|Reviews for What You Leave Behind|
| HurricaneShippu chapter 8 . 5/18/2015
Does Cho like Harry as well, because I fail to see why she cares that Harry has a penpal. I mean she already knows that Ced likes her and she seems to have it bad for him so... Why the bitterness?
You were really sticking it to Harry this chapter for being antisocial... Hard too. I wonder what's off about Daphne, and it's interesting that Daphne is the happy one and Tracy is the cold one... The room is interesting, I wonder if you'll bring Hermione into the fold for the fifth. And I would guess the keys are hidden in the common rooms somehow but maybe they correspond to different houses in comparison to where they are. The Slytherin key is definitely in the Gryffindor common room. I think... Maybe... I hope...?
| HurricaneShippu chapter 7 . 5/18/2015
I must admit I don't particularly enjoy reading about twelve year old girls getting their jollies off to facial expressions... And all the girls going all gooey at Cedric is getting a little tiring. But whatever, I hope it doesn't persist too much.
You had Harry demonstrate some serious skill skillz, recognising runes, traces of latent magic. Pretty impressive stuff and a very useful talent to have.
| HurricaneShippu chapter 5 . 5/18/2015
I really liked this chapter, the flying camp, meeting Fleur and Viktor. I especially liked your spiel on the whole generalist thing. Not sure if I agree that Lily would be able to match Dumbledore, but that's your creative freedom.
I'm really keen for Quidditch, exploring Hogwarts and the various secrets left by Lily's journal. I'm also interested in how you'll integrate Ron and Hermione. Basically you're doing an awesome job and it's a breath of fresh air in a stale closet of fiction.
| HurricaneShippu chapter 4 . 5/18/2015
Wow, that was very well done. Some very nice touches, I can tell I'm going to thoroughly enjoy reading this. The way you attributed a secret room to each of the founders reminds me of The Merging except Ravenclaw and Gryffindor are credited for the come and go room together.
I hope there comes to be less animosity between Harry and Snape. And I believe Snape was subtly referencing the island when he asked Harry the magical capital of Greece.
I liked the Narnian touch, bloody Sirius... I kind of want to see what he wanted to do originally.
You blew my pacing issue out of the water, by literally completing the school year the next chapter. Which I am thankful for, there was nothing terribly interesting beyond the confrontation with the minister and the blocked memories that year. Far too many authors get bogged down in describing the minutia of Harry's life, forgetting that the reader doesn't particularly care... Which sounds kind of harsh, but I'm sure you know what I mean.
| HurricaneShippu chapter 3 . 5/18/2015
I have two words for you, very intriguing. Utterly unique. New comb. Suits references aside, this is one the first fics I've read that have deviated so drastically from the cliches and conventions of fanfiction. You're combining so many unused deviations from canon that this truly seems to be completely unpredictable, it feels like I'm treading into new grounds within fanfiction. I congratulate you, so far this is really well written and has plenty of mystery.
Harry is interesting, obviously it seems like Moony and Sirius have raised him. And I'm thinking they impressed upon him a few things before sending him off, like learn everything you can as fast as you can.
I liked the touch of the Hogwarts Express colour being for the house cup victory, I had always thought that it was Red because Dumbledore (Albus) was a Gryffindor. Man... I just realised I'm going to have to refer to Dumbledore by his first name, since Aberforth is prominent in this story.
I hope you keep a regular update schedule, this seems like a huge fic, and it's always fourth year that gets really juicy, although I guess now it's fifth year. I can't help but be curious wether you'll keep the same defence professors.
Anyway, I'm off to continue reading and practicing procrastination 101, god I'm such a bad student...
| Noctem Aeternam chapter 10 . 5/15/2015
Love the story really really enjoy the few moments of fluer that we have seen I really hope she starts making a lot more apperainaces in the story we know so very little about her yet but I still love how you have written their interactions the chapter with them flying was perfectly done I can't wait to see their relationship evolve as the story progresses
| Macabre Stranger chapter 10 . 5/14/2015
Wow! You have a great story on your hands here. Your characterization is great, and I love the way you write dialogue. Despite your claim that this story lacks a "hook" I have certainly been snagged by your work. I am eagerly awaiting your next chapter!
Anyway, here is my idea for your crowdsourced summary challenge attempt: You should use the themes of movement and mysteries. I feel like a summary based off these themes would work well because your story involves a lot of great magical mysteries, like Fawkes, the Founder's rooms, and, in the beginning, Harry's memories. Top that it off with Harry's attempts to understand magic through repetition of the Arresto Momentum, and you have two components to make a compelling summary.
Maybe do something involving how Harry needs to solve these mysteries, and could really use some time to stop and think about them. However, stopping and thinking could lead to his death or something.
