Reviews for Magica Circle
CheeseSammich chapter 1 . 3/9/2016
What an interesting plot... I found it wonderful, my friend. Keep up the good work. Make sure to proofread you work a few times, and make sure there aren't any spelling or grammar mistakes.

-Karn
Mother-sins chapter 1 . 3/6/2016
woah ok, that sure is mysterious! I got a feeling that this is going to be really good! also its really fun seeing the aftermatch of Mother3 and seing Lucas going to school. Welp! keep up the nice work!
Shinobi of the Hidden Leaf chapter 1 . 3/5/2016
Very cool. I really like this story. Can't wait for more updates. The entire part of Lucas' dreams is rather confusing, but I'm pretty sure that's the idea. xD

Anyway, please update soon! You managed to keep me up late so congratulations :P

Bai bai! :D
Ender2142
Guest chapter 2 . 2/4/2015
OH MY BAGELS.
PUELLA MAGI LUCAS MAGICA.
You, sir/ma'am, have won every prize for magicalness conceiveable. You have my congratulations. Now, if you would be ever so kind, please start writing chapter 3 before my head explodes. Thank you. :)
KingdomDragon chapter 1 . 11/28/2014
Hi!
Your story has a solid start, I really enjoyed it. You started off with a good introduction to the characters that you revealed. This is good because even if any fan of the series knows the main characters well it is important to have a good character introduction in every story! They only need to be subtle hints that build the character, like Lucas avoiding eye contact etc.
The setting also feels well thought out. You connected the school to Tazmily Village believably through the train and even gave Kumatora the live of a Student, which I Thing is awesome by the way, I can totally imagine her frustration with a girly All Girls High School :) Thought, I hope, you will give more information about the world as a whole, about how the Mother 3 world merged with the Mother 1/2 world, the aftermath of it etc.
I can tell that you try to liven up the descriptions of the surroundings. Describing the things the characters see, hear, feel and smell is essential to constructing an atmosphere. You were able to pull that off nicely.
But Í do have some critique. I advise you to read through your text again. There are some mistakes; like you put the words in a sentence in the wrong order or you forget some of the pronouns. Overall it does not deter the reading experience too much but it would be much smoother to read if you correct those things. Maybe you can find a BetaReader? Or you could, after you finish, wait a day and read your text with a rested mind.
I know, I probably shouldn't criticize your use of words because English is not my first language but some of you chosen words feel a little awkward. I mean for example you call Kumatora a "maiden" but that description doesn't seem to fit her. There are some minor typos but I believe you'll find them when you read your chapter one more time (correcting your own texts can get really annoying, I know ;) )
I was actually waiting for a story with a plot like this: one that is also well written (a rare thing) and not discontinued (I reeeeally hope you don't give up!)
Sorry for this wall of text and the criticism but because you wrote in your Profile that you are rather new to fanfiction I wanted to throw as much Information at you as I can and hope that something might help you out or something...
Thank you for this nice Story and I look forward to the next chapter!

YS Dragon.
Adelina chapter 1 . 11/25/2014
Yeah, I'm not the kind of people that wants to critisice, buuut your story seems like a thousand stories I read time ago. Hope you don't make the first plot point to be a bull attack on Lucas or Ninten, that would be really boring.
What I liked it's the emphasis in futurism. That's new! Oh, and I liked the rythmn of the narrative. Seems like you are a constant reader. I will be waiting to see your next move. (Psycho face)
JohnOfOnett chapter 1 . 11/24/2014
Hello! Can I grade your fanfiction with my grading system? Thanks!

Character Interactment: 10! The Interaction between the characters is amazing!

Originality: 9! Many fanfictioners have made stories about what would happen to Lucas and the other Mother characters after Mother 3, but I think this one is really unique and original! .

Plot: 101 I've never seen somebody have never seen a plot like this. It's just so cool!

Overall Grade: 7 out of 10

A Good Fanfiction, but it needs that extra pinch of pizzaz to make it a REALLY good Fanfiction.
JustMe.Hi chapter 1 . 11/24/2014
Yeah, Ninten. Way ta' go, bud. :3
I have to compliment you on your writing. It was well thought out, and within seconds I was sucked in. I only found two mistakes, and I even went back to look; not to criticise, but I'm thinking about doing stories and such, so...Just, be careful 'bout those parenthesis. You know, these things.." "...in case I didn't spell that right.
Fabulous work, I would love to see more, and I will check every day to see if you have updated!
Nice touch with the medicine. ;)
Starryskys102 chapter 1 . 11/24/2014
This looks like it's going to be great! Can't wait to see more. Though I may never make another comment, know that I never give up on a story until it's end. Keep up the great work!
-Startyskys102
A-mere-account chapter 1 . 11/24/2014
Welp, you've got yourself a reader. This is so interesting! Glad I found this. Everything was laced so well together, and I like the little details you put in throughout the story. Things like Kumatora's deleted dialogue, right? That was a nice touch. Keep up the good work!