|Reviews for Harry Potter: No Good Deed Goes Unpunished|
| Lerris chapter 1 . 10/3
Hmm it appears to be a self insert with the author's preferred upgrades. Pass for now.
| Blazeb79 chapter 19 . 4/22
Im going to fave it just for sheer balls to write something so effing crazy and making it make some sense.
| Guest chapter 2 . 4/6
Another abandoned story by a crap writer
| Runecutter chapter 15 . 4/4
"Any bed in the house except Gran's"... Neville hasn't thought that through.
While that this time might not be to his detriment (except when either one of hte girls is one with subzero feet or a cover-hugging violent bed-troll) he really should work at his logical formulation ability if he wants to lead a strong and powerful house in the future :P
Pansy's speech needs a correction once more: formerly is referring to a past event. You mean formally, as in "done in a formal way".
Quills and spells... an interesting concept, but it doesn't seem to make much sense... why would the vessel matter that delivers the ink to the paper? Maybe some industrially produced inks in cheap biros will not work because of a lack of organic contents (traditional inks were based on either soot, aka burnt wood or on iron gall which contained so called Oak galls) but there are still enough higher end versions available that would be completely compatible with whatever the magicals put into their inkwells.
Likewise the problems with paper... as the cheaper the paper you buy the higher the content of wood pulp in it's composition, it should be just as organic as parchment (thinned out and chemically processed sheep's hide, basically a translucent and smooth quality of leather) so where could the problem lie in? "modern paper" like the plastic based money some countries use since the 2000s i could see, but if you buy a college block no such thing will be involved.
additionally... where would be the point? It won't come up too often in a year that who wrote the essay really would mean anything like a possible expulsion. And as we have seen, no grade ever means anything in the potter world (except in the possible case of Marcus Flint who had his famous eighth year thanks to Rowling fudging it up) but the NEWTS and OWLS, for which special "tamperproof" equipment was provided anyway.
No, as I see it, the best explanation for the exclusive attitude of the wizarding world for that kind of writing implement would be a traditional dislike for muggles being able to outspend most wizards (except for a FEW families like the Malfoys that flaunt their wealth, most wizards seem to be rather stereotypical poor from the Dickens Era, ranging from the Weasleys that do not really suffer poverty but money still is tight and what we get to see from places like the Cauldron and Abe Dumbledore's bar... there are a lot of lower class wizards and witches around) on things like a well made fountain pen.
As for paper... no clue why that would be possibly controversial... poor sods would be HAPPY to be able to use or make their own inexpensive paper instead of paying through the nose for parchment, which is by necessity expensive as you can only kill so many animals that will give you the skin, before you could no longer afford to raise them as the meat would not be needed or rather the prize would at one point break down when more meat is around than people would like to buy... which would make the cattle breeders the bottleneck of the parchment market. Second bottleneck is that the process to create parchment is comparatively complicated and takes much longer than creating paper.
Safest bet for a reason would be someone like Malfoy bribing the governors or ministry to make a rule against paper so their own house elf run parchment manufacture can earn them a golden buttcheek.
As I said the idea was intriguing, but it won't work out once you seriously go about finding a proper "reason" for why a spell should fail at working on muggle materiels. it's not as if they are using specially bred sheep with magical abilities and write with giant squid sepia from the Black lake on Howarts' grounds. (I know, a few stories used that trope, but sepia is a lousy writing medium which is why it was seldom used once the other sorts were discovered. Hogwarts' founding took place when Iron Gall Ink was the standard in Europe.), so where should a mysteriously unexplainable magical affinity of "quills and parchment" stem from?
Oh, btw... "the fountain pen is rather old by Muggle standards"... no joke, sherlock... the oldest examples are about 1500 years old. NOT from the 1500s, but from the sixth century. King Arthur's time! (Merlin is another victim of JKRs... HER version was a Slytherin in the 13th century. Don't ask why. Shit happens.)
Chapeau for the funny drink. It seemed a tad to blatant for a good joke, until i remembered how stuck up and superficially prude the wizarding world is usually described (in fanon at least, JKR mostly avoids talking about it, her only sin in that regard would be the "scarlet woman" from Molly's infamous howler for Hermione) so having one standard "on the street" and a completely different standard "in private" would be just up par for a truly victorian society...
"Seven witch to three wizard ratio" ... not in the books, at least not that I'm aware of. It looks like pretty much the same ratio as in real life... If anything you'd get to a sligthly more male than female ratio from Gryffindor (Harry's year 5 to 3) and Slytherin (again Harry's year 5 to 4).
