|Reviews for A Matter of Will|
| Drag0nst0rm chapter 6 . 5/21
I really enjoyed this!
| Unicadia chapter 1 . 5/4
I decided to read this and it's amazing as always, but then I read the name Antalosse and I about died inside. *goes off to cry*
| chisscientist chapter 6 . 4/16/2016
I quite liked this.
| aesuidhiel chapter 6 . 4/13/2016
This is a beautiful story! I love it, and have enjoyed it thoroughly. I especially like how you portrayed meadhros, people always make him either too soft or a crazy maniac. you, i think, got him just right. :)
| kim-onka chapter 6 . 4/1/2016
Insane mood changes indeed. The dream is appropriately eerie and overwhelmingly hopeless – I especially like how Maitimo is searching for Dior's sons and ignores Makalaure – but I would say the actual drowning in the blood of enemies is too over the top.
Similarly, Kano's rage at himself and taking it out on the gargoyle, his screams and the way he's mindless of pain and injury, is very believable and effective, except for the 'accursed soldier' part – this one feels slightly overdone and a dissonance in the otherwise natural-flowing scene.
No wonder the soldier was scared. There is something very fitting, too, about the fact that the very thing he destroys in his fury is so soon needed and missed (he absolutely deserves the tale! Wouldn't you write it?)
I'm not sure the removal of a sword from a wound is a good simile for relief. Isn't that the moment when you start bleeding like crazy and soon die? Or maybe it's some implied death wish?
Good to see Makalaure realise it was out of his own need that he took the twins in; it's interesting how he tries to convince himself it wouldn't have worked, as if to comfort himself on their escape and assumed death. And then he's the one to rationalise the responsibility to fend for Elrond and Elros, while Maitimo's attitude is more grim. I like his line about the awful lie – because it is a lie, even if it is honestly meant.
The riding lessons are really cute. Maitimo's reaction to the twins' outburst about his tales, as well :D
Finally, the stone dragons and the act with the fourth gargoyle. It's adorable, it lightens the mood, nicely corresponding with Makalaure's own mood (his earlier despair and fury, directed at the gargoyle, versus his relief and maybe even happiness and childish play with the twins, also with the gargoyle), at the same time providing a theme to hold the chapter together.
It even gets wistfully symbolic at the end, with the mentioned return of the dragon and the wind from the West. A fitting ending.
There, you've finished :) Congratulations, it was a lovely read.
| kim-onka chapter 5 . 3/2/2016
This has more of what I adored so much in the first chapter – little Elrond with his childish, confused perspective. And it's as cute as ever, and his sense of being lost but acting brave for Elros goes straight to my heart. It’s particularly striking that in trying to retain a calm demeanor, he consciously emulates Maglor… and worries that what he achieved is just a mask, without realizing that Maglor’s “peace and brightfulness” (is that a word?) are also a mask, only one he’s had much more practice at maintaining.
And when after all this effort Elros is angry at him precisely for being calm, Elrond’s shock is very understandable.
Elrond’s realization that the situation with Antalosse, and Russandol yelling at them, was really their fault is rather mature for such a small child, but I don’t have a problem with that, mostly because it’s Elrond we’re talking about and also because it’s balanced with his belated understanding about the Silmaril, and little gems like “very-very far was a notion that Elrond found difficult to grasp” (so cute :3). Plus I think it’s natural he would think of the Feanorians more fondly after the harsh reality of the escape kicked in and he realized how much he wanted to stay with them.
The twins’ confrontation with Maedhros is simply disarming. (I’m going to ignore the question if elves can catch colds, I see it’s already been mentioned.) His sadness, then his tears… and the way Elrond and Elros jump at his offer of storytelling, because despite their loneliness and ordeal they are little kids and get easily excited by stories. Their interactions are laden with emotions. And cute.
The part with Nelyo and Tyelcano was very touching, too.
In short, I really liked it and sadly I can’t think of anything more specific to write (I need to get myself back in tracks, ahhh.) But at least I made it before your new March story :)
| nosmaeth chapter 5 . 1/18/2016
Hey, dear, welcome back with the story. :) I am not entirely sure I am capable of giving an in-depth review here, but I have to say, I thoroughly enjoyed it.
