Reviews for Sword Art Online: Undying
Jiraiya's lost tvvin brother chapter 6 . 1/16
I completely agree with Wind Dragon Master. Some of the reviews here are so dumb that they should not even be mentioned.
Wind Dragon Master chapter 6 . 11/19/2019
Hello there, I just wanted to say a few things.

I am really, really bummed that you stopped updating this story. Although I just recently found it, I grew to quickly like it. There aren’t many good SAO/Naruto crossovers like this one and to know that this story won’t be continued makes me sad.

Just for the record, I think that all those who hated this story are utter idiots. They did not seem to think that you had a plot you were following, instead trying to force you into creating something THEY wanted. You asked for suggestions, instead they gave demands, and I’m really sorry that you had to suffer under them.

I noticed more than a few comments who simply didn’t understand something, so let me highlight it for them here: Suguha REPLACED Kirito! The day SAO officially launched, it was Suguha who used the NerveGear (out of curiosity, as was stated in Chapter 4) not Kirito, which explains her appearance there and Kirito’s absence!

Also, to those who said that Naruto was being an idiot for trusting Kuradeel and giving him a second chance, I only have this to say: Um, hello? Have you WATCHED Naruto? The guy is literally the personification of second-chances! He forgave Obito, the one who literally orchestrated his parents’ deaths! Yes, he has lived a very long life, but the the Author was simply trying to stay true to his character! You can’t fault him for that!

To NeonZangetsu, I can only wish that you find it in yourself to continue this story one day. Until then, I’ll be waiting.
NazgulBelserion chapter 6 . 9/6/2019
This Naruto is well pathetic an immortal who goes around talking about second chances and shit really come on he's been alive for so long and he acts like a moron smh
Guest chapter 6 . 8/20/2019
it's not a flame but a criticism

even if I'm happy to know that Argo is not dead (because she is one of the best girls but rarely appears in the Sao stories!) it's sad that we have to go through the harems fics to see Argo get the place and recognition that she deserves! ), I am skeptical about this chapter? And your story in general?

1) how does Naruto know that Argo is really dead? you may have forgotten it but through the Monument of Life, it is easy to verify who died and who is alive? a simple check and Naruto would have known.

another thing that you may not have thought is the list of friends (as for Facebook), if Naruto and Argo are friends, here also a simple check would have allowed him to check if Argo was alive or not !

I did not find this scene particularly realistic, or even a little forced.
Naruto as Guild Leader should have been more careful/attentive!

2) What other question does Kirito a role have in your story?
he seems to have a secondary role to see invisible and non-existent?
disappointed because I would have enjoyed this story more if Naruto did not occupy all the spotlight at Kirito's expense.

to be honest, generally speaking, I don't think about your story?

I can read it again and again, the only thing I feel is that Naruto replaces Kirito?

do you know The Prince Of Swords?
in the Sao section, it's currently one of the best Kirito harems fics! (apparently, the author would have returned after ... 4 years of absence! ).

my point: instead of having Kirito as Mc, guild leader (or rather should I say harem guild leader? ), you have ... Naruto!

Naruto replaces Kirito during the beater event, Naruto founds a guild, meets the girls who enter his guild, spends time with them, you see where I am coming from?

Basically instead of having Kirito as (Harem) Guild Leader, you have Naruto.

Was the beater event really useful here? or the war against Laughing Coffin?

maybe some scenes would have been if you had not relegated Kirito to a secondary role?

3) Something else that I find forced is Suguha!
Should not she be worried if her cousin/big brother is present playing alone in Sao?
Kirito can fend for himself but what if he was killed?
same thing with Kirito, should not he care about the health of his sister/cousin?

I don't know what thought of this separation which seems to me so ...forced?

I feel that here too, that by relegating Kirito to a non-existent role, you have really missed something here.

4) Laughing Coffin already? so Death's Game has just begun? does this give me the impression that you are going to spend "dark" quickly?

why Pks appear and especially to form a guild so quickly?
because it would this burden the players who would like to clean the game too soon.

in the cannon, the Pks only really started to appear with ... Poh! he's the one who convinced and brainwashed many people like Rosalia by persuading them that the Death Game did not exist! knowing full well that Death's Game was real!

5) Poh's death was fast, too fast, badly led, and poorly executed!

WITHOUT Laughing Coffin, player progression will be faster!

why Lizbeth kidnapped by Laughing Coffin?

Poh is a mastermind, it does NOT look like him to commit such an odd!
why Lisbeth in particular?
play the role of the damsel in distress saved by her white knight?

can't she defend herself alone?

Naruto who kills an ENTIRE guild alone?
Neither Asuna nor Lisbeth seems shocked or frightened by this act!
Naruto has just killed tens probably a hundred people and Asuna Lisbeth agree without flinching!
they aren't robots or ninjas driven to kill but simple teenagers!

then the Pks don't play fair! tricks, poisons, espionage, everything is good for killing and hurting future victims!

How many Pks are there? 30? 40? ...100? and Naruto kills them all as one man army?

Naruto may be Op in real life but here it's Sao! nothing to do with life!
it is absolutely not realistic in terms of video games!