And that is one of the worst hit years from the war, with both fewer births than common and a lot of families hit including the kids (suggesting mainly dead little boys/heirs).
This is just the Harem speaking.
But then, it's not an unusal fanfic trope... other authors like to play around with ideas like "most kids in school are purebloods" despite the similar number of halfbloods in the students we know meaning that only a minority of marriages will end up pureblood to pureblood and most will be pure/half, pure/mb or halfblood/muggleborn. Remember ALL kids of Harry/Ginny and Ron/Hermione are halfbloods. And all of Hermione's grandchildren will be Halfbloods too. with Harry it depends on whom his three will marry. a pureblood would turn out pureblood children as Lily had magic. So no "most wizards are pureblood" doesn't fit the statistics we see. They would have needed to kill off at least as many halfbloods and muggleborns as we see people still being around in the last two wars, an extent even beating the naziesque phantasies of the last book. TL:DR I can live with more women then men around in magical England, other fantropes are worse to read and it will probably not form the story too much besides its obvious polygamous theme.
Ron... again the blatantly open approach and the quick decision... why not compromise on first get to know Pansy and look if they will be compatible, holding the marriage thing open for now depending on how Pansy "really" is. Ron has little reason to just accept her like that and any reason to loathe her. (honestly so would Harry, but he has had some things happening that make him right now extremely open to surprises and twists in his life's story... Ron is far less changed to his original slytherin hating personality, so being not averse to seeing if she'll be nicer now would not be amiss, but just nodding off a marriage... IDK)
Sweet Water. I think the name might be a bit too banal, but the story was great. You just should look over it another time, there seem to be several words missing and a bit of grammar got mutilated in those few lines too. Still, a good redemption for Molly Prewitt.
| Runecutter chapter 13 . 4/3
The Hermione scene was cute... but getting banter like that didn't require her to "court the two loons" :P
Carolingian that's the english spelling, a french family name would not use that (they spell it -ien)
| Runecutter chapter 11 . 4/3
*yawn* How did this get into a Harry Potter story? You must have sat on the telly remote...
| Runecutter chapter 10 . 4/3
Yay! A robo-smurf!
Ooooooooooooookay... O.o that was incredible blunt and i am unsure if Gred and Forge are a better fit for Hermione than Harry or Ron could be with a slight character modification to take out "we would kill each other after two weeks"... They are pretty much the complete opposite of what Hermione likes, does and well "is"... never serious, unambitious in their schoolwork, not interested in knowing things that have no practical application... and definitely extrovert. You're sure this is anything but a cheapish porn script? (They do not even deliver pizza, good grief!)
Harry will really take damage, with the rate you are scaring his brain into nonfunction... first the "glassy eyes and a little drizzle of drool" moment with the Hufflepuff muffs... and then strip twister. You. Are. Evil.
| Runecutter chapter 9 . 4/3
What is it with scott and getting names wrong? Ignotias Ignotus Peverell and Regulus (Arcturus) Black not "Regulas".
all these new monitors after the old one got smashed in frustration are getting EXPENSIVE, dude!
Bella and a fake bellatrix? Really? You are finding all the nasty old stupid stereotypes and use them to the worst effect... Why not Madam Marchbanks falling into a fountain of youth and becoming dead sexy too? There's never enough yuck in any harem story even if it includes batshit crazy Bella...
Pharoas is also a misspelling. Pharao (or properly P'rao when going after the hieroglyphs) is one of the coolest royal titles in history. It means simply "big house" (or palace as we tend to say today), a bit like the turkish sultans were residing in and named after "the high gate". In comparison our western ones stink off pathetically... king comes from "cynning" which is "kin" "ing" roughly "basically family", emperor from imperator, a (military) commander, Tzar and Kaiser from Caesar which translates as "curly haired" and was the nickname of old Caius Iulius because that was how he looked. A duke (dux) "leads" the army as does the Herzog whose name is a word for "army train" or "-column", graf, (mar)grave and count have to do with writing and keeping ledgers for a higher up and Marquis and all similar forms sit where something "marks" a border (the marches)... BIG HOUSE as a monarchy title is lightyears beyond these pale attempts at making up good titles.
But i think i forgot to congratulate you for pairing Ron and Millie (quite a good choice and i've seen a few other stories doing great things with that unusual pairing and similar ones) and for the threesome that will smash Malfoy without him knowing what came for him... (and the little shit still deserves awful suffering from that one time with the leatherpants... *ugh* ) I like these because they are NOT the easy way out... well, Astoria might count as easy, because she's one of the staple pairings for Draky-poo... but not in that combination. Kudos.
| Runecutter chapter 8 . 4/3
Whow, that's actually a brilliant twist.