My favorite part was when Maed told the children the story of the hound. At first I thought it was about Huan, then I guessed it was about Maed himself and when Elrond thought it was an analogy for him (and Elros)... it warmed my heart. I am not 100% sure it was deliberate on your part (I think it was), either way, I loved it.
I loved the confusion, the questions in Elrond, I adored how he is unable to answer them. I kind of hate to read about the moment where it all sinks in to him; that his father won't ever come back. But it was done wonderfully, painted wonderfully. :)
Actually I always thought that for a while the twins would be angry at their parents, because both of them chose to leave them (though by different means).
Elwing's reluctance to give the Silmaril back to the feanorions is more than controversial...
Let me just mention one odd part: about catching a cold. I don't think Elves can do that, can they? (Oh, I have a feeling we talked about this already...). For me, it is perfectly reasonable the the twins can actually fall sick, because of their mortal heritage. In my headcanon they are exposed to such mild ilnesses as a cold, (but nothing major like pneumonia or something). And so Elrond's worry felt completely reasonable, but honestly, can you imagine Maed with a running nose? :D
(okay, I can, but... seriuosly :D )
Also it might just be my failiure to remember why they do, but I find it weird that the twins use the Noldorin names of Maed and Maglor. But if they use them, its kind of cute, how its russandol and not nelyafinwe or maitimo or nelyo.
Oh, and one part that freaking broke my heart and I hate you for it:
"It doesn't matter if its scary, it just has to end well." Well, then, f... this. Poor Maitimo :(.
Aand, I also loved the part where Elrond explains to Elros why he agreed to the escape plan. As beautiful as that scene was, I have to mention that it felt a little too mature for a child. It wasn't overly bothersome or problematic at all, I was just a bit...dubious about it...
But all in all, it was another lovely chapter with wonderful characterisations and with a detailed, thorough view of Beleriand and the heart of its people! :)
| msg839 chapter 5 . 1/16/2016
Truly it was very touching this shared moment between Maitino and the twins and I must say that it was one of the best scenes I have read between these characters. I liked the way you expressed the emotions in them, especially Maitino... and ah!, I was heartbroken, my poor Russandol :( ... but the twins soothed his heart and vice versa... so at the end it made me smile :-)
I think it was very beautiful written, every detail fitted perfectly.
By the way, I liked the dialogue between Nelyo and Tyelco, the words of loyalty of the latter felt as the purest care and friendship, so deeply rooted by many centuries
| kim-onka chapter 4 . 12/13/2015
I must say this chapter is not easy to review… first of all, it may simply be due to the long break you’ve taken, and those changes, or maybe I got too used to the story as it was, but this chapter feels different to the others. Also, it is somewhat uneven in itself; for instance, it opens with a paragraph of frankly dramatic depiction of Nelyo’s struggles with the weather, which naturally reflect his struggles with himself – you do have a knack for using the weather to set the proper mood – and then, mere few paragraphs later, the stages of his thought process, of which each and every one must have been agonizing, are simply listed.
Of these the “almost wishing to seek peace in the Halls of Mandos” stands out and could surely use elaboration. I mean, I don’t doubt he has wished that and often, and denied himself because of stubbornness/duty/etc., but regardless of my headcanons, I feel this is not something to be mentioned so matter-of-factly, without at least explaining why he would wish it now, when he had faced and survived so much that was objectively worse.
(And about the weather – I’m pretty sure breeze is light wind by the sea, not exactly going together with raging storms and cold winter nights.)
Ah, lordly Nelyafinwe, always good to read about! I have mixed feelings about his attitude to the healer, though, because I would think a wise lord lets a healer do their job without interfering; I do understand the circumstances are special and Maedhros knows more about Morgoth’s captives than just about anyone else, but lines like “they knew nothing, those stupid healers” come off as slightly childish. This is, however, amended later, when he feels ashamed about disobeying the healer and starts repeating his reasons, so ultimately it is fine.
