Is this medicore cry baby Harry or a Harry that tries to live up to his parents genius cause it sure as hell doesn't look like the 2nd one... Whatever you're trying to accomplish with this story is unfortunately not working out for you otherwise we wouldn't have to suffer through minimal interaction, maximum angst and maximum stupidity

From what you're trying to write Harry as you're not really having him asking or looking for key information and he seems to ignore a lot of shit he should ask about, very disappointed

Hi,

You asked for feedback. I'll offer some. I greatly liked the story concept. A summer without interference is a clever idea.

For the most part, your characters worked. You marginalized Hermione and to a smaller extent Ron and Dumbledore without degrading them. Your Susan, Flitwick and Theo worked well, They are worth caring about.

In balance, your editing was noticeably lacking and I believe that more people would take your story seriously if you wrote 5-10K word chapters rather than 1,500 - 2,000 word ones. Your story would flow better as well.

Thanks for sharing your story.

Old-Crow

Thanks for writing and sharing this I really enjoyed reading it . I really liked the character you gave Harry , Theo , Nev and sue . They each came to life in their own way. There were also some nice original ideas and I really enjoyed the way Harry and Theo met. I look forward to the sequel.

What a wonderful story. Thank you for sharing

I like the reference to Queen.

I found this through an aimless google search for fic and I'm so glad I did. Your worldbuilding is wonderful, your tone is measured and wonderfully smooth to read, and I flat out enjoy how you put words together. I spent the entire read with a smile on my face, and now I'm off to go check out the sequel.

did you use Monopoly for places and street names?

duel, not dual, throughout.

Loved this story, and look forward to reading 'Resurrection'.

Thoroughly enjoying this story, but it is 'duel', not dual...

This story is great! I like the concept of Harry improving because of one too many brushes with death and you delivered it beautifully! Thanks for writing it!

Wow! Harry not interested in sirius and aunt cass even though they're family? That's harsh. What happened to harry last year that he is so cold to everyone eg Ron and Hermione who were his close friends before? And I'm puzzled that R and H aren't hassling him for not spending time with them.

thank you for a wonderful story and so happy that there is a next year :)
nintschi

Upon re reading one thing stuck out that always bothered me in fanfiction ... The knight bus... All official sources as well as Stan in the books say "just hold your wand arm/hand out" can't remember if that is arm or hand but that does not matter if you hold your arm out the hand goes with it by default, if is just the hand I would worry about accidentally calling the bus. I suppose its more about having the magic for the bus to sense and the intent to call the bus.

But my point is that nothing in that says your wand has to be in your hand when you call the bus that is in essence for stranded magical people. To me stranded implies you don't necessarily have your wand or you could call someone or something. But still officially you don't need a wand to call the knight bus.

And that always bugs me when people say "hold your wand out" because its not.