Reviews for The Demon Within
Hayden's Super Hobbit chapter 6 . 3/8/2003
is really good so far. very good indeed. post more soon?
becs1 chapter 9 . 3/8/2003
It's spring break already? No way!

You know, I really hated the evil brother, Maggot-face, for your entire story, but I found myself loving him in this chapter. Mostly, his cockiness with Clark's body, and the sick pleasure he recieved from eating the hearts of humans. He's evil, but also very, very cool. As for the lEtteriNG you gave him, I think it gave him a voice, and added a tone to his character and the piece that could not have been reached otherwise. I didn't find it distracting; on the contrary, I think it gave this story a whole new dimension.

I also found myself wishing, here, that they really did this on the show. I know they wouldn't - it's far too graphic and dark for any network short of HBO, and wouldn't jive at all with the character of Superman/Clark Kent - but the confrontation scene would be exceedingly interesting to see come to life. The only problem is, I don't think Tom Welling and Kristen Kreuk would do it justice. The window to the soul of the Siblings is all in their eyes, and it would be hard to convey the black and white moods that you've painted so vividly. Still, a girl can dream, eh?

Lex's inner conflict with shooting Clark was great. The way you described the ease of Nixon's murder made a lot of sense to me, someone who's never killed someone before (I know, hard to believe). I could also see how he justified shooting his friend, because it would not really be his friend he was shooting. Nicely done.

Quite the twist at the end, with Clark reuniting with Lara on the Other Side. Very beautifully done, and fitting that she would be the one to convince him to return to life. Will you detail exactly how he ends up doing this? I'm a little confused. Is he getting a second chance because of Maggot-face?

You need to tack on the inevitable Clark And Lex Talk About The Secret And Lying In The Barn/Lex's Office. Promises to be interesting, after this whole confrontation.

Now, I hope you've been enlightened by my extensive review. *sheepish* I didn't mean to get carried away. Still, you deserved it; this was a brave and stirring fic. Now, I'm going to a Tori Amos concert with my folks. Happy writing!
Calty chapter 8 . 3/8/2003
MRP chapter 9 . 3/8/2003
oh wow! that was a great chapter!

thank god theres more cuase if that was the end i wouldn't have survived.

i like the whole oDD leTTErINg.

i'm not sure i got it right though, did Clark swallowed kryptonite?

if he has, how is he gonna come out of this one.

i'm glad Lex didn't have to shoot clark. i liked the whole Lex conflict.

good job!
LaCasta chapter 9 . 3/8/2003
Another well-written chapter with great pacing! It would be interesting to hear more about the brother-sister, just what happens between their dualism and individualism.
An-Dawg17 chapter 8 . 3/4/2003
I hear ya.i'm C/C fan

please keep it flowing thanxz
becs1 chapter 8 . 3/1/2003
Hey, I'm not great with ending either. That's why none of my fics are done. Plus, I'm presently writing a rant/essay/thing on Coldplay's mysterious popularity (don't ask), and I stumbled on your update looking for a lyrics to close it up with. So we're in the same boat here. Now, onto your story:

I love the chesmisty and contrast between the Light Sister, the Dark Brother, and Lex in the middle. Especially Lex; his confusion about Clark's abilities and aprehensiveness towards killing the vessal that is his friend is absolutely perfect to the character.

So many great lines this chapter, but my favorite is "Pardon me, if I'm not quite as blase about the homicidal demon in my ballroom, wearing my friend." Also, I loved (and got gross out at) the imagery of Clark covered in blood from eating the guard's heart. It's really chilling.

I'm loving the way this fic is turning out, and I'm looking forward to the final battle. It doesn't seem too overtly CLana (as long as you don't support it, it really isn't), but I can satisfy my dislike of the princess by imagining all the thing's the Brother's vessal can do to her body. Snap!
lolaann chapter 1 . 3/1/2003
very good. my only recommendation is that you change the font for the evil thing voice. the BiG LEttEr LiTTLe LeTTEr is kinda hard to read
Zeit chapter 8 . 3/1/2003
Bad? I see no bad in this chapter. It just seems like you're setting things up for the climax, that's all. *shrugs* If I had to pick a weak point in this chapter, it'll be the Jon and Martha part. It'll be interesting to see how they come into the equation.

Oh, and I agree about that Lana/Clark thing. I don't know why Clark worships her so devotedly either, but it just makes him act like a blind idiot whenever it comes to her, so it's easy to hate their relationship. Not Lana, just whatever it is he holds for her.
MRP chapter 8 . 3/1/2003
My god this is an excelent story! liked it from chapter1!

you're a good writer:) and i'm sure you'll do great with the ending (i really liked lost too).

good luck
SerendipitiousOne chapter 8 . 3/1/2003
I think this is going to get ugly before it gets better. Are you planning eminent character death? I wonder. Post more soon!
me who else chapter 8 . 2/28/2003
i have to agree with you about being anti Clark/Lana. She's a tad too whiny for my taste, she should just be happy with what she's got. I'm really into this story, so please continue as quickly as possible. Could you maybe send out the next chapter a little quicker (batting eyelashes) just for me?
Doven chapter 7 . 2/26/2003
Usually I think that dream sequences can get a little tedious, but these were wonderful. I always get such wonderful visuals from your writing. Little Sister is good, but I think she should have a little more attitude.. later on. I'm really looking forward to some good banter. It just won't be as fun if she stays as subdued as she is.

I hope Lex's role stays important as it seemed early on. Good luck with chappie 8!
beth chapter 7 . 2/22/2003
Noo! You can't leave off for two whole weeks! Really, as long as Ch. 8 comes out on time I'll be happy.
SerendipitiousOne chapter 7 . 2/22/2003
Not bad, it should be interesting to see how this turns out.
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