“Paths lead nowhere these days” – well said, and definitely in-character. I also like the description of Nelyo and the scout walking together, all these juxtapositions. The line about snow dissolving in their hair has quite the imagery and definitely catches attention.
Another one: “in some hideous way it was a breathtakingly beautiful sight” – wonderful and inspiring line, of the kind I especially like.
Then, Tyelcano’s awakening, at the touch of Nelyo’s hand – genuinely heartwarming. It’s plain he still sees Nelyo as the little prince he used to teach, even as he watched him grow into a lord, and it’s so evident in their interaction that despite all the problems, and Tyelcano still being horribly wounded, and Nelyo feeling hurt, it feels like the sun emerging from behind those heavy snow clouds you mention earlier, so excellent job here.
Nice dialogue, too, particularly the repeated “depends which king” and “which brother”, a grim reminder how almost everyone is dead.
The last sentence is a bit odd in that it refers to events unknown to the characters present, while earlier the narration, if not consistently staying in Nelyo’s POV (and Elrond and Maglor’s POVs in other chapters), was not visibly omniscient either and only reflected the situation the characters starring in the chapter were currently facing (IIRC about the other chapters).
Still, looking forward to when he does find what he is about to find in the back of the last car!
Uff, I think that's about it :D
| Catra T. L. Heaveno 04 chapter 3 . 9/28/2015
Oh, Don't stop there, please another chatper soon. Be Blessed.
| nosmaeth chapter 1 . 1/7/2015
This was fantastically written. You managed to paint a child's perspective so believably! I could never-ever dream of doing something even remotely similar (and so I hate writing with children... :D)
I loved that subtext of becoming a thrall (an orc) in your soul... Wonderful symbolism...
While it was in character for Russandol to be so uncomprehending with Elrond, it also felt a little bit unlikely, considering he had six younger brothers whom he obviously spent time with while they were growing up. I imagine he must have forgotten much of that happier time of his life since he struggled with the Darkness on Morgoth's doorstep, but I would have loved to see that some of his memories return (about his own twin brothers, for example...)
The passage about dignity was heart-wrenchingly beautiful. A weapon, yes... Perhaps the easiest one to lose...
This is a wonderful story, with colorful characterisations, a beautifully painted emotions. I do hope you keep writing this, and keep up this amazing work you have done so far.
(And I sort of hate you, because you just inspired me to a level where my head is bursting from the things I want to write, but-as usual- I have to study and so I can't write. DAMN!)
:D Anyways, congratulations! :)
(And keep it in mind, that I've done the reviewing backwards... :D)
| nosmaeth chapter 2 . 1/7/2015
This time, I must tell you, the SoFaI expressions were a bit too prominent for my taste. Especially about the passage where you list Maedhros' titles (warden of the ..., kinslayer). I could not find your voice in it, they felt like the words of someone else...
While this chapter (as all the others, I must say) is beautifully written, with skillful pacing and selection of words, the recount of the Nirnaed felt a little bit out of place here. It is perfectly understandable that he would remember it, but I think you went into a little too much detail, and the flashback section was a tad too prolonged...
Now for something else: I LOVE that Maedhros is in constant need of warmth. After all, for the Son of Fire (see what I did there? :D ;) ), the eternal, utter cold of the Himring (and of his very own heart) must have been terrible to live with.
I really love this backstory of Tyel, and I am curious to know what exactly happens to him and how he manages to... (than again, better not spoil that one for your readers...) :)
(About Tyel btw, there is that passage about Losgar and him making sure that the package would not catch on fire. I think you should replace an "if' to a "that" somewhere in that sentence...)
Also, I think it should be "a furcloak of your own", instead of "on your own" shouldn't it?
The parts about personal standpoints were kind of funny in a morbid way (though there, again, I felt Mr. Martin watching me from behind the words with a gleeful smile/smirk... :D)
The conversation between brothers was amazingly done, I love how Maedhros loves the snow, because its pure, I love how he felt a sense of adventure over finally leaving Himring.
