|Reviews for What You Leave Behind|
| Debate4life chapter 10 . 6/14/2015
Great story! Very original, with tons of little unique touches.
| petepat chapter 10 . 6/14/2015
Why every time Remus appers it's always near full moon. You just like making the guy miserable, don't you?
I have just finished reading What You Leave Behind and, honestly, there are only two flaws I can think of.
First is Harry and co. acting too mature for their age. It doesn't bother me personally. More so, I don't like reading about kids, because, well, it's not really fun. Still, their behavior seems highly uneralistic to me.
Second is off-screen action. Currently, we know that Harry is very proficient with spells and explores the castle a lot. The first one we will probably see soon but the second is clearly absent. If I remember correctly, there was only one exploration time time besides the Founders Quest (which is main plot, so, doesn't count): when Harry discovered The Mirror of Erisid. When I started reading this piece I was expecting Harry delve into castle's secrets, as written in your profile. There are none, sadly. While I consider this story extremly good, in my opinion, mere mentions of his adventures in Hogwarts would have improved it greatly. Just little bits of magic and mysteries here and there.
Still, I liked What You Leave Behind very much and enjoyed every moment I spent on it.
I have also read you top 20 HP fics and want to ask: have you read Do Androids Dream of Electric Sheep? by The Carnivorous Muffin? I quite liked the descriptions there.
Sorry for my English
| TheCarpet chapter 10 . 6/14/2015
So, I finally got around to reading this story after so many people kept mentioning it as probably the best currently updating story in the HP fandom and I have to say that it lives up to the hype. I love this story, the intrigue mixed with the moments of humour and the way you captured the Hogwarts feel. Keep up the good work. I am eagerly awaiting the next update.
| Guest chapter 10 . 6/12/2015
Love the story:) Here's my meager take on a summary.
Things went differently the weeks after the Potters were attacked. Anouncing the suspicion of Voldemort's undead status, Albus is sent to exile, leaving Harry to fend for himself at a Hogwarts led by Aberforth and a medling Ministry. *Insert an intresting, story-related question here*
| Dinner chapter 10 . 6/6/2015
summary: The world knows the story of the boy who lived, but behind the story an adventure of magic and friendship lies. Imagine a tale where the world of Harry Potter becomes serious when a bit of Sirius is thrown in.
#2 To reach ones true potential, it doesn't sound half as hard or vague as it actually is. Just ask Harry; but only after he finds out what is wrong with his memories.
Anyways, a very entertaining story so far. Good luck keeping this level of quality going!
| Sir Graq chapter 10 . 6/5/2015
Wow. Just wow. I'm trying not to gush but I might be in love with your story. I'm a huge fan of how you describe magic and the interactions between Dumbledore and Harry are brilliant. Can't wait for the next chapter.
| Musubi Kazesaru chapter 10 . 5/31/2015
This is quite a good story and it's quite impressive in how it develops, but at the same time you don't meander on things too long which is a good thing.
| FanficOnSpeed chapter 10 . 5/28/2015
Argh I love this fic so much, I wish there were more chapters that I could binge-read! The problem with fanfiction I guess... But yes, eagerly awaiting more! :)
| Tarix chapter 10 . 5/26/2015
Brilliant story so far, such a familiar setting from a totally different perspective.
| Capeus chapter 10 . 5/23/2015
Excellent story, I'm very invested in your characters and you've created a wonderful world here. The dynamic between Harry, Cho, and Cedric is very fun and the addition of Fleur is a welcome distraction.
Hope to see you update this soon :)
| HurricaneShippu chapter 10 . 5/18/2015
Damnit! You just had to pull out the best chapter ending when there wasn't another chapter... Just my luck, a giangantenormous precipice with sharks circling at the bottom.
I really like do think it was an awesome ending I'm just so conflicted with my urge to continue reading.
I really think Hagrid having the keys was truly brilliant, I had never even considered him as the Keeper of Keys and grounds at Hogwarts. I have to say though that you didn't hint to that, I don't think Hagrid's position was even mentioned before the epiphany. It's kinda tough to think of Hagrid as anything but care of magical Creatures since I hadn't started the series until the fifth book was out. I do honestly feel like slamming my head against a wall though... Repeatedly.
It's an interesting direction that you're taking Fleur, wand crafting. Not really explored too often at all beyond custom wands in fanfiction. So I'll just warn you to not stick your finger in too many pies. There is a lot of magical theory you're exploring, and so far your doing a good job of keeping it entertaining. And I'm sure you'll tread carefully.
Now, the Diary. When you had the twins note the brawl between Arthur and Lucius, I'm thinking it's meant to be misleading us to conclude canon has taken place. But the fact that the first attack happened during the opening feast makes me think it was someone who had access to the castle before the students arrived. From this I would think of the Aurors but I don think they would be naive enough to talk to a diary. Only a student could be so ignorant. Which is really curious because I literally can't think of anyone.
Anyway, berserk squirrel Harry made me laugh.
Great job on this chapter, best chapter to date. Your story is very well considered, which is brilliant. It's nice to be able to think about what's happening and feel the sense of direction your fic has. There is nothing more unfulfilling than a fic that has no clear purpose. Every story needs to be building towards something, and it's clearly present in yours. I hope to see the next instalment soon. Keep up the inspired work, it's amazing :)
| HurricaneShippu chapter 9 . 5/18/2015
Some very insightful stuff in this chapter, Flamel is a very nice alternative for wisdom than just Albus all the time.
And man what your doing with magic theory is really cool. JKR never really explored much of it, and if she did she never told anyone, that's why I think that everyone was confused by the deus ex machinas she pulled out her ass. But the way you're developing the readers understanding of magic through Harry is well done.
The Quidditch seemed a little anticlimactic, I never really like the roster for Quidditch. I always thought points were a stupid way of deciding who's the best. Maybe in future its top two in points play off for the cup. Because three games is kind of lame at least over the course of an entire year. I know I'd want to be playing more often than that.
And an interesting development with Cho liking Harry, according to Cedric anyway... Only one way that pans out with Fleur being locked in as Harry's pairing. Which could create a little more conflict in a story which hasn't had too much yet.
Your pace is a little disjointed a times, as in it takes me half way through the second paragraph to realise the year has ended... It's good that we're moving along rapidly, if a little confusing at times. Maybe if the breaks signposted when large skips in time occur, perhaps?
I'm a little sad to be moving on to the final chapter, released, but I'm confident there will be an update soon as it's been a month and a half now.
| HurricaneShippu chapter 8 . 5/18/2015
Does Cho like Harry as well, because I fail to see why she cares that Harry has a penpal. I mean she already knows that Ced likes her and she seems to have it bad for him so... Why the bitterness?
You were really sticking it to Harry this chapter for being antisocial... Hard too. I wonder what's off about Daphne, and it's interesting that Daphne is the happy one and Tracy is the cold one... The room is interesting, I wonder if you'll bring Hermione into the fold for the fifth. And I would guess the keys are hidden in the common rooms somehow but maybe they correspond to different houses in comparison to where they are. The Slytherin key is definitely in the Gryffindor common room. I think... Maybe... I hope...?
| HurricaneShippu chapter 7 . 5/18/2015
I must admit I don't particularly enjoy reading about twelve year old girls getting their jollies off to facial expressions... And all the girls going all gooey at Cedric is getting a little tiring. But whatever, I hope it doesn't persist too much.
You had Harry demonstrate some serious skill skillz, recognising runes, traces of latent magic. Pretty impressive stuff and a very useful talent to have.