Reviews for YuYuGB! ?
isis424 chapter 12 . 2/15/2018
LOVE! MORE!
Anony Mu-Su chapter 1 . 8/3/2016
I am not reading this mess. I will once you have gone through your story and have successfully separated each speaker/point-of-view into its own paragraph. This might be the best story of all time, but I'll never know until it's actually _readable_. Google "How to write dialogue" or "How to write story conversation" if you need assistance.

Or just get a beta reader.
Jackalope89 chapter 1 . 2/22/2016
Words of advice. Go through all posted chapters and separate the dialogue lines of one character from another. Also, try and keep it so that one person talking, other than say immediate reactions of those they are talking to, is their own paragraph. Finally, big paragraphs are hindrances. Spread them out into smaller ones.

Why do this? It makes it considerably easier to read and follow along.