I have the impression that you have never played video games especially mmos like World Of Warcraft?

health, buffs, debuffs (poison, paralysis, ...), statistics: Strength, Endurance, Attack, Defense, ...

my general impression everything goes too fast and especially too dark quickly and unnecessarily, Kirito is relegated to a non-existent role (why would he refuse to play in a guild ESPECIALLY if Suguha HIS Sister IS present ) because Naruto seems to replace him, relationships are rushed (Suguha who switch too quickly from Kazuto to Naruto!), no development, no boss battles, etc,...

in my opinion it would have been better if Naruto AND Kirito were the main heroes of this story! each possibly with their own harems?

Ps: you should read The Prince Of Swords, Prestige, Stand Together And Smile, Sao The Eroge, Aincrad But Different.

they are all Kirito's harems fics.

in terms of development, interactions, boss battles they are much better than your story. sorry

once again it is NOT a flame but a criticism that I hope will be constructive for you!
Guest chapter 3 . 8/20/2019
there is an error in this chapter. when Naruto looks in Kirito's direction, he looks at him/her as if Kirito was... female!?

"Female" Kirito seems to be a fault of inattention, was Naruto talking to someone else?
NeonZangetsu chapter 5 . 8/13/2019
Do you want me to drop this story?! I was planning on updating, but if everyone's going to be like this, perhaps its best if I just let it die.

Gods, I am so sick of this...
NeonZangetsu chapter 4 . 8/13/2019
And you wonder why I don't bloody update things these days! Because of crap like this! I only wanted to make people happy, but apparently that's not enough in this day and age.


Excuse me for following canon. Damned if you do, damned if you don't, it seems.
NeonZangetsu chapter 2 . 8/13/2019

I'm sorry that Kirito isn't getting the girls in this story. I'm sorry that upsets people. But you were warned from the get-go. If you don't like this story, kindly don't read it. Harassing me serves no purpose and just keeps the cycle of violence going around.

Keep this up and I'll start blocking accounts.
NeonZangetsu chapter 1 . 8/13/2019
Will everyone kindly stop about Argo?!

I've said time and time again, this mirrors the events of the anime. Cherished characters WILL die. I'm sorry if that upsets some people. I've tried to maintain a civil dialogue here but calling me names does nothing but tick me off. So you know what? I'll let you all in on a little secret:


They're all going to get revived.

It was meant to be a surprise of sorts.

Louis XII chapter 6 . 8/13/2019
I didn't understand the interest of killing Argo as in the anime? to add drama unnecessarily? Isn't that supposed to be a... harem fic?

especially since this chapter is only a copy-paste of the anime.

Argo in Sachi's role, Naruto in Kirito's role.
Argo dies like Sachi and Naruto in "Kirito" role is comforted by Asuna before marrying her.

Heart, body and soul? Really?

much too copy-paste on the original work. it looks like plagiarism.

and why is Suguha in Naruto's harem? She isn't supposed to have feelings for Kazuto? sigh ...

Poor Suguha, she loves Kazuto but is very rarely paired with him!

Besides, I don't understand why you left Kirito if Naruto replaces him as hero of the story?
Type Ouroboros chapter 6 . 3/2/2019
you killed off my argo... dick
flo463 chapter 6 . 8/30/2018
No Suguha, Sachi and Yuki in Naruto's harem please!
these are my favorite pairings!
I will have a request, can you give a little harem to Kirito: Suguha, Sachi, Yuuki please (maybe also Argo because I find her funny when she teases Kii-bou and that this pairing is never used, to the exceptions of Kirito's harems fics).

Kirito x Suguha: my favorite pairing. she meets Kirito within the game and, without realizing that he's her brother, she's going to fall for him as well. Naturally, it's nice, kind and stuff, so it's only going to be nice, and it's only going to be okay.

Purpose Suguha / Leafa is a strong character on her own because of this. She knows her brother pines for Asuna. She knows her feelings are immoral. But she does her best for both of them. She fights hard in the game and does not give up. Naturally she is heartbroken when she learns who he is. I'd be as well. But eventually she realizes her incestuous feelings can never be.

the fact that Kazuto does not know how to react and also rejects Suguha's feelings not one TWO times and that her feelings can never come to fruition consecutively broke my heart.
The Best Imouto needs more love from her oniichan!

Kirito x Sachi: my second favorite pairing. His death in the novel / anime had broken my heart literally. I always wondered if the author had not "botched" Sachi's development to Asuna's benefit and if she had survived, that Kirito x Sachi would make a couple more than Kirisuna.

Kirito x Yuuki: Yuuki knew she was going to die. and yet! and yet, she still continued to smile, biting life to the fullest, bringing a breath of freshness and lightness until her last breath
I'm crying just to rethink

also please! put all the other girls in Naruto's harem (Asuna, Lisbeth, Silica, Else, Alicia Rua, Sakuya, Rosalia, Strea, Phillia,...) but not these three please!

if you read my review, can you change those pairings please? or answer me by mp?

I would be infinitely grateful to you!
yindragonkiba chapter 6 . 7/9/2018
Wish there was more
fanreader18 chapter 6 . 5/29/2018
For. I meant to type for.
fanreader18 chapter 6 . 5/29/2018
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