Doctor Doom's Doomray... OF DOOOOOOOOOOOM

Love!

OK I'm sorry, but you need to FIRE your beta and learn what HOMOPHONES are and are not!

Personal belonging to
PersoNNel the hiring and firing department at a corporation.

“Cute”

Oh ;-)))) oh Ohhh

Wow. This chapter and explanation is purely genius! Harry potter, the prophecy and the mythos surrounding thanos and death all interwoven together to create a new world making as much, if not more, sense to than cannon

Blueberry makes your body happy, and makes your mind feel good/wel, chocolate makes your mind/emotion(s) happy, (and) yout body feel good. Should (you schield eh should feel perfect) be perfect to feel good and happy

Both Blueberry ànd Chocolate chips love both (dark but not the most bitter anymore) Blueberry makes your body happy, (possible the rest as well, can't remember wright now..) and chocolate makes your mind/emotions happy

Longer chapters are a blessing. Nothing is more irritating than authors that thing 400-words make viable chapter. Why not write a paragraph and call it a chapter. Rant over. Why have a pairing? Is it really needed? People who have been in combat together frequently form relationships that to the outsider could appear romantic but are strictly platonic. Why not have that for Steve & Tony?

"And his body shuttered". A body can't shutter, it shudders. Shutters are protection. A mind can create shutters to close itself off. Shudders are a reflexive action. A body shudders in fear. Think shivers, similar. As for favorite section, impossible. Tony & Harry reacting, Tony's conversation with Snape. The Dumbledore moment. Tony refusing to leave, Harry stating his father could hear everything. Dumbles isn't used to being thwarted. Have changed my mind on description; still engrossing, add compelling.

You may be a little high on the number of students, If you maintain 1000 and low on population of wizards. There would have been a lowered birthrate during the war which 'Harry' ended. 8000 counts only wizards, no witches? You forgot to mention in the teachers work load. They also patrol the school at night assisted by prefects. Those patrols usually last till midnight.

Your beta does a good job. There are a couple of places where the wrong word was used or misspelled but overall there are few mistakes. The general grammar is excellent and commas aren't floating around everywhere. She deserves congratulations. Dumbledore portrayal is superb. Knowing he is in error, feeling some regret, but determined to continue in the same path, no changes. After all, he is the great Dumbledore, how could he possibly be wrong.

Maybe a neutral professional would help both Harry & Tony. Then they might be able to talk. The letter from Ron shows more maturity than he ever showed in books or movies. Though he isn't a particularly likable character, thank you for letting him display another side. 7 chapters, still ambivalent as to liking this story. It is definitely engrossing and makes the 'can't put down list'.

PLEASE START THIS FIC UP AGAIN, I NEED TO SEE HOW HARRY AND PETER'S RELATIONSHIP DEVELOP!
FOR SCIENCE!

Dr. Doom good?
Please?
I don't wanna this to be another person using Harry as a tool to do bad things!