Ah well. That is my idea. Good luck with your story!
| johsjack chapter 10 . 5/12/2015
Just finished reading the story and I'm already hooked. I'm a big fan of your writing - specifically your dialogue - and enjoy your structure and plot. The humor of the different characters is expertly done (in particular the Weasley twins) and I thoroughly enjoy the self-reflective personality that you have portrayed in Harry.
I look forward to coming chapters and seeing the plot play out.
| whoknowsyourfuture chapter 10 . 5/10/2015
I thought your summary was pretty good. If you're looking to change it though, maybe play up on the aging Harry a year part? I mean, being close friends with people outside of his house, interacting with people outside of his close friends more, even caring about his appearance. ;) If not that, maybe say something like 'doubts from Lily Potter and Alice Longbottom threw Dumbledore under the bus when Voldemort disappeared.', with something else after. Good luck!
| Lordlyhour chapter 10 . 5/10/2015
I must say, I rather like this. Good Job on that. Glad for the Harry/Fleur Ship, Not least because I was searching for Harry Fleur fics when I found this. Mixed feelings about the Founder's Rooms, but only because I always headcanoned the Room of Requirement as Hufflepuff's Secret Room. A room that gives you just what you need at the moment you need it? Seems like the friendliest thing a magic Castle could do, really. Ravenclaw seems to me to be the sort to beleive in Self Improvement. To get into her tower, You need to Answer a riddle and, if you don't know the answer, you've got to wait around to learn it before you gain access. Her Great Magical Hat of Power(and THERE'S another trait shared by at least two Founders of Hogwarts; They've made incredibly powerful magical Artifacts that just so happen to be headwear; The Sorting Hat is Griffindor's and Ravenclaw has the Diadem) is about making you Wiser, which doesn't nessesarily mean Granting you a magical Intelligence boost. Something about that says she wouldn't just be the sort to show off her Majyi'yks to make a room that gave the user what they wanted on a silver platter. Unless the seekers are intended to find it through some brutal self realizations or something and not just by cheating and asking a houseelf. Or maybe finding the RoR is just the first step, like with Helga's Hideaway, and one must then figure out the right kind of questions to ask and things to require to get the room to spill its juicier secrets. Finally; a guess that Griffindor's room'll be somewhere in the Hogwarts Trophy Room. Just seems somewhat appropriate for a Gallery of Glory. (also Sorrynotsorry for misnaming the rooms, but I like the alliteration. Godric Griffindor's Hall of Heros doesn't sound as good as Rowena Ravenclaw's Room of Requirement. or to a Certain Extent, Salazar Slytherin's Chamber of Secrets. Unfortunate that Chamber doesn't start with S, really. I can't think of any types of room that do, sadly.)
Nonetheless, Despite my wordiness, My only quibbles with this fic are very minor and I'm enjoy reading it greatly.
| vanchagreen chapter 10 . 5/9/2015
Love this story! I'm afraid I can't really help make a summary, I'm pants at this sort of thing.
But I'd recommend you get rid the references to the Dumbledores, and maybe talk about Cedric & Cho instead. Or mention that he's capable of spells/knows things that he shouldn't. Though that may make people think it's a "Voldemort-memory" type fic.
You'll figure it out, I'm sure. But yeah, looking forward to the next chapter!
| Bob Schwartz chapter 10 . 5/8/2015
I reach teh end of teh fanfic thus far
nd i cry evertim
Seriously though, fabulous story. I'm really enjoying it - kept me up far too late. I hope to read more! The humor actually makes me chuckle, which is really great because so few works of fiction, fanfic or otherwise, do so these days!
| Chunq chapter 4 . 5/8/2015
All enjoyable to read. Pleasently long in length, with a nicely written and comfortably paced narrative.
I am very, very apprehensive about what comes next. The fanfic description of Adventure/Romance, with a Harry/Fleur pairing, and this set-up puts it in a very suspicious place: fix-fics, and all that uninteresting stuff of Godlike-womanizer-gunslinger Harrys and stuff.
| Chunq chapter 3 . 5/8/2015
The afoot game thickens plot.
Enjoyable read so far. I think I caught a spelling error somewhere, I wish I wrote it down. Oh well, I'll just keep an eye out from now on. I like sending in errors because it's the least I can do for free reading material.
| Chunq chapter 2 . 5/8/2015
Fun stuff. I'm leaving reviews retroactively, having read up to Chapter 3.
It's interesting to see author's notes that describe parts that were revised. Vaisey was a little interesting, a little funny, kind of unremarkable.
I have no complaints reading it through the first time myself, everything is nicely smooth and tight.