(Though either I misuderstood something, or according to canon after the Nirnaeth it was unlikely that anyone would've returned to the fortress)... Not that this disturbs me in the slightest, I am just nitpicking as usual :D...
I also loved Maedhros' recurring struggle with sanity. After all that he lived through, remaining sane would have been near impossible. I loved how he snaps and regrets it immediately.
(my hotheaded, darling feanorion... sweet idiot of mine... erm.. fangirling section over, I promise...)
All in all, a wonderful chapter, just be careful and fight Mr. Martin! :D His story-telling seems absolutely captivating and hard to get rid of, I am afraid. (That just proves how awsome he is, I guess...)
Wonderful job! :)
| nosmaeth chapter 3 . 1/7/2015
Now, I believe I promised you a great long review here (some time ago, I know. Sorry about that.)
I'll have to do this backwards now, and firstly I'll talk about this last chapter.
First of all, I'd like to emphasise how insane your improvement is in writing in English. You have always been pretty good at it, but the speed with which you got even better is incredible.
Nonetheless, there are still some minor errors that I'd like to point out (because honestly, this sotry is far too great to be lessened by minor grammar mistakes.)
1. Elros says "two of them keeps circling the walls" I think it should be "keep circling the walls" without the "s".
2. Later on Elrond muses: "what was home like, and where it was?" since the last clause is still a part of the question, I believe the order of the words should be reversed, so I think it should be: "What was home like, and where was it?"
3. And at last when Makalaure ponders the faith of the children he says "no way" which seems like a bit too modern of an expression from a Noldorim lord of the First Age. :)
Other than that: the entire chapter was fascinating, with some undbelievably, beautifuly painted scenes.
One I loved most was Nelyo' s letter and "I can't wait to hear your song" it was so, so touching I almost cried right there. The first passage about Makalaure's singing was also hauntingly beautiful. There was something cute about Elrond roaming Himring at night, and I loved the distinctions between the twins, they seemed very fitting. I loved how Elros would be the one for relentless emotions and action, and Elrond would be the one more prone to loving and caring...(and forgiving).
The metaphor of cards seemed odd for me, I somehow can not picture Maitimo playing cards with Makalaure, so I have no idea where and how the twin could have came across cards (at any rate, they don't particularly feel like First Age- tools for me :D)... But the metaphor was beautifully written, so it was not overly hard for me to accept it! :)
So far this is gorgeous!
| kim-onka chapter 3 . 1/3/2015
The opening passage about Maglor has such beatiful imagery. The mistuned string and the winter sky, which you described wonderfully, create a poignant atmosphere. And sitting on verge of falling feels so suitable for Maglor. It's like he is, in part, behaving like a child, recklessly, and he thinks his brother would scold him; but on the hand, he may be drawn to such places, high and open, because the idea of falling is no longer all that scary... that was my impression (I think that, to express it better, I'd need to write a separate fic, which is kind of worrying, but the point is that this detail really struck me).
Elros prefers daylight and Elrond prefers stralight - choice of kindred allusion, I assume :)
Little Elrond's deep conviction that Russandol will come back is so cute. I like how you described his thoughts and conflicting feelings here - they are evil, but they are taking care of him, Makalaure comforted him, but it was wrong, Russandol is evil, but he chased away the orc etc. He is a confused, unhappy child, and it clearly shows.
The comparison between the twins and the Feanorians is spot on. And it's hard to say which way round it is more heartbreaking. Poor Maglor, and just when he was happy with the prospect of Maedhros' return. Also, what a cliffhanger! I'm curious what happens next!
| BookWorm624 chapter 1 . 1/1/2015
This is so good! I am going to have to read the other chapters too!
First, I like how you captured the innocence and curiosity of Elrond and Elros. You really show their POV and how confusing and scary it must have been for the little ones to be there.
As for the Fëanorions they are portrayed well. After what poor Maitimo went through at Angband I am not surprised how impatient and unkind he can be, especially with curious elflings who are always underfoot. It is so obvious that Maitimo still has many wounds.
Then you have gentle Makalaurë...the elflings really need him. He is very IC! (He is also one of my favorites!)