Nice for Lavender (not with "a" at the end, please!).
The twin thing is a bit disappointing... first you fall for the most boring stereotype for a "not with Hermione" relationship ("you are like my brother"/"you are like my sister") and then the first girls Harry decides to marry on his own are the sexy twins... you could have done better.
But at least Ginny can grow up on her own and won't become a distorted version of her bookself just to be worthy of Harry *shudder*
Your spelling could use some work. Somewhere (second letter Harry writes or so) in here an exclamation mark (!) slipped in place of an "I", Lavender got misspelled and a couple of other mistakes per chapter went pretty consistently through all of the story.
Another example: Five-Fold Lord should be fivefold lord. it's a title not a proper name. (Except Harry is through whims of fate also a pub with the name "the Five-Fold Lord" after a horrible assasination attempt in 1371 that left some noble shoved into a tight space with great force...)
Lavelle... reminds me of Xander in BtVS
| mckertis chapter 5 . 2/26
I like it less and less with each chapter.
| Biblio388 chapter 19 . 1/25
This has been a pretty interesting journey so far. Don't know much about the stuff outside of the purely HP elements but it certainly brought some interesting changes.
| Biblio388 chapter 9 . 1/25
The image you painted at the end is hilarious to think about. Almost want to see it.
| Runecutter chapter 2 . 12/27/2016
Something must be broken... Draco does not appear when you say three times "Beetlejuice" out loud, he doesn't even go away when you say out loud three times "Draco piss off!" ... magic must be defective :(
But meh... as far as self inserts go, you've written a decent one. A bit much enamored with fandom tropes (like Amelia young enough for sirius and attractive or the bazillion inheritences...) but otherwise well written and the dialogue hasn't been too annoying yet. Just don't overplay the crazy Lily and her grandbabies angle and this could be a lot of fun, despite "Scott" not being a true Harry... or something like that
| Runecutter chapter 1 . 12/20/2016
Oh no... not another "shopping list" of stupidly overpowered external magics that do not work the least bit with Potterverse magics... that has never gone anywhere close to a satisfying concept, more often than not even in well readable stories this produced it murdered off the weak similarities to Harry Potter such a story had from the beginning on. Such a waste. But heck yeah, bring it on. Maybe this is the one in a million exception to the rule.
Cissy and Bell? The Black Sisters? haughty Pureblood bitch Narcissa Malfoy and insane mass murderess Bellatrix Lestrange go to a muggle dentist for teeth blanching? Not only does this overlook that Bellatrix should still be incarcerated at Azkaban for another two years (until reborn Voldemort breaks her out before fifth year) it also completely butchers their personalities. These folks do not do muggle. EVER. They do not know how to dress, how to talk, how to behave. And they're proud of it.
even Arthur sees muggles as little more than fascinating pets with scurrile habits and cute clothing... anybody close to Lucius Malfoy would be a million times worse. And not go to visit a dentist regardless of how devious a plan they might have come up with.
But the other two glimpses into the "behind the scenes" workings of the magical work were glorious. Albus fighting the minister about the dementor idea was nice to see, he's not totally corrupt then and would not go any distance just to get his vaunted "he has to sacrifice himself" ending to the BWL fairy tale? And even the - as commonly useless - minister had at least some pretense reason. It would still be questionable why you had to shrink down your police force to pay for hosting the olympics, any sane person would distrust this man's future decisions after such a giant blunder of budget politics, but it IS a reason beyond "being scared of Black targetting him to avenge Voldi" nonsense from the books. it even may be more plausible when introduced by an Umbridge-Malfoy cabal whispering sweet untruths into his ears... Bravo.
Hermione... as nothing has as of yet been decided we'll have to wait and see how it works out... Though as with many such stories I'm a bit curious why France seems so fine an alternative to Battleground Britain... it is just across the channel, basically the first logical step for a british Dark Lord to go and try conquer the continent... any british colony like Canada, South africa, Australia or maybe even Hong Kong would look more logical to "flee to" especially as the language barrier would be much smaller than with French... speaking french fluently does not automatically equal speaking / reading / writing it on a level necessary for academic excellence... and depending on where she may have learned her french it would be painfully void of any magical vocabulary, throwing her back two years of schooling just by transferring. Nope, bad decision, not even halfway to rationally thought through on her parents side...
| tamagat chapter 14 . 12/14/2016
politics! how i hate thee!
let me count the ways!