur's sudden girlfriend, seems to me a little odd and fetishizing Fleur a bit, but these are all tiny nitpicks by me.
Also I can't help but feel that Daphne might be Harry's half-sister OR be Sirius's daughter. Something is tingling (the shield thing really set alarms in my head), and that kind of twist would be amazing.
All in all thanks for the amazing story man! Definitely the best Harry Potter fanfiction I've read so far.
| odonata201 chapter 11 . 8/9/2015
Really like this tale. I think you have done an interesting job of re-imagining the story. Look forward to future installments.
| shdeslayingboss143 chapter 11 . 8/8/2015
I had found this gem a while ago, and absolutely loved it. I can't wait for the next chapter, and can only hope it isn't the same wait as the last chapter :P
| Guest chapter 11 . 8/8/2015
You're definitely right that the summary idea needs 'something'. Something like better grammar perhaps, given that you seem to have missed that while you might hoard secrets you can't horde them... although you could hoard a horde of them.
| JukedSolid chapter 11 . 8/8/2015
Oh wow, I'm really surprised! Fleur is bi!
No, no I jest :P Thank you very much for honoring me and my review. I'm glad it provided some inspiration for you.
Daphne's character got an interesting boost this chapter. Phoenixes and Gryffindor and fathers. Hmm. Maybe...Padfoot knows something, eh? No? Well whatever.
Gotta give props to Luna as well! She really nailed that one. I laughed when Hagrid basically says, "Here you go!" and onward the plot moves. The last thing I enjoyed was your characterization of Cedric feeling like second fiddle to Harry. I found that a fascinating and simple way of revealing to the audience that the characters exist outside of the protagonist and the third-person limited narrative. We see the same thing when Cho reveals how she felt belittled by Harry letting her catch the snitch a few chapters back. Anyway, I loved it. Wouldn't change a thing. Thank you very much for continuing to write, as always. It is my honor to boost your writing morale by reviewing! Have a great week.