Reviews for Resolution
bookivore chapter 35 . 3/7/2016
In a high-adrenaline situation like a fight, you want to write your characters having a narrower focus, reacting more emotionally and instinctively, and having thoughts just flit through rather than rambling on.

Make your sentences shorter, choppier. Leave out the explanations - for example, say that "[Harry's] heart rate, already rapid, spiked", and leave out the "due to his proximity to Greyback". Things can be figured out afterwards.

Also, it's difficult to figure out who is the viewpoint character and why in this scene. It appears to be Harry, but he spends a lot of time watching the other characters and not much time doing anything. One aphorism I have read is that the viewpoint should be with the character with the most at stake. Does Harry have the most at stake here? I don't know. But in my opinion, if this is Harry's scene, it shouldn't end with the objective "Fenrir Greyback was dead" but the Harry's subjective realization, something like "Harry realized that while he had been trying to figure out what to do, Theo had done it. Greyback was dead." YMMV, but I think key moments have more impact if you're tight in with a character *witnessing* the key moment.
Guest chapter 4 . 2/14/2016
FYI: Mayfair is one of the most expensive areas of London. VERY exclusive and known for housing embassies and diplomats.
Pathatlon chapter 35 . 2/11/2016
I don't care that this ended well. YOu've made Harry out to be smarter and this was like the dumbest thing EVER. Susan just... what a bitch. Fuck I hate him. I need to read more.
Pathatlon chapter 29 . 2/11/2016
Harry's still a bitch to Ron and Hermione. They've always been great friends and he does a 180. I wonder how they take this,
Pathatlon chapter 14 . 2/10/2016
WHY is Harry such a douche to both Hermione and ROn? He entered AR class and sat in a different seat than next to Hermione, his supposedly best friend. You're giving him new friends, but it's kinda out of the blue. I don't get this. And this last part: totally ignoring Ron.
Pathatlon chapter 13 . 2/10/2016
I don't mind this story, in fact, it's pretty interesting. But I do wonder why Harry feel the need to exclude HErmione and Ron so much. Sure, he changed priorities, but that shouldn't affect his friendship. None of them has done anything to deserve it, on the contrary... In makes him seem like a total douche :(
happybunny688 chapter 39 . 2/3/2016
great story, really enjoyed it!
FelixtheSax chapter 8 . 2/1/2016
I'm sure the answer is listed in future chapters, but I have to ask. Why didn't Harry, Nott, or Totsy just kill Greyback when they had the chance? I mean, I suppose it's kind of open with Harry just saying "get rid of him," but it was implied later that he's still alive. I get that Harry wouldn't want to stain his hands, but with his personality revamp, I don't see how he wouldn't come to the conclusion that taking one life to save potentially thousands wouldn't be the right thing to do... Then again, maybe I've been reading too many Naruto stories and I've gotten used to reading about ninja children...
tanilc chapter 40 . 1/31/2016
Great story thanks
Guest chapter 40 . 1/28/2016
Beautifully done fiction... i loved ur writting...U describe everthing so well...better then writers with eyes...thank you
Sandra Fiore chapter 40 . 1/25/2016
I just found and read RESOLUTION. Thank you for your efforts. It's nice to find a complete story to read start to finish. You asked how to improve your action scenes. You need more description. You raise suspense by using dark/death imagery. You should have described how dark the night was, with the clouds periodically hiding the ice white moon creating shadows for evil to hide in. There should have been mist or clouds shrouding the trees making it hard for the students to see and leave the reader wondering what was going to pop out at them and when. The wind should have lifted their hair like skeletal fingers, etc. Also you told us ahead of the time what was going to happen. I can't go back and look at the paragraph without this erasing this so I can't point out the sentence that said exactly what was going to happen. Instead while the others are calling Susan back her broom should simply be swept out from under her by the leaping monster and ugly claws on a stinking, hairy arm just miss her midsection as she fell helplessly to the thick briars on the forest floor. The sickening snap sounding simultaneously with her cry of pain. Zoom in and show the scene in greater detail. Also show it from one person's point of view, tell us what they are feeling and the reader will feel it too.
I love how you deal with people, that's my weakness my people tend to be emotionally 2 dimensional. You are good at it. You are also good at keeping your plot on track where so many writers tend to wander off into side stories. Please keep writing, you have talent and I look forward to reading Resurrection.
ptl4ever419 chapter 39 . 1/25/2016
This is amazing! Such an awesome story. I love how you have the students react to Dumbledore and don't have him as the stereotypical bad guy but as more of a grey character.
tamashiyuki chapter 40 . 1/25/2016
Very goooooood!
Be continued?
Kagugu chapter 39 . 1/21/2016
Thank you for your hard work, I enjoyed reading this piece
Ethenia chapter 39 . 1/21/2016
It is a very well written story that I enjoyed